The More I Learn to Care for You: Ed's POV
by Kikiko
Summary: Chapter 11 up! Ed knows that he has strong feelings for Roy, but as the relationship grows so do the misunderstandings, making Ed wonder where they're headed... RoyEd
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: Don't own...But Ed can be my bitch if he wants XD

This story has two POV's (point of views). It was co-written with ZaKai via MSN by 'role-playing' our respective characters. We then went back and added our characters reaction to how the other seemed to be talking. Tone of voice, gestures...if misread they can lead one to the complete opposite conclusion to what the speaker intended. If you are kind enough to read this, please read ZaKai's version as well...(can be found via my profile)...and don't forget, reviews are love!

**Roy's dialog belongs to ZaKai**

**Chapter 1**

Ed stared at himself in the bathroom mirror. Should he put his hair up or leave it down? Titling his head to the side he studied his reflection. He didn't often leave it loose. It might be a nice change, and it was really cold outside tonight, so maybe leaving it down would add some warmth to the back of his neck. He ran his stiff hair brush through his wet hair, working the tangles out carelessly.

Once his hair was smooth, he shook his head vigorously from side to side. As soon as he started to get dizzy, he sat on the edge of the tub and worked the brush through his hair again. He actually liked having long hair. He liked that he could play with it, put it up, or leave it down. It was a cool way to be able to change his look. He worked the brush through his hair until it was mostly dry.

A slight shiver worked it way down his back as the steam from his shower slowly bled into his room. The heating in the dorms sucked, but the rent was free. Ed stood and check his appearance and rolled his eyes at his reflection. How could Roy make something as simple as getting food into such a huge affair? It was really pissing him off. Why the hell did they need to get dressed up anyway? So what if it was New Year's.

Running his fingers through his hair once, he snapped his hands into claws in front of his chest and clenched his teeth. Stalking out of the bathroom, he crossed the small dorm room and looked down at the soft coal black suit laying on the bed. Sure, it looked nice on him, but it was too...stuffy. Dressing up sucked.

Maybe he could talk to Roy, convince him to change his mind. Not bothering with his normal leather pants, Ed slipped on the loose slacks to his suit and pulled his white tank top on. Just enough clothing to walk out into the hall and down to the communal phone.

He dialed Roy's number and waited for the click that would signal Roy had picked up.

"_Mustang."_

Ed winced at the hurried way his lover answered the phone. He better try to be nice. Sometimes 'nice' got him all sorts of interesting perks. "Hey, it's me." Edward paused for a moment, wondering how he should word this. It didn't matter to him if the bastard sounded busy. "I was thinking...how about I just meet you in front of the restaurant?" He made sure to keep his voice light and happy; like changing plans was the natural thing to do.

"_I thought I was picking you up..."_

Ed squirmed. Roy sounded peeved already. He was talking in that maddeningly slow way of his, as if Ed was some kid. "Well...you were...but I thought that this would be easier for you...you wouldn't have to come all the way back to the base to get me," said Ed, his voice still pleasant and light. He idly flipped the phone book open, and randomly began turning the pages.

"_That's a little tacky, Ed." _

Ed frowned at Roy's harsh tone. Did he just call him tacky or meeting at the restaurant tacky?

"_I don't mind picking you up. You know that." _

"Well, yeah...well okay, so I was kinda wanting to walk there..." Ed's voice dropped an octave. If Roy was going to pick a fight, he was more then ready. He leaned on the small ledge under the phone where the phone book lay. Roy sighed loudly into his ear.

"_I **wanted** to pick you up..." _Roy muttered something Ed couldn't catch and then sighed in his ear once more. _"So can I at least ask why the change?"_

Ed frowned, this wasn't going the way he wanted at all and he was getting mad at all the sighing Roy was doing. What's the big deal if he wanted to meet up at the restaurant? Time to change tactics. He leaned on the wall behind him and fiddled with the edge of the shelf. Putting on his best wounded voice, Ed sighed. "Well...um...how about we just stay in tonight instead..." drawled Ed, his voice purring around the words, leaving Roy to fill in the blanks.

"_What? Ed...I've already made reservations. I had to make them a month in advance."_

Crossing his arms across his chest, Ed peeled his lips back in a silent snarl. "I told you before that I didn't want to go there for New Year's...it's so...pompous...and I got to wear a suit...what's fun about that?" wondered Ed, thoroughly peeved now, and there goes Roy again, sighing in his ear.

"_Ed... Like I said, I already have reservations. If you really didn't want to go, you should have whined about it before I made them. That's part of being responsible."_

"BASTARD! I did whine...I mean...shut up!" Stupid bastard, tricking him like that. Making him admit that he whines. Dirty, underhanded...he pushed away from the wall and squared off with the phone. "I did tell you I didn't want to go! And who are you calling so small he can't be responsible for his own actions!" yelled Ed into the phone. It wasn't nearly as satisfying as yelling in Roy's face though.

The silence ticked by, and Ed's eyebrow twitched. Roy was up to something.

"_I don't think I said anything about you being small, but if you say so."_

Bastard was laughing at him. "Roy..." growled Ed from the back of his throat. He clenched his fist around the receiver, making it creak.

"_I love it when you say my name, but I like it even more when you're moaning it rather than growling it."_

_Fucking using my own trick against me!_ seethed Ed. Fucking bedroom innuendo. Ed was so pissed that he couldn't actually form a response.

"_Let's not have an angry night, Ed." _

Ed narrowed his eye's. Now the bastard was sounding like a condescending asshole.

"_I've already made the reservations, so let's just go. It will only be a couple of hours... Besides, you know I love seeing you in a suit."_

"Tch!" Ed blushed. Okay, so if he looked nice he might get lots of sex later. Lots of sex was a good thing. It might not be all bad, but he had one more card to play.

"_Is that a yes?"_

Grr, Roy was expecting him to cave. "On one condition." He waited for Roy to protest but all he got was expectant silence. "After dinner we gotta do what I want. I don't want to sit there all night until midnight." Ed's tone was flat and with out room for negotiation. He placed his left hand on the shelf and leaned his weight on it. The seconds ticked by.

"_What do you want to do?"_

Ed could hear the suspicion, and he smiled. Pushing buttons and springing surprises were two of his three favorite pastimes. The third being sex, of course. "It's a surprise...Is that a yes?" he asked throwing Roy's question back at him, grinning from ear to ear. Once again the seconds ticked by.

"_Well..."_

Last card to play. "If you say no I'm not going to your dumb restaurant." He almost lost his grin as Roy sighed AGAIN.

"_Fine. It's a yes. But only on one condition."_

"What! You don't get to make a condition on my condition!" roared Ed. The nerve! He squeezed the small shelf making his knuckles white.

"_I don't see why not."_

"Roy," Ed growled low in his throat. He squeezed the phone cord in his right hand before he could answer. "What the fuck is it then!" he demanded. How could the bastard be so fucking calm.

"_I get to pick you up."_

"Tch! Fine, bastard!" Ed threw the receiver at the phone and killed the connection. Bloody hell! The shelf crumbled under his weight and shattered. Ed hissed in pain and looked down at his hand. Sticking into the fleshy part of his palm was a large splinter of wood. Growling, Ed yanked it out and walked back to his room to get ready. As he closed the door to his dorm, he brought his hand up to his mouth and sucked the wound. This night was going to be _stellar_...he could tell.

He stomped over to the bathroom and wrapped toilet paper over his hand, and squeezed. The blood slowly soaked through the tissue; Ed watched it lazily for a moment. All his unshed anger at Roy dissipated. He'd try and be good then, curb his anger. They were always fighting and it was suddenly tiring to him. Since it was New Year's Eve, maybe he should make a resolution.

Be more easy going, and don't react to every imagined slight. Ed pressed his lips thoughtfully. That could work. Nodding to himself he exited the bathroom and walked back to his bed. Reaching down, he grabbed his white dress shirt and put it on over top of his tank top. He made sure to be careful of his hand; didn't want to get blood all over his clothes, after all.

He fumbled with the buttons. They always gave him a hard time. They were small and tiny, and hard to work through the equally small cloth holes, which is why he normally dressed in things that either clasped together or were pulled on, like his tank tops. Finally he worked out a way to thread all the buttons, letting his left hand do all the small manipulations and just let his right hand hold the button still long enough to let him work.

Next, he pulled an already knotted tie over his neck. Flipping up his collar, Ed worked the knot up to his throat, making sure it wasn't going to choke him in the process, and replaced the collar. Undoing his pants, he tucked in his dress shirt, threaded his dress belt through the loops and refastened his pants. Sitting on the edge of the bed he put his socks on. First the right and then the more difficult one, the left.

Just as he was working the sock over his metal foot, a knock sounded at his dorm room door.

"Just a sec," Ed called from his seat on the bed. He quickly finished getting the sock over his heal and jumped up to cross the room. He quickly dashed into the bathroom and threw out the tissue paper around his hand before opening the door. "Hey, I'm almost done." Ed looks up into Roy's face. Damn Roy looked good in anything...or nothing for that matter. "Just got to get my shoes on," Ed told the man on his doorstep.

"Looking good." Roy looked him up and down. "Looking really good..."

Ed snorted his amusement. It was nice that Roy was admiring him but did he have to leer? And he was just standing there. "Thanks. Are you coming in?" _There's his shit eating grin_, Ed thought, _what did I say_?

"I'd love to cum in. 'Where' is a good question, but I'm sure I know a good spot."

Ed clenched his jaw shut. _Easy going, easy going...remember your resolution, _Ed chanted. He could feel the angry flush burn its way across his face. "You...can wait in the hall." Spinning on the ball of his foot, Ed walked back into his room, towards his dresser. Bending over, Ed pulled his shoes towards him before jamming his flesh foot into the right dress shoe, Ed knelt on the floor and started to wrestle with the laces.

"No, no, that wouldn't do at all."

Ed looked up through his hair that had fallen over his shoulder as Roy finally entered and closed the door.

"I have flowers for you."

Roy brandished the small bouquet at him. "Flowers? Why?" What was the colonel thinking now? Was he trying to treat Ed like a girl?

"Because, we're going on a date. I like flowers. They have their own language. You can say anything with flowers. I guess you wouldn't have a vase...Do you have a cup or something?"

Ed watched as Roy looked over his room as if expecting a vase to jump out and say 'here I am'. _Easy going, easy going...remember your resolution, _Ed chanted once more. This was harder then he thought. Shifting his weight, Ed jammed his foot into the other shoe before pointing at his bedside table and the empty glass sitting there. "Are you call me a girl?" asked Ed, his eyebrows inched towards his hairline.

"Where in all that did you get me calling you a girl?"

Ed turned around and started to wrestle with the laces on his other shoe. He could hear Roy's dress shoes click across the wooden floor towards his bed.

"There's no water in this..."

Ed rolled his eyes. Roy really was helpless. The bathroom _was_ right there after all... "Well flowers are for girls, why are you giving them to me?" asked Ed, finally standing. For the moment his ire was forgotten as he truly wanted to know. Ed's eyes followed the glass as Roy set it back onto his nightstand.

"I told you. I like flowers. You can say anything with them. Lovers long ago used to send messages to each other using flowers. Not just lovers...but mostly lovers."

"Eh? What do you mean?" Ed crossed the small room to stand beside Roy, looking down at the four very different flowers. Two yellow ones, one big and fluted, the other small, probably a buttercup by the looks of it. There was a large Red flower and a neat blue puff ball sort of thing. Looking up in to Roy's eyes, Ed pointed at the flowers. "What do these say?" wondered Ed aloud and Roy smiled at him.

"I thought of you when I bought these." Ed looked at the first one Roy pulled away from the bouquet. The yellow fluted one, and droped it into the glass. "Passion." Next, Roy puts the blue puff ball into the glass. "Strength." Then the large red flower. "Pride." Roy paused. "I hadn't intended on telling you what these meant."

Ed looks up into Roy's face. _He seems thoughtful,_ he mused. "Why not? What about that one? It's really..." Ed thought about the first three flowers. It was almost like Roy was talking about him. He had all those things...but those buttercups were really...small.

"What's that one mean!" demanded Ed. He glared up at Roy as the older man twiddled the flower. At least he had the grace to look embarrassed before he dropped it into the glass and mumbled something Ed couldn't catch.

"What's that? I didn't _quite_ catch _that_!" growled Ed, narrowing his eyes at the squirming man.

"It, uh...means...It means childishness."

Ed clicked his tongue and kept the flowing rant from falling from his lips. He reached out and took the glass in his left hand, taking it with him to the bathroom. Turning on the tap, Ed filled the glass halfway. Twisting the tap off, Ed looked down at the flowers. Was this some sort of code that Roy was trying to say something about him with? Was it a test? Pride, strength, passion, and...childishness. Ed tapped the counter top, pondering what could Roy mean about that. He couldn't find any deeper meaning.

Picking up the flowers from the counter, Ed walked back into the room and paused in the door way to the bathroom. "So...what are you trying to tell me? You said other people used flowers to say stuff, not only lovers. Are you trying to tell me something?"

"I just think the language of flowers might be a good thing for you to learn. You never know when you may need to send a coded message, Full...er..." Ed watched as Roy cringed at the slip. When they weren't at the office Roy wasn't supposed to use his alias. "Sorry, Ed...You never know when you might receive a message either..."

Was he going to be getting a message then? Ed looked down at his feet, wondering. Roy was talking in his business voice so maybe...Later, he'd get into all this later. "Okay, whatever." Ed dismissed the topic and crossed the room to replace the glass on his nightstand. "Are we going? Don't forget, after dinner, you're doing what I want."

Roy darted forward, shocking Ed with his quickness, as he was grabbed around the middle and thrust against the wall behind him. A small grunt of surprise escaped Ed's mouth on impact.

"I remember."

Ed's groin twitched. He looked up at his lover from under his rumbled blond hair. Roy and purring were made for each other. He was just about ready to melt in happy bliss as his neck was suckled by those warm lips, and Roy's hand roamed down his body to fondle at his groin.

"I hope you have something really interesting in mind."

"Fuck!" breathed Ed, squirming into Roy's hand. He was definitely wanting something like this a hell of a lot more then going to a restaurant. "This is what I wanted to do in the first place," gasped Ed. "Let's blow the restaurant..."

"I don't think so. I want to enjoy seeing you in that suit for a while longer before I take you out of it."

Ed pouted as Roy shook his head and stepped out of range. "Shit..." mumbled Ed. _Shoulda kept my mouth shut until after the sex_, thought Ed. Running his left hand through his hair to smooth it, Ed hissed as the pressure reminded him of his injured hand. He hoped it wasn't loud enough for Roy to hear. A quick look at Roy and the frown he was sporting told him it wasn't, as his hand was snatched away from his head.

"This looks fresh."

"Your fault," answered Ed. Snatching back his hand, Ed pulled his suit jacket off the bed and shrugged it into place, not meeting Roy's gaze.

"_My_ fault? Would you like to explain that?"

"Let's just GO already, or maybe we should stay in," Ed purred. Two steps later, and he was once again leaning into Roy suggestively, with his hands running along his back. Ed could feel Roy's chuckle rumble under his ear, he was pulled away far enough for Roy to plant a sweet kiss on his cheek. Ed smiled. It felt like the first genuine smile of the night, where he was truly happy. Roy wrapped an arm around him, pulling him away and into his side, where he was guided to the door.

"How about we stay in _after_ we're done eating?"

"No, we're not. I got plans," Ed smiled again, this time more evilly. Ed reached out and pulled his black winter dress coat off the hook on the back of the door.

"Plans can change."

"Not according to you," Ed smirked as he looked over his shoulder at Roy frowning. Seems his plans have messed up Roy's somewhat. He pulled the jacket on over his shoulders, and wrapped a scarf around his neck before opening the door.

"Some plans are more flexible then others."

"I don't think my plans are those type of plans." Ed left first at Roy's insistence and turned around as Roy hummed something to himself before closing Ed's door for him. Moving around Roy, Ed inserted his key into the door and locked it.

Without looking back, he made his way down the hall towards the front of the building. Ed could hear Roy sigh, and his eyebrow twitched. Roy came trotting up behind him and quickly over took him to wait by the front door, holding it open. Glancing out of the corner of his eye, Ed pressed his lips to stay quite. Did Roy _know_ he was treating him like a girl? Or was it some weird...'Roy thing'?

Ed walked to the car sitting in front of the dorms. Roy once again hurried in front of him and opened the passenger door. Tension snapped through Ed's body for a fraction of a second making his step falter before he forced his feet forward and slid into the car, pulling the long heavy coat around him. He could hear Roy's steps as he walked around the car though the crunchy snow to the driver's side. The door opened and Roy sat heavily into the driver's seat, making the car rock slightly. Ed looked out the window and waited for them to get moving.

"Hmm...I think it's this one."

Ed raised an eyebrow and looked back at Roy, who was holding up a key under the half light studying it. "You don't know which key it is?" Is this for real or is Roy just playing with him?

"It's not like I drive all that often you know..."

Ed barely caught Roy's sullen mumblings before Roy jabed the key into the ignition.

"Besides, these are State keys, not mine. Hawkeye or Havoc usually have them..."

"Hn," grunted Ed. _Lame_, he thought, and turned to look back out his window. The car roared to life, and he could feel it slip into gear. Good, that meant that they could get this stupid dinner out of the way. Instead of going forward as one would assume the car would go, they went backwards before Roy stopped the car hard.

"Oops. Wrong way."

Ed looked over at Roy, truly worried now. Especially with that nervous chuckle thing he was doing. "I should have walked..." mumbled Ed, glancing out the window.

"I told you I don't drive that often."

"I don't even know how to drive yet, but I bet I can still do it better then you," Ed threw over his shoulder. He shook his head at Roy.

"Maybe if you had stilts to reach the pedals."

Ed tensed, and counted to ten...then twenty. "You know...I'm trying to be good and not get angry as this is a 'special' night...and here you are deliberately trying to provoke me...who's the childish one now?" Ed was extremely pleased that his voice held no trace of anger. He watched as Roy stopped smirking and gave him a unreadable look.

"Alright, Ed I'm..."

Roy nodded at the steering wheel and fell silent. Ed waited a moment more to see if Roy was going to say anything else. When it became apparent that he wasn't, he resumed his study of the passing buildings.

--To Be Continued--

**Don't forget, this story has a companion fic written by ZaKai, which can be found on via my profile and she works from Roy's POV. As this started out as a New Year's fic, we (ZaKai and I) should have the next installment within the next 24 hours or so, and then we go from there! I hoped you enjoyed our little experiment and follows us as we go. XD**

**Kiki.**


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer: Don't own...but a hostile take over is in the works.

**Roy's dialog belongs to ZaKai—don't forget to check out Roy's POV as well...follow the link on my profile.**

**Chapter 2**

Ed glanced around the restaurant at all the dinners dressed up in their best outfits, and then down at the menu lying over his plate. "What kind of stuff do they got here?" he wondered, lifting the menu up to look it over.

"That's what the menu is for..."

Ed just rolled his eyes at the mumbled dig. "Dumb ass," he mumbled back.

"I'm sure you'll find something, Ed. It's not like you're that picky."

"Hmm...the lamb looks good," Ed said to himself, as he read the selections.

"Lamb...that would fit..."

Ed's head came up almost too fast, and he glared across the nice table top at Roy. Clenching his teeth, Ed forced himself to look back down at the menu and ignore the comment. Ed heard Roy clear his throat and he forced his eyes to remain on the menu.

"I think I'm going to get steak..."

"The chicken also looks good," Ed mumbled. Tapping his auto-mail finger on the menu, he tilted his head to the side in thought. Okay, so this place was ridiculously fancy. Something Roy probably got off on, but this did not impress Ed at all. In fact, he would have been much more enthusiastic for a home cooked meal...and holy shit, look at the price of everything here!

A mass of golden hair finally slipped away and fell over his shoulder. Reaching around the back of his head with his left hand, Ed gathered up the hair and pulled it back with the rest of his length. Auto-mail yanked it all to hell, and he had decided that he wasn't going to wear his gloves tonight. He wasn't as self-conscious about it anymore, and If someone took offense, he'd just tell them off.

"Are you ready?"

"I suppose so," said Ed. He still didn't really know if he felt like lamb or chicken. The lamb did sound really good, but then Roy called him short because of it. Maybe the chicken...but he didn't like the fact that the chicken came with mushrooms. There was something wrong about eating fungus. Why anyone one would want to eat something that could just as easily grow on your feet...eck!

Roy looked around and finally made eye contact with their waiter, and hooked a finger at him. The waiter promptly came to stand by their table.

"How are the two of you tonight?" the waiter asked in a polite tone.

"Fine, thank you."

Ed looked up as Roy answered for the both of them. _He's treating me like the girl again_, Ed thought.

"Are the two of you ready to order? Or would you like me to get you something to drink while you continue to look over the menu?" the waiter asked, and focused on Ed.

"Er...both?" Ed didn't know. Drinks before and during seemed to be pretty normal to him. Why bother to ask?

It didn't make sense. Glancing across the table, he hoped Roy could make sense of this. Roy looked up at the waiter to gain his attention.

"We'd like to order before-dinner drinks, but we're also ready to order our dinner." The waiter nodded and pulled out a small pad of paper and pencil before looking back at Roy. "For dinner I'll take the tenderloin with the rosemary potatoes."

Nodding, the waiter made a notation in his pad of paper. "And to drink with that?"

Ed looked away from the waiter and back to Roy. Wondering what he was going to get. Maybe he could scam some alcohol too.

"Wine. Red."

"Of course. And to drink now?" the waiter asked, looking down at Roy.

"Negrone. On the rocks. Tell your bartender not to top it off with soda either."

The waiter blinked at Roy before nodding and then turning towards Ed. "And for you?"

"Er...I guess I'll have," Ed trailed off and double checked the menu. His eyes fell on the lamb. "The lamb."

Nodding the waiter noted it on the pad. "And to drink with that?"

"Wine...?" Ed wondered, and looked over at Roy. He seemed to consider Ed's request before looking up at the waiter. Ed looked up as well.

"White."

Ed tried to keep the smile from spreading across his face, in an effort to appear more mature. It would really suck if the waiter refused to serve it to him.

"Of course," the waiter answered somewhat hesitantly. "And for now?" the waiter turned back to Ed.

"Ah...just some water, please." Ed picked up the menu and handed to the waiter.

The waiter nodded and took Roy's menu as well, then left them alone. Ed turned back to look at Roy who was smiling at him in the candle light. "Cool, I thought you were going to shoot me down for trying to get the wine," said Ed, with a smile.

"Well, I don't see why not. I mean, I think you're old enough to handle it."

"Well I am, I'm almost seventeen and a half," said Ed proudly.

"And a half, huh?"

Roy just couldn't let the short jokes alone. In the interest of his New Year's resolution, he was going to play dumb. "What." Ed quirked an eyebrow at him. "What are you smirking for?" Ed asked innocently. Roy shook his head at him, and wouldn't meet his eyes.

"Nothing..." Roy glanced around the restaurant before meeting Ed's searching gaze. "See, it's not so bad Right?"

_Yeah, if pulling teeth was a walk in the park_...Ed mentally snapped back. "It's not so great either..." Ed hooked his finger over the top of his tie and pulled it down. "This tie is going to cut off my air supply," sighed Ed, now that the slight choking sensation was gone.

"Don't do that. It's sloppy."

Ed was about to say something incredibly witty, but the waiter came back, placing his own glass of water in front of him first and then putting a large bell shaped glass in front of Roy, and left with a nod. Ed stared at Roy's drink and clear red liquid. "What's that? Can I smell it?" he asked pointing at the alcohol. Roy shrugged and picked up the glass from the bottom and passed it to his waiting hands.

"It's a negrone. Has gin, Campari, and sweet vermouth."

Cradling the delicate glass in both of his hands, Ed brought the cup to his nose and sniffed. Well it smelt alright. He could tell that it was strong alcohol, but he wondered what it might taste like. "Can I taste it?" he asked. He didn't feel that he should push his luck and just do it, especially since Roy let him get some wine. Roy seemed to pause, and Ed hoped that he would say yes.

"I think it's too much for you. Best you just stick with the wine..."

"Oh, come on. Just a sip! Please?" whined Ed. He made sure to put on his very best wounded puppy face to try and sway Roy. Roy sighed loudly and rubbed a hand through his hair. Classic caving gestures. Ed grinned all the more, and waited for Roy to verbally give permission.

"If you do up your tie..."

Ed carefully sipped at the reddish liquid, and quickly swallowed what was in his mouth. It burned its way down his throat. He could almost feel exactly where it was as it traveled down to his stomach. _Weird sensation, _Ed thought, _and it doesn't even taste good_! He handed the glass back to Roy and stuck out his tongue. "That's foul."

Roy took the glass from him and waved his other hand at him. Not bothering to decipher what Roy was trying to tell him, Ed reached for his glass of water and gulped down a few mouth fulls, trying to wipe the awful taste from his mouth. How could Roy _want_ to drink that stuff? Seemed like a waste of money to him. Ed placed his water back on the table and looked across the room at the other patrons.

Ed looked back at Roy as he began to clear his throat and frowning. "Did it burn your throat too?" Geez, if he couldn't take it, why did he order it?

"No...I'd like you to do up your tie..."

"Ah, right," Ed nodded. Seems like it really bugged Roy that he was being...what did he call it? Oh yeah, 'sloppy'. Holding on to the bottom of his tie with one hand, Ed used the other to work the knot up the merest faction. He looked back at Roy. "Better?"

"All the way. It still looks sloppy."

Roy frowned deeper making Ed smirk as he spoke. Ed gripped the bottom of his tie again and worked the knot upwards. He made sure to please Roy by making the tie _look_ done up, but there was no way he was going to willing choke himself, so he left enough room at the top so that he couldn't detect it's presence. Ed watched as Roy seemed to collect himself before taking a deep swallow from his foul drink and then smirked at him. He must have had a dirty thought.

"Of course, you know I'd love to see that tie undone after dinner." Roy's voice dropped suggestively, and Ed leaned in slightly. "Perhaps at my place?"

"We can't, remember? We got another destination after this." Ed reached out and took another sip from his water. _Crap! Why did I have to make that condition? I really want to have sex, especially when his voice goes all deep and shit. It's damn sexy. No way will I let him get away with fucking up my plans if I couldn't fuck up his_, Ed mentally ranted, which made him feel better. Aannd there's his shit-eater grin again.

"Oh? So it's your place instead of mine?"

Ed could see the humor in his eyes as Roy brought the glass up to his mouth and took another sip. The dorms?...gross. Never, ever would they have sex there. "Neither." Ed picked at his silverware, straightening them so that they looked more 'fancy'. If possible, Roy grinned even wider. What a pervert...Ed looked at him from under his bangs.

"Oooh? Somewhere else? Perhaps my office or..."

Whatever else Roy was going to say was cut short by the return of the waiter with their meals. "Does everything look alright?" the waiter asked.

"Sure, looks great," said Ed. He was going to answer first for once. Ed looked down at his 'meal' there was like _one_ small lamb rib on a equally small pile of rice, and round two potatoes nestled up beside it. _Okay_...Ed thought.

"It looks fine, thank you."

Roy had to be lying. How could this be called a meal? The urge to roll his eyes was too much, so Ed turned away from the waiter and gave the most exaggerated eye rolling he could. As soon as the waiter left, Ed picked up his knife and fork and started shoveling the rice into his mouth. There might not be much of it, but it was still food.

"Edward!"

Roy hissed at him. What did he do? "What?" Ed looked up from his plate at Roy who was looking around the place as if they were being watched. Ed glanced too but is seemed that no one cared.

"We're at a _nice_ place. Perhaps you could try _eating_ your food instead of _inhaling_ it?"

"Wasn't that what I was doing?" Ed frowned and looked back at Roy. Sighing, Roy picks up his fork and takes a small bite of food, proceeded to chew it slowly and then swallowed, all while maintaining eye contact with Ed.

"Like that? You know, small bites, chewing it more then twice before swallowing...?"

What the hell! Roy had not only treated him like a girl _all_ night, he was now talking to him like he was three! Ed drew in a large breath and held it. Tilting his head to the side, he studied Roy, who was watching him warily. He slowly released his breath. "We've been together for a while, right?"

"Yes..."

Turning his head, Ed met Roy's eyes full on. "You could say, you know me pretty well by now, right?" Ed waited for Roy's nod. Roy didn't look happy with him at all, but there was only so much he was going to take, and at least he hadn't jumped on the table and started shouting. Looking down at his meal, Ed picked up his knife and fork, cut one of the small potatoes into an even smaller piece and brought it up to his mouth.

Staring into Roy's eyes in a silent challenge, he made sure to chew the potato three times before swallowing. Placing the knife and fork back on the table, Ed reached out and took a drink of water to wash it all down before continuing with his point. "So, if you know me so well...why are we here where you're trying so hard to change me?"

Roy flinched and looked away. Ed mentally rejoiced at scoring such an awesome point. Being calm seemed to have its advantages. Roy reached out for his bell glass and downed the reaming liquid in one go, before he would meet Ed's steady gaze.

"I'm not trying to _change_ you...I just want you to act..." Roy waved his hand before shaking his head. "While we're in the restaurant..." Roy sighed, and Ed felt a pang of regret that he hadn't just let the matter drop and done as he was told. Damn stupid pride. "Fine...whatever. Act how you want, Ed."

Ed leaned back in his chair, and watched Roy cut off a section of steak. He felt like shit. Why couldn't he ever say anything right? Looking down at his lap, Ed laced his fingers together and squeezed, making his left hand ache with pain. He could almost feel the resentment coming off of Roy in waves.

"Excuse me, I got to go to the washroom," said Ed in his most polite voice, trying to make up for his horrible behavior. He pushed the chair back so that he could stand and then replaced it under the table. Ed stared at Roy as he continued to eat without meeting his gaze.

Shifting his weight to the other foot, Ed forced all emotion from his face. At his movement, Roy finally looked at him, and frowned, his lips in a tight line. Crap! He pushed too much. Rolling his shoulders to ease the tension, Ed simply left without looking back.

Making his way to the bar, Ed stopped a waiter to ask where the bathroom was, and then headed off in the direction indicated. Ed weaved through the dinners and the tables slowly, his hands thrust into his pants pockets. So maybe being calm wasn't enough for a New Year's resolution, maybe he should add tact.

Pushing open the heavy door to the men's washroom, Ed looked around in awe. Beautiful marble counter tops, plush hand towels, free combs, and...aftershave? Okay...that one was a little weird. Ed made sure he was alone and then walked over to the sink to look at himself in the mirror. He might be seventeen but he was acting like idiot, not like an adult at all. Why did Roy want to be with him when he continually caused strife everywhere he went? Especially in Roy's personal life. This was the night from hell.

Hopefully things would be better once they got to the hall. Roy would enjoy that, Ed was sure. He smiled a little at what he had planned. He couldn't wait. Smoothing his hair back over his shoulders, Ed double checked his attire and straightened out his jacket. Satisfied, Ed strolled back to the door.

Looking over the dinning room as he walked, Ed's gaze landed on Roy, who was watching him make his way back. The skin around Ed's eyes tightened with trepidation. He was going to get chewed out for sure, and he deserved it. He pulled out his chair from under the table and took his seat. Ed stared at his lap unable to meet his penetrating gaze.

"Ed..."

Ed lifted his gaze, ready for whatever Roy was going to dish out.

"I'm...I'm sorry."

Ed released the breath he didn't know he was holding. As soon as Roy looked him in the eyes, he felt okay again. Looking down at his plate, he pushed the hair that slid over his shoulder back. "That's alright..." This sensitive stuff was hard, he wanted to tell Roy that it was all his fault and Roy hadn't really done anything, but the words didn't come. To hide his awkwardness, Ed reached out to finally taste his wine.

Roy shook his head at him. "No...it isn't. You're right." Whoa, he was right? Ed didn't know what to make of that. "I have been trying to change you. I guess...I don't really know how to say this, but frankly you've been acting more of an adult tonight then I have. It's...different. I'm used to you blowing up at everything, but you've been rather calm all evening, and..."

Roy picked up his wine glass and scowled at it before replacing it on the table. _Ah, here it comes, he's going to say that he can't take my shit anymore_, fretted Ed. "And?" said Ed, very faintly. Roy ran a hand through his hair and smiled at him, and Ed breathed.

"And...it's rather becoming...You not only look like an adult, you've been acting like one as well, I just didn't recognize it right away. So..." paused Roy, "I hope you'll...forgive...me..."

Holy shit! That was like, an 'apology'. A sarcastic remark really wanted to come out of his mouth to try and lighten the mood. More like their old back and forth banter.

"You know, your hair looks really nice down..." continued Roy.

Looking down at his unfinished meal, Ed chewed on the inside of his lip. "Well...after the phone call...I was thinking...it takes a lot of energy to be mad...so I thought—never mind...thanks, I'm glad you're recognizing the fact that I'm growing up..." Ah, he couldn't resist. "Must suck now that you can't be a pedophile anymore," said Ed, grinning evilly. The comment worked, Roy looked totally taken aback by that.

"Fuck you, Ed."

Ed smiled at the humor in Roy's his voice. That was more like it!

"Are you going to drink that wine or just keep it around for looks?"

Snickering at Roy he picked up the glass and moved it out of his reach. "Just for looks, get your own," said Ed, taking a sip. "How about we get out of here and on to our next stop...I know you're dying to see what I have planned," suggested Ed, smirking. Roy frowned at him.

"I'm only dying to know if it involves you under me moaning and panting, and begging for more."

"It doesn't," said Ed. He frowned. Well there were things that were like that, actually. "Well I suppose you could do something like that...but all those people might take offense." Ed smirked at Roy's unhappy frown. He didn't know how much fun they were in for.

--To be Continued--


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer: I don't own...Willing to marry into the family though.

**Roy's dialog belongs to ZaKai.**

**Chapter 3**

"It's around here somewhere," Ed mumbled, looking down at a small piece paper in his hands. He had scrawled the location very poorly in his haste to copy it from the flyer the other day, and he regretted it now. Nothing to do but fake it. Roy followed a few steps behind him, pouting. Most likely because he didn't get his way.

"So would you like to tell me where we're headed now?"

Ed stopped walking and looked over his shoulder. His warm breath puffed in front of his face in the crisp winter night. "We're going to the Legion," said Ed, smiling at Roy as he looked up in surprise.

"The Legion...that dance hall...? You're not serious"

Ed's grin grew with Roy's disbelieving look. "Oh yeah...can't wait eh!" He knew Roy would like it.

"I don't dance."

_Yeah right_, thought Ed as he shrugged his shoulders at Roy's joke. Ed turned around and continued down the road. "That's okay, you can hold up the wall while I dance with the ladies," Ed taunted. No way would Roy want him dancing with someone else. As they walked, Ed could hear the faint sounds of music and headed in its direction.

"Um...this way I think," said Ed, pointing down a side street. He could just make out the brightly lit facade of a building at the far end, with lots of people milling around. He could even hear the music more clearly. Ed picked up his pace, letting Roy follow as he wanted.

Slowing down at the end of the street, Ed waited for Roy to come up beside him. "This looks like fun," grinned Ed. He wove through the crowd effortlessly. Sometimes he was thankful of his slim, small nature. Only sometimes, and never out loud.

Pulling off his winter dress coat, Ed thrust his hand into his pants looking for the five cens admittance fee and plopped it down on the window for the lady. She ripped off a stub and passed it to Ed, and held out her hands for his jacket, which he passed over. Moving out of the way, he looked back to see where Roy was. He waited for Roy as he paid the same girl he did, and pass his coat over the counter.

"I'm paying..."

Ed snorted at Roy's grumblings as a five cens bill was shoved back into his pocket by Roy. "Contrary to popular belief, my long hair does not make me into a girl..." Roy could be pretty funny sometimes, and he was in too good a mood right now, to let it bother him. Roy just glared at him though.

"You seem rather obsessed with me thinking you're a girl. Trust me, Ed, I'm quite aware of your gender. Since _I_ am supposed to be taking _you_ on a date, I want to open doors for you, and pay for you. I guess I'm just old fashioned that way. If you don't like it, get over it." Roy paused mid lecture, thinking, Ed supposed. "Or does telling someone not to try changing another person only go one way?"

Ed tensed. That's not what he meant to say. Crap! He did it again. Well he'd just play it off then. "Yeah, okay. So when do I get to take _you_ out so you can be the girl," Ed wondered. Leaning in close so he wouldn't be over heard, he whispered. "That means you get to be bottom." _Good fuck_, cursed Ed mentally, that was a hot image. One he wanted to explore fully...and soon. Roy shrugged at him and looked around and then glanced at Ed.

"I don't know. You've never asked me out before. Usually that's what people do when they want to show they're interested in someone."

"Oh...I never?" Geez, Roy was really serious about this. _Maybe he's still peeved at me,_ Ed wondered. Ed's upper body sagged. Frowning, he stuck his auto-mail thumb into his mouth and tried to think of anytime _he'd _actually asked Roy out. It looks like Roy was right. He couldn't even use the excuse that he didn't know better, not with Roy always telling him about manners and such, much to Ed's annoyance.

Well no time like the present. "Well, you wanna go out sometime, then?" asked Ed, looking up into his lover's face. Roy smiled first and then chuckled at him, causing Ed to smile back hopefully.

"I don't know...do you think you can handle taking me out?"

"Tch, what's there to handle? We've been out lots of times. Come on, let's get out of the way." Ed grabbed onto Roy's hand with his left and laced his fingers through Roy's, dragging him into the hall proper. He could hear Roy chuckling behind him and he was glad that the serious mood was gone.

Ed paused once in the hall, his eyes scanning over all the bodies on the dance floor, and the live band playing on a raised stage at the back. There was lots of energy here. Grinning, Ed scanned the edges and saw a bar in the corner. Pulling Roy behind him, he headed over to the line up and pushed Roy into position.

"You didn't have enough wine at the restaurant?" laughed Roy.

"Not for me, for you. I can tell you're tense," said Ed, smiling. Spinning away on the ball of his foot, Ed trotted away. "Be right back," he called over his shoulder.

Peeling off his jacket the moment he was out of sight, Ed hooked his finger around the neck of his coat and threw it over his shoulder. He hastily made the circuit around the perimeter of the hall and quickly found the sandwich table. Loosing his tie he grabbed a few half decent looking sandwiches, and continued around to the other side, stuffing his mouth as he went and finally back to the bar to find Roy.

"You still haven't gotten any drinks!" Ed looked down the line as he came along side of Roy, wondering what the hold up could be.

"Long line." Roy reached out and ran his hand along Ed mouth. "I see you had no such problems getting food."

"Eh?" Ed reached up and ran his hand along his face as well, and grinned up at Roy. "I'm still growing—and don't say anything!" he said, holding up a threatening finger to ward of the immanent short joke he knew must be coming.

"You know, we could skip the line and just go back to my place."

Ed could hear the suppressed desire in Roy's voice and it was on the tip of his tongue to agree. The allure of a dance, a public dance, won out. "Then I couldn't torture you." _And rub up against you, and grab your ass, all on the dance floor,_ Ed finished.

Pulling on Roy's shoulder to make him lean down, Ed whispered in his ear. "No sex until the new year." Ed let his breath ghost the shell of Roy's ear and smirked. Roy stood quickly breaking out of the hold Ed had on his shoulder and glared down at him.

"What?" Roy paused, and then smirked at Ed before leaning down to whisper in his ear. "How about no sex until you can take me out on a successful date."

A delicious shiver worked it way down his back at the touch of Roy's breath on his ear. Roy was teasing him surely. What was 'successful' anyway? Ed motioned for Roy to turn his head so he could whisper back. "The new year's closer...but if you want to wait, fine," said Ed. Bluffing was his specialty. He'd make Roy bend first. Roy had been suggesting it all night long, after all. Shrugging his shoulders Ed took a half step away to show that he could care less about Roy's suggestion. Out of the corner of his eye, he could see Roy stand up and shrug.

"As you wish."

He watched as Roy finally stepped up to the bar and ordered some island tea drink, and pouted. Roy fucking called his bluff, and raised it! Ed moved to the side to wait for Roy. He needed to try to convince Roy not to follow through with his 'successful' date plan. All too soon, Roy was walking towards him with a tall glass in hand. He'd have to wing it.

"So are you going to dance with me or just laze around? There are so many people out there, that no one would notice us," said Ed as he pointed towards the dance floor. So many people out there that on one would notice them groping each other. Roy just shrugged at him and took a drink.

"No, I'll just 'laze' over by the wall watching you try to find someone to dance with. I'm sure I'll find plenty of pleasant company near the wall."

Just like that, Roy walked away from Ed, leaving him feeling lonely. Thrusting out his bottom lip, Ed wondered what he should do now. He could play along he supposed, and dance while Roy did...whatever. This wasn't how it was supposed to be! Ed turned around and punched the wall with his left hand, hard enough to make his knuckles sting.

* * *

Ed moved his dance partner around so he could see what Roy was up to now. Several times he had simply stopped mid-dance, and glared daggers at Roy, and now he was talking up a new woman who was practically in his lap, she was leaning too fucking close. Mumbling some half formed excuse to his dance partner, Ed brushed past and stalked across the hall, ready to give Roy a piece of his mind. If this wasn't a game, he was going to punch Roy in the face.

As he neared the table, he silently commanded the woman to look up at him so he could kill her with his gaze. He must have looked pretty pissed, because a few of the party goers scrambled to get out of his way. He noticed Roy turn his head slightly and he could have sworn that he saw Ed coming, but he turned back to the woman and continued flirting with her.

Coming up behind Roy's chair, Ed stopped and burned holes into the back of Roy's black hair. When he didn't immediately turn around, Ed loudly cleared his throat at him.

Ed's gaze shifted to the woman as she looked first. He narrowed his eyes at her. She _looked_ like she wanted to take Roy home with her...well he wasn't about to let that happen, that's for fucking sure! When Roy finally turned around in his seat to look at him, Ed brought the full weight of his killing stare down on Roy's head. Die!

"Well, Edward, have you been enjoying yourself?"

_He thinks he's so fucking smooth_...seethed Ed. "Not as much as you have bastard," growled Ed. Roy had the gall to smirk at him.

"I don't know, I thought I saw you out there with quite a few nice looking young ladies..."

Ed could feel the blood rushing to his face and he frowned even harder at Roy. "Can I have a WORD. WITH. YOU?" Ed ground out around his clenched teeth. The woman was looking at him still and it was really starting to mess with him. If she kept it up, he was going to tell her _exactly_ what she could do about it.

"Of course," Roy said, and he seemed to grimace at him.

_Good. He knows he's in trouble_, thought Ed. He stretched his neck from side to side when Roy turned back to the woman and started to be all polite, he even touched her on the arm.

"I'm sorry, I have to go now. It was a pleasure talking with you."

Roy stood and looked over at Ed expectantly. Ed leaned to the side and glared at the woman before gripping Roy's arm above the elbow with his auto-mail, and dragged him off. He couldn't resist...looking over his shoulder at the woman he stuck his tongue out at her.

Turning back to the front, Ed hissed at Roy. "Bastard." Ed squeezed the arm in his hand harder, and dragged him towards the entrance to the hall. "Trying to pick up some ass on the side? I saw how you two were leaning into one another."

"You said you were going to dance with the ladies, so I thought I'd keep the ones who weren't lucky enough to dance with you busy."

"You're such a liar," hissed Ed. That fake charm shit would not work on him. Letting go of his hold, Ed turned to face Roy. "I SAW you. You practically had her in your lap."

"Ed, what did you think was going to happen if I stayed on the sidelines? That I'd just magically become invisible? I can't help it that I'm so charming and good looking that the women want to be around me."

_What the hell is this shit he's talking now? _Ed frowned. _Fucking smug bastard._

"Really, Ed, it's your fault for bringing me here and leaving me alone." Roy shrugged.

Ed peeled back his lips and snarled at Roy. Roy was fucking enjoying this? "I just wanted to dance with you, but you were an ass. At least I went to dinner with you."

Roy laughed derisively. "Well, I suppose we're even now aren't we, Ed? Yes, you did come to dinner with me, but you didn't eat," sighed Roy and shook his head angrily. "You should know that I would never cheat on you, or at least I would have hoped that after all this time, you would know me better then that."

Ed cringed at the low blow. He wanted to interrupt but Roy kept going.

"Flirting with women comes naturally to me, so that's what I do, but it doesn't mean anything. If you don't want me to try changing you, then don't try to change me. Did you see me storming out onto the dance floor to stop you from dancing closely with those women?"

What? Ed never danced closely...not on purpose. He might have gotten knocked into a partner or two, but not close. Ed opened his mouth again to say something, and again Roy overrode him, now looking hurt and angry too.

"Try trusting me a little." Roy paused looking down into his eyes. "I'm leaving." Roy declared and quickly walked around Ed and made a bee line for the door.

Ed stared at the spot Roy once occupied, stunned. He had only danced for that long because Roy had basically told him too. Plus he had hoped that if he had waited long enough, Roy would have given in and come find him. Maybe even say that he wanted his dance now...he was more pissed at the fact that Roy didn't come to find him. Of course he trusted Roy, with his life. How could he assume...

The woman he was talking to didn't mean anything, it was just somewhere Ed could direct his anger. As quickly and as hot as he had become at Roy and the woman, he now felt drained. His anger diffused by Roy's misunderstanding of why he was really angry. He just wanted a dance with his lover!

Turning around to face the entrance way, Ed looked around the milling people trying to spot Roy's coat or hair. "The bastard wouldn't really leave...would he?" Ed wondered. Turning back to the dance floor, Ed's mind went blank, trying to figure out what he should do. No matter what, Roy couldn't leave yet. Spinning around, Ed rushed for the door, he had to catch Roy before he left!

"Shit!" mumbled Ed. Roy was just putting on his coat and walking out the front door. Pushing people out of the way, Ed rushed outside and skidded to a stop in the middle of the street, and turned back to look at the hall, trying to spot him in the half light. His breath came out in clouds as he searched. Nearly frantic, Ed turned around and saw Roy entering a park directly across from the hall.

"Roy!" yelled Ed. He launched himself at the older man, trying to catch him before he got too far. "ROY!" Ed shouted. Misjudging the light, Ed's foot landed on a slick patch of ice. His eyes never left Roy's back as he stumbled forward, almost kissing the pavement, but for his auto-mail hand being firmly planted into the ground to keep him upright.

Roy walked past a large wooden jungle gym play unit and out of sight. For some reason, loosing sight of Roy made Ed truly frantic, and he ran faster. Coming around the corner, Ed searched the darkness for Roy's form, walking past the play unit.

Suddenly landing on a large ice patch, Ed's feet flew up into the air, sending him backwards to land on his ass and knocking his head, hard on the ground. He lay there shocked at his new view, and the pain piercing through his head, and more dimly his ass. "...Owww..." groaned Ed, his senses finally kicking in again.

"Very attractive. Your grace never ceases to amaze me."

Ed registered that Roy was talking but couldn't mount the effort right then to respond. Slowly lifting his hand from it's sprawled out position, Ed gingerly felt along the back of his head for any splits or blood, and lifted his hand to where he could see it.

Gravel crunched, coming closer to his prone body, and Roy knelt down beside him. Roy ran his own hands through Ed's hair, looking for damage. He grunted at Ed.

"You're fine. Your head is too hard to do any real damage. I should probably worry about the ground."

Slowly working his arm under him, Ed propped himself up so he could look at Roy from a more comfortable position. His shirt and pants clung damply to his back from lying on the ice, allowing the crisp air to affect him. _Should have grabbed my coat_, he thought. "Roy, I'm sorry, I've been a bitch to deal with all night," he said, looking up into Roy's face so that he could make sure that Roy wasn't about to continue telling him off. Shivering with more then the cold, Ed waited for Roy to answer his apology.

Roy just grunted and stood pulling Ed with him, and then he smiled, and Ed felt like maybe there might be hope. Falling helped...it hurt...but it seems to have helped.

"Those words seem to come more naturally to you then they do to me..." Roy said.

Unwilling to let the idea of continuing their fight enter into Roy's head, Ed stepped forward and threw his arms around his lover's waist rubbed his face into the heavy cloth of Roy's winter jacket. At such close range he was able to inhale Roy's aftershave greedily. The mere whiff of it would make him think all sorts of lewd thoughts. Some of the tension in Ed's body eased as Roy wrapped his arms around him.

"I wish I could say those word so easily...'I'm sorry'...I'm much to proud sometimes to say them..." Roy's hand rubbed comforting circles into Ed's wet, sore back. "You haven't been a bitch all night, but yeah, you've been a handful..."

"Yeah I have..." Of course he'd been a bitch. A proper annoying, childish bitch. "I just wanted to dance with you," whined Ed. Roy stoked his hair as he talked, making him feel a little better about it all.

"You know...I really can't dance..."

Roy's voice rumbled under Ed's ear that rested on his lover's chest, and Ed held on tighter. He had really fucked up tonight. He could have lost all this. It made a bolt of fear lance its way down to his stomach at the mere thought of never being with Roy again.

"I drive better then I dance..."

Ed snorted. Wow, that must be bad. "There's not much to know for a slow dance..." said Ed, talking into Roy chest.

"You say that now. I assume you cherish your remaining foot?"

"Can you sway? You could do that at least, and leave your feet planted," pleaded Ed, looking up finally to see Roy's face. Roy leaned away slightly so that he could look down at him. "How about it?" asked Ed, shivering in the cold. His shirt was definitely getting stiff in the cold air as it began to freeze.

Roy pulled away then, and pulled at the sleeve of his jacket to remove it, and threw it over Ed's much smaller frame. "I guess so," said Roy. "Um...you start..."

Ed rolled his eyes at Roy's unease. "Just hold me like before, okay...my teacher said dancing was like self defense, so she made us learn. This was how I first started." Ed resumed his hold on Roy's waist, and began to sway gently from side to side. Roy stiffened under his lead and then moved with him, slowly. Turning his head to the side, Ed laid his cheek on Roy's chest, enjoying the moment.

"Yeah, I can understand that. I feel like defending myself right now."

Ed snorted and then laughed at Roy's comment. "See, not that hard right?" he asked, without looking up.

"I feel like an idiot..." muttered Roy.

"Well at least you don't look like one," quipped Ed, and closed his eyes.

"TEN!"

Roy stopped swaying, and Ed looked up concerned. "What?" asked Ed, looking up into Roy's face puzzled as to why he stopped.

"NINE!"

"It's the count down. Listen."

Ed turned his head towards the Legion to better catch the sound.

"EIGHT!"

Ed grinned up at Roy.

"How nice of them to shout it just so we'd know."

Grinning back at Roy's smug smirk, Ed thought that maybe this was going to be the best New Year's, ever. "Yeah, we must remember to thank them cuz we're too pig headed to stay inside," said Ed sarcastically.

"SEVEN!"

"Perhaps," murmured Roy, he reached down and to cup Ed's chin lifting it upward.

"SIX!"

Leaning up on his tip toes, Ed closed the distance between them. He was more then ready for a kiss now. In fact, thinking back on it, he didn't get one all night.

"FIVE!"

Roy smiled at him and leaned over at the last moment to place a kiss on Ed's cheek.

"FOUR!"

"You missed..." said Ed, narrowing his eyes.

"I never miss," murmured Roy. He moved across and placed a kiss on Ed's other cheek.

"THREE!"

"Wrong again," murmured Ed, thoroughly enjoying this game regardless. Roy moved forward and placed a kiss on his forehead.

"TWO!"

"Nope..." Ed murmured again, his eyes half closed already. Roy kissed his nose.

"ONE! HAPPY NEW YEAR!"

Roy leaned down and claimed Ed's mouth in a firm kiss. Running his hands up Roy's back, Ed moved his head forward in an effort to show how much Roy meant to him through his lips. Ed could feel Roy smiling somewhat before slipping his tongue into his mouth, making him weak with need.

Groaning at the sensation of Roy's tongue in his mouth, Ed pushed his own tongue into Roy's, but was pushed back again. Roy shifted, and the next thing Ed knew, his awaken groin was being fondled through the cloth of his pants. Gripping on to Roy's broad back, lust and desire to have Roy just rip his clothes off right here made him lean into Roy for support.

Ed dimly noted a tug at his shirt, before a cold hand pinched and rubbed one of his nipples. Breaking the kiss, Ed gasped into the night air. "Roy," Ed moaned his lover's name. "Are we...here?" _Please say yes_, Ed thought. With one final squeeze on his groin, Roy stepped back, smirking at him.

"Of course not. I told you. No sex until you take me out on a successful date."

"What?" To his lust fogged brain, Ed couldn't figure out just what Roy was talking about.

"Remember?" Roy wiggled his finger at him, like he was a bad boy. "No sex until you take me out on a successful date. You agreed to it," sighed Roy. "I guess you'd better turn in your state job for one with the church as some sort of male nun..."

Roy chuckled, making puffs of cloud in the cold, and Ed's jaw dropped. "Really? No sex until my date with you? What's your definition of successful? Let's go on a date right now!" No way was Roy going to do this for real...right? Roy's grin got even wider, making Ed worry for his poor, overactive, teenage libido.

"Well of course, I have to have a good time. You have to make me _want_ to have sex with you. It's a shame you've never dated a woman, Ed. It's a real challenge to get them into bed. You have to know just what they like, and how to talk to them, what to do for them." Roy paused a moment and then grinned. "You remember the date we had where I first got you into bed? It took me quite a while to figure out just what made you tick. Hamburgers and sparing would never have been my first choice, but..." shrugged Roy. "It was perfect date for you."

Throughout Roy little speech, Ed could only stare. He was really fucking serious! Groaning, Ed cradled his head in his hands, blocking Roy from his sight. "That means that I got to take you to a fru-fru restaurant like that one? And you'd want some..." Ed lifted one off his hands of his face waved it vaguely, "sort of gift." Ed looked up at Roy, worried. "And then what else? Um..." It was really hard to think when he was horny.

Roy snickered at him. "Well, I don't know Ed...How well do you really know me? It will all be trial and error."

Ed followed Roy with his eyes as his lover turned and started to head back to the hall. Roy stopped after a few more steps and looked over his shoulder him.

"But remember you said you wanted to be on top. If you want it you're going to have to earn it."

_Stupid shit-eater grin! Only I'm allowed to do that_, Ed mentally cried. He was going to die of blue balls before he would get this right.

"Let's get your coat and get out of here."

"Doh!" whined Ed, loudly. He scrambled after Roy's retreating back, making sure to watch his footing this time. "This sucks!" he yelled across the park.

--To be Continued--

Be sure to check out ZaKai's version of this to see how Roy reacts to Ed!

More angst on the way XD wait for it haha!


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer: I don't own...Willing to marry into the family though.

**Roy's dialog belongs to ZaKai. Be sure to check out Roy's POV for his side of this via my profile XD**

This is no longer 'real time'. We'll be updating as time allows XD so don't forget to leave us a comment, and tell us how we did!

**Chapter 04**

Ed frowned at the papers in his hand. He payed little attention to his surroundings as he traversed the hallways of Central HQ, trying to sort out a very pressing matter. Flipping through the small pile, Ed wiggled a sheet from the rest, placed it on top, and began to mutter to himself as he studied the page. Shaking his head at his notes, he ran a frustrated hand though his already messy bangs, and scowled at the paper.

Edward turned down the hallway on auto-pilot towards the North Central Library. He shuffled through the stack again and pulled out another sheet of paper, comparing it to the top most sheet on his notes as he went. He scowled at the page, and then rolled his eyes.

Suddenly, he stopped dead, remembering that he had a self-appointed appointment. Ed pulled on his chain and clicked open his watch. Cursing savagely under his breath, he spun around, and jogged back the way he had come.

Sliding to a stop outside his destination, with a slight skidding of his boots on the polished floor, Ed quickly tucked the papers in his black dress coat—which he'd taken to wearing it since it was so cold outside, and it offered more insulation against the frigid temperatures. Reaching into his other pocket he took out a pad of paper and a pencil before approaching the girl working at behind the switch board desk. His nosy appearance had not gone unnoticed.

"Hey, ladies, look who's here!" a pretty brunette called over her shoulder, being the first to notice Edward approach.

"Who?" asked a small red head, coming around from behind the status board to see who had come.

"I wanna see!" a youngish voice called out as well. A buxom dark-haired woman followed taking in the visitor.

Trying to fight off the blush that was threatening to sweep across his face, Ed made his feet move to the desk.

"OH! Fullmetal! What can we do for you, honey?" the red head asked, leaning on the counter with her hand and smiling suggestively. She hooked her finger at him beckoning him closer with a small smirk.

Smiling at her nervously, Ed placed his pad on the counter. "Hi...um...I was wondering if you...ladies...could help me with a project."

The brunette leaned into the counter with her hip and smiled. "I wonder what type of _project_ he has in mind that would involve three sexy ladies, hmm?" This sent the other two into twittering laughter, causing Ed to blush at the innuendo.

"Ooh! I hope he's going to ask us all to participate," giggled the red head.

Ed laughed mechanically, fighting the desire to run from here, which would only make it worse.

The dark-haired woman leaned on the counter with her elbows, framing her amble assets for him to see. "I bet he likes big girls best, don't you hot stuff?" she purred suggestively.

"Uh...well, um, ladies...? I was hoping that you could...um...tell me about some of Mustang's..." Ed could feel the sweat trickling down his spine. He was going to die from mortification, he knew it. Damn it! Bloody fucking Mustang. "What I mean is--"

"Oooh! Are you going to play a prank on the colonel?" the brunette asked, suddenly excited.

"Yeah, the scuttlebutt around base is that you do that quite often," the buxom woman said, grinning evilly.

"The colonel is hot," the red head said wishfully.

"I think Fullmetal's pretty hot too," the brunette said, making her voice light and teasing as she smiled, leaning over the counter to tap Ed's nose.

"Uh, yeah." Leaping onto their misinterpretation, Ed launched into his spiel. "So, I wanna know everything about Mustang and what he does on his dates for my prank." He picked up his pencil and looked expectantly at the three woman, who matched his wide grin. "Where he takes women, what he says...everything."

Half an hour later, Ed was making his way back to the library. The women hadn't reveled anything he hadn't already learned. It seemed that Roy had not demonstrated any preferences of his own when taking out a date, preferring to tailor the experience to the person he was courting at the time. Which meant more work for him. Ed made a guttural sound, and glared down the hall. Why did Roy have to be so damn hard to fucking read? This was torture plain and simple, and he wasn't sure how much longer he could take this.

Making his way to his usual table in the very back of the library reserved for alchemists, Ed plopped down in his seat, making the pine chair creak under his weight. The table's surface was already covered with his other research; some pertaining to on going research into clandestine uses for alchemy, and the rest, his investigative work on Roy. Pulling his papers from his jacket pocket, he began to try and sort out a pattern that might give him a clue about what Roy would want for a date. Not as easy a task as he first thought.

Leaning heavily on the table top with his elbows, Ed cradled his head in his hands. Staring at his papers, he thrust out his bottom lip. Three weeks of Roy avoiding him and sending him bizarre signals that he didn't know what to make of, plus lack of sex was starting to make him rush to finalize his plans. He couldn't stand another week of this hell. He only hoped that Roy's strange behavior wasn't an indication of his waning interest in him.

Leaning on the table he began to draw a digram of all the similar things Roy had done in the past. Suddenly, a pair of hands blocked out the library and its surroundings.

"HOLY FUCKING SHIT!" cursed Ed, jumping in fright, making the table rattle as his thighs bounced off of it. His hands flew up to pull at the arms, and he twisted in his chair to see who startled him so badly. Roy's grinning face hovered over him.

With a flick of the wrist, Roy reversed Ed's hold on him and pulled Ed around in the chair so that his back pressed against the edge of the table awkwardly. Ed's eyes widened as Roy claimed his lips in a demanding kiss, leaving Ed to try and keep up.

"Roy?" mumbled Ed around Roy's mouth.

"I didn't know you liked it rough..." murmured Roy.

Ed yanked his hands away from Roy's grasp, and at the same time tried to push him away. He didn't want Roy to see his notes! Smirking at him, Roy reached down to quickly fondle his groin before moving away. _Fuck, Roy is such a bloody tease_, cursed Ed, his groin twitching at the promise of more satisfying relief.

"I see you're working hard as usual. I have some papers that need to be gone through too. Perhaps while you're at it..."

Spinning around in the chair, Ed swept all his notes together in one large messy pile, constantly throwing looks over his shoulder to make sure Roy wasn't peeking at what he'd been working on. "Sure, sure..." Ed said absentmindedly, trying to get his breathing under control. "Um, place them over there," He pointed vaguely at the other end of the table.

"I was just joking, Ed," said Roy, chuckling. "I'd never have you do my work..."

Ed's heart skipped a beat when Roy leaned down to kiss the side of his ear, sending another jolt of expectation to his groin.

"What are you working on? You're usually not so easily surprised and flustered." Ed looked up to see Roy leaning over his shoulder at the table below.

"Nothing! Who said I was working on anything?" Ed lunged forward, huddling over his work to hide it from Roy. He moved any piece of paper that was still sticking out further under his arms. "What are you doing here? Skipping out on work? I'm busy here!" snapped Ed, he could feel his face heat up and spread across his cheeks and up to his ears. He shrugged Roy off his shoulder, hoping that he wouldn't question him too closely as to why he was blushing so hard.

"I'm not..._skipping_ out on work...just...taking a break. You know we do get breaks."

Ed watched warily as Roy moved over to the other side of the table and pulled out a chair to sit on. Feeling decidedly safer now that Roy wasn't hovering over him, he tapped the papers into a neat pile.

"Hakuro seems to think that I have all the time in the world to work on some of the pointless things he sends my way."

"That sucks..." answered Ed, distracted with his own problems. Mainly, what to do about this date. Flipping over the stack of 'Mustang' research, he picked up a heavy looking book and placed it on top. "So, what did you want?" wondered Ed glancing at Roy before running a hand through his bangs and sagging in his chair. It was easier to be around his boyfriend knowing that he wouldn't see what he was working on.

"That's not anything illegal is it?"

Ed snorted at the ridiculousness of Roy's concern. "No," said Ed in annoyance, shooting a glare at Roy. "But I am busy, so..." he trailed off, quirking an eyebrow at Roy in a silent demand to hurry up and get to the point. Actually, he was feeling the all too familiar stirrings from Roy's nearness, and it was making him...squirmy.

Like, why would Roy fondle his groin, and then turn around and say he was busy? Kiss him like he had just done, and then get all business like on him. For the past three weeks this strange behavior had begun to really play with his mind, and he couldn't think of a good way to broach the subject. It was really starting to make him worry.

Roy was giving him 'the look', like he didn't believe a word he was saying, and began to shake his head at him. Leaning forward so Roy couldn't see what he was doing he adjusted himself so he was in a more comfortable position, as his groin slowly twitched to life. He watched as Roy reached into his pocket and pulled out a piece of paper and unfolded it.

"I need you to do some research on this, and report to me on it in a week. I need an official written report, and you should be ready to give an oral report if General Hakuro should request it."

"Great." Ed leaned over the table and took the paper from Roy, looking down at the research he had to do. "Are we done?" Ed asked anxiously, looking back up at Roy. He wanted to calm down and he couldn't do that with him so near.

Roy frowned at him and then glanced over at his stash under the book. His eyes slid back over to him and he nodded. Ed could only hope that he wouldn't push the issue. He'd die if Roy saw what he'd been up too. He knew how'd he react if he found out Roy was researching him—not like he hadn't done something like that already, seeing as how he seemed to know what he was up too when ever he was out in the field, but this was a different. Roy pushed himself up from the chair, and folded his arms across his chest, giving Ed a suspicious glance. Ed met his gaze and had to resist the urge to shift guiltily in his chair.

Shaking his head, Roy waved casually and walked away. Sighing, Ed lifted the book off his research, and began to shift through his paper. They were most likely horribly mixed up now, and he would have to spend fifteen minutes restoring order to his work. Feeling grumpy now that Roy had caused him a minor set back, he placed his work on the table.

"Oh, and Ed..."

"Eep!" _Shit!_ cursed Ed. _Did he see_? His back went rigid and he couldn't bring himself to turn to look at Roy, hoping against hope that he wasn't over his shoulder right now.

"Okay... What the hell are you working on?"

"Fuck off!" hissed Ed, gathering up his research to his chest. Scrambling to get out of his chair, Ed turned, keeping an eye on Roy as he backed away from him. "This isn't for you!" warned Ed, blushing full force now, not realizing the slip. Roy scowled at him.

"Ed, let me see those," Roy said, holding out his hand for the papers. He advanced on Ed forcing him to move back or else be in range should Roy strike.

"NO!" Ed yelled, thrusting the papers behind his back. "If you come any closer...I'll...I'll hit you." Feeling truly frantic, Ed backed his way into the corner. He didn't want to hit Roy, but he wasn't giving him any options here, and there was no way in FUCKING HELL he was going to show Roy what he'd been up too, it was just too fucking embarrassing.

Roy stopped, surprised, and then scowled at him. "Major, I'm ordering you to hand over those papers." Roy paused, "Now."

"No! I won't!" Ed said again, shaking his head so hard that his braid moved with him. He glared at Roy definitely. He'd follow through; he would hit Roy if he had to.

Roy suddenly laughed, breaking the tension just a little. Ed watched him warily, wondering what he was up too.

"Come on, hand them over," said Roy waving impatiently with his hand, still chuckling.

Pressing his lips, Ed did the only other thing he could think of. Rolling up the papers once more, he thrust them into his black jacket, quickly clapped his hands and touched his jacket making it momentarily shimmer. Smirking up at Roy in victory, Ed said, "What papers?"

"Not amusing, Fullmetal. You know that is defying a direct order from your superior officer," said Roy irritably, letting his hand drop back to his side.

_Ah, fuck_! cursed Ed mentally. He hadn't thought about that. Shifting weight from foot to foot, Ed frowned, trying to think of a way out of this without having to show his notes. "It has nothing to do with you...er." Damn, why don't I just tell him what I'm doing? _Stupid_. "...With the military. Just drop it...please."

Roy rubbed a hand over his forehead and then just stared at him. Maybe...he could get out of this. "Just let it go, Mustang. Go back to work before Hawkeye finds you. You're...distracting me," said Ed, shifting again in growing arousal. He dropped his eyes to the floor, no longer able to look Roy in the eyes. In those dark, dark eyes...

Ed's eyes went round as he saw Roy's feet come closer to him, making his heart beat faster in anticipation. He sensed Roy lean in and he looked up into Roy's face, breathless.

"I have a legitimate reason for begin here," said Roy, leaning in to place a kiss along Ed's ear, causing pleasant shivers to tingle throughout his body. "I'm sorry that you're easily distracted," whispered Roy. "Perhaps we should have a discussion about this in my office..."

Roy seemed to consider him for a moment before he pulled away, making Ed feel the loss of his closeness acutely.

"But that will have to be another day," Roy said in business mode now. "Okay, Fullmetal, I'll let it drop for now, but it better not be something I'm going to have to cover your ass for later."

"You like covering my ass," Ed said saucily, smirking at Roy. He was feeling very naughty right now, and only hoped that Roy would be too...because any more of this and...well, Ed wasn't sure what he'd do, but this couldn't last.

Roy quirked an eyebrow at him, and the corner of his mouth twitched as if he was fighting not to smile. "Some types of ass covering are better then others," he conceded.

Pushing himself away from the wall he was leaning against with his shoulder, Ed pressed his own very acutely aroused body into Roy's. Grabbing Roy's ass he made sure that there was no space between them. His heart was beating so fast now, that he was sure that it would burst through his chest. "You could cover it...tonight..." whispered Ed.

Sighing heavily, Roy backed away from Ed, breaking his hold on him. Ed let his hands fall heavily back to his side and leaned back into the wall, frowning at the man in front of him. _What the fuck_...Ed wondered. It was things like this that made him really, _really_ wonder what the hell was going on in Roy's head.

"Sorry I'm busy tonight... Maybe another night...?"

"Yeah...sure..." said Ed uncertainly. He tried to make his face as neutral as possible. "Whatever you say," he said in growing annoyance. Brushing past Roy, he re-claimed his seat and folded his arms across his chest. From the corner of his eye, Ed could see Roy pull out his watch and click open the cover to check the time.

"I'd better go. I have a meeting in fifteen minutes. Give me a call sometime, or something, and maybe we can get together, Ed."

Ed would not look at Roy as he crossed over to him to place a kiss on the top of his head, and without saying anything else, left. Listening to the retreating sound of Roy's boots, Ed began to breathe heavily, but this time in anger. What else could Roy be up to if not sleeping around on him? This 'successful' date thing was likely a ploy to keep him around and willing while he was out playing the bloody fucking field!

All the bizarre push/pull mind games Roy was doing to him...what other explanation was there? Furiously, Ed clapped his hands and touched his jacket undoing the transmutation, pulling out the papers he'd fought so hard to keep hidden; he suddenly didn't want to have anything to do with them.

He had wasted days on this. DAYS! His stomach twisted in fear, making him feel sick and nauseous. Frowning at the papers, Ed abruptly stood, causing the chair to scrape across the floor. Walking over to the small trash can at the other end of the room, Ed let the papers fall from his hand to land how ever they would.

"Asshole!" mumbled Ed, walking away with his hands deep in his pants pockets.

* * *

Ed was in a proper rage, just like when he was younger. It almost felt as good as a night of awesome sex, being this angry. He was charged up. He felt powerful. He felt like nothing could hurt him, and nothing would, he'd make sure of that. He'd been so angry that he couldn't get to sleep at all, so he'd spent his time working on the report for Mustang.

After he left the library yesterday, early in the day, he had paced the city trying to sort out what was going to happen with them. That unfamiliar spark of fear continued to plague him, and even though he hadn't eaten since lunch, his stomach rebelled at the mere thought of food. It came and went, the fear, but when it came hard, the pain it caused to his stomach was bad. It would double him up, making him clutch at his belly in agony.

By the time he waltzed back to his dorm room, he was tired of being afraid and had started to get mad. Somewhere in the wee hours of the night, after working on the report, Ed had decided that he wasn't going to call Roy by his first name anymore. He was going to be as cool as Ro—Mustang was being to him. It was probably a pretty childish thing to do, but he really didn't feel up to being reasonable. He had even come in late for work, not that anyone had truly noticed, as he was still pretty independent when it came to being here, but still, it felt good to stay at home and make his silent protest.

Adjusting the folder to rest more firmly under his left arm, Ed glared at anyone who'd dare look at him. It gave him inordinate amounts of pleasure to see the hapless people he locked eyes with turn quickly away. He liked that. A lot.

Rounding the corner, Ed stalked up the hall toward Mustang's offices. He'd come at this time on purpose because he really didn't want to run into any of his staff just in case he started hitting Mustang. Not that he had specific plans on hitting him, but if the need arose... Everyone would be on lunch except for Mustang, who usually waited until later to eat, the perfect time.

Just as he hoped, the office was empty of any of Mustang's staff. Stomping over to the door, Ed kicked as hard as he could, sending the barely open door crashing into the wall with a loud ringing bang. Despite all the noise, Mustang didn't even look up. Fucking...dammit! Ed's stomach squirmed in protest at the sight of him sitting behind his desk.

"Good morning, Fullmetal. In a good mood today, I see..."

Rage surged through him anew, making him unable to form a reply. Without a word, Ed stomped over to the desk and threw down the report haphazardly. As he spun around on the heel of his foot, he mumbled, "Fuck off..."

"Wait," Mustang said using his commanding voice.

Sighing with exaggerated annoyance, Ed stopped. "What?" he demanded, not bothering to turn around to look. Paper shuffled behind him.

"What is this?"

"Your report," Ed practically spat at the man, his voice hard with anger.

"Obviously." Ed's eyes narrowed at the sneer he could hear in Mustang's voice. "But it isn't due for a week."

Oh, how Ed wanted to yell at Mustang and demand to know that the hell was going on with them, but he was much too pissed to actually act on that particular thought at the moment.

"This is a _research_ report, Fullmetal. I don't care how smart you are, these things take time. This is..." Papers shuffled. "Very sloppy work. I'm not giving that to the general. You're going to have to redo it."

Snarling, Ed pivoted and swiftly traversed the distance to Mustang's desk to snatch the folder up from where it was placed. "Fine," he growled. He briefly met Mustang's gaze, giving him a sour look, and then he was heading back for the door again.

"Wait," Mustang said, again with his commanding tone of voice.

Ed stopped, silently berating himself for obeying. He could hear Mustang's chair scrape along the floor, and he soon walked into his peripheral vision making for the door. Ed followed his movements warily as Mustang closed the door and leaned against it with folded arms, blocking his path.

"What's going on?" Mustang asked quietly.

Meeting Mustang's stare with one of his own, Ed clench his jaw, making his teeth grind. "Is there anything else, _Colonel_ Mustang?" Ed poured all his contempt into Mustang's title, leaving little room for doubt on where he stood. Only an idiot would have missed the implications, and luckily Mustang wasn't an idiot.

Mustang met his gaze for several moments, his expression unreadable before he moved away from the door. "No, I guess not. Dismissed," he said moving back to his desk.

For a moment, Ed could only stand there. He was hoping for a fight and Mustang wasn't going to play that way with him it seemed. He almost turned around...to do what, he wasn't sure. Glancing over his shoulder, at the man sitting behind the desk, Ed's anger left him, making him feel vulnerable and allowing his gut to twist painfully. Facing forward again, Ed made his feet move out of the office.

Somehow, without his knowing how he got there, Ed was out on the street standing in front of a public phone. The desire to call his brother in Rizembool was almost to much to bear. He hadn't talked to Al in a while now. Truth be told, he didn't want to intrude. Now that Al had his body back, a romance had started between him and Winry. He knew that marriage couldn't be that far now... Turning away from the phone, Ed continued down the street, wondering aimlessly.

It was times like this when he wished for someone he could turn too for advice. He'd never bring his concerns to anyone within the military. That left his teacher, Al, and maybe a few others, all of whom weren't even in Central at the moment.

As the early dusk started to settle over Central, and the cold started to make his auto-mail ache painfully, Ed made his slow way back to the military dorms for the night. He passed a few delis on his way home, but the thought of eating turned his stomach. He knew he should eat something, and soon, because he hadn't eaten since yesterday at lunch... Shaking his head, Ed moved on. _Fuck it_, he thought. He just wasn't up to eating right now. He'd get something tomorrow.

Dragging himself up the front steps of the dorm, Ed trudged down the hall to his room, closing the door firmly behind him. He shivered with the clinging cold that hung around his clothing. He knew he should take a shower to warm up, easing the strain on his muscles from his auto-mail; instead, he kicked off his boots, dropped his coat to the floor, and crawled under the blankets fully clothed.

--To be continued--

Don't forget to check out Roy's POV written by ZaKai. A link to her profile can be found on MY profile.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer: I don't own...Willing to marry into the family though.

**Roy's dialog belongs to ZaKai. Be sure to check out Roy's POV for his side of this via my profile XD**

**Chapter 05**

Jerking awake, Ed looked down his bed at the door and the insistent knocking. He hadn't realized that he'd dozed off, so it was a bit confusing to find himself being woken up. Throwing back the blankets, Ed pulled his watch out from his pocket and clicked open the cover to see that it going on eleven o'clock.

Bewildered, Ed padded over to the door and cracked it open. Blinking into the bright hallway, Ed frowned at the sergeant in front of him. "Yes?" he croaked, his voice raspy from sleep.

"Sir, you have a phone call," the man said, pointing to the phone down the hall.

"Okay, be there 'n a minute," Ed informed the sergeant, closing the door. Swatting at the light switch to turn on the overhead, Ed fumbled to put his boots on. He felt so disoriented and...confused. His brain seemed to be stuck in sleep mode, and he couldn't understand why he was getting a call at this time of night.

Wiping the sleep out of his eyes, Ed opened his dorm door without bothering to close it and trudged down the hall to the communal phone. He noted with slight confusion, and not a little bit of humor, that the shelf that he broke on New Years had finally been replaced. The military was really fast...if three weeks later could be called fast, but maybe with a large organization, that was fast...guh! His mind was not up to figuring out the finer points of the bureaucracy machinations right now.

The receiver was resting on the top of the phone box making Ed have to reach up to slightly and pull it towards him. Sighing because he had to still reach up even though he was almost eighteen, and he so too grew! Inches counted! Ed fitted the phone to his ear. "Yeah?"

"_Ed?"_

_What the...Roy_? he wondered. The voice in his ear sounded slurred and weak, making Ed wonder what Roy was doing. "Ah...yeah? Roy? Are you...drunk?" he asked, incredulously. He'd _never_ seen Roy drunk, but then how could he explain how shitty Roy sounded right now. There was a pause, and Ed wondered if he was even still there.

"_No...I've just had a little bit, but I'm not drunk."_

"Okay..." Ed smirked uncertainly at Roy assertion of his state of mind. Clearly he didn't know that he did _sound_ drunk. "If you say so..." Ed conceded. He leaned back into the wall to stare vaguely at the front doors. Very few people were ever around at this time of night during the week, so he had the hall to himself.

"_I just wanted to talk to you..."_

Roy trailed off into silence, as if he wanted to say more, but stopped himself. "Okay...so...um...here I am..." He let his confusion show in his voice, hoping to get an answer on why Roy had decided to drink himself silly. Ed frowned at the wall opposite him, when Roy began to mumble incoherently. "What's that? I didn't make that out?"

"_It's...it's nothing... You know...you have such a nice voice." _

"Thanks." Ed quirked an eyebrow, folding his free hand up across his chest to hook in the crook of his arm holding the phone. "Yours ain't so bad either when you're not yelling at me," said Ed. Roy chuckled pleasantly in his ear, making Ed hold his breath at the seductive quality of Roy's voice.

"_Even when you're yelling, I think you have a nice voice...but it's better when you're not yelling. I guess that's why I wanted to hear your voice tonight..."_

Blinking at the wall, Ed titled his head into the phone. He could just make out the sound of glass on glass. Maybe he should just ask Roy about his behavior and attitude towards him. He didn't seem to be pushing him away right now, and he guessed Roy to be at home, so he wasn't out _tonight_ with someone else. Ed found himself secretly wishing that Roy hadn't gone out at all over the last three weeks, with anyone. What would he do if he found out that Roy was cheating on him. He couldn't even imagine. He really hoped he was wrong about that.

"Uh...Roy?" Now that he'd decided to ask, he didn't know how.

"_Hm..."_

Ed had to hurry, Roy sounded like he'd fall asleep any second now. "Don't you lik—never mind...I mean...well...are you seeing—fuck! What are you doing?" Ed finished lamely. He just couldn't do it. If he put it out there, then he'd have to get an answer, and he might not like what he heard. His stomach lurched painfully again, reminding him of his anxiety. He was such a chicken!

"_Listening to your voice... I miss you."_

Ed's gut rolled, and he frowned in pain.

"_You've been so distant lately...and I'm not sure..."_

Ed paused as those words sunk in. "I'm distant! What about you, bastard! You've been giving me the fucking cold shoulder since New Years! What the fuck!" Ed yelled, uncaring if he woke up anyone in the other dorm rooms or not. He pushed himself away from the wall, and paced as far as the cord would allow. He breathed hard in anger while waiting for Roy's response.

The longer it took for Roy to respond the more he fretted. Why was he taking his time to answer? What was Roy hiding from him? Could he really have someone on the side? Ed frowned at the floor, and his gut twisted painfully.

"_You were supposed to ask me out...remember? I've been waiting..."_

_Oh shit...Roy... _Ed closed his eyes in shame. _I'm such an ass..._ he silently berated himself. How could he ever doubt Roy.

"_I thought the no sex thing would remind you...but I guess not... It doesn't matter, Ed. Just...never mind. I think I'm going to go to bed now. I'm not feeling very good."_

"Wait!" Ed yelled into the phone, but he was too late. The connection ended. Quickly hanging up the phone, Ed fished through his pockets for the money to call Roy back. Finding the appropriate coin, he lifted the receiver and dialed Roy's number. He let it ring for five whole minutes before depressing the cradle and summoning an operator.

He drummed his fingertips on the small shelf as he waited impatiently for the operator to pick up. What was taking them so damn long. He should complain to the telephone company and tell them how shitty their service is. Shifting his weight from foot to foot, Ed glared at the rotary wheel. He was just about to hang up and try again with the phone clicked.

"_Yes, honey?"_ a bored female voice asked.

"I'm having trouble connecting. Could you try for me," he pleaded. He knew he sounded very much like a kid right now, but he couldn't help it.

"_Of course, dear," _the operator said, seeming to sound much more concerned in response to the tone of his voice.

After a moment the phone began to ring again. Two minutes passed before the operator cut back in.

"_I'm sorry, no one's answering."_

"Okay..." Ed replaced the receiver, his hand continuing to rest on the handle. He should go over there tonight, but...he didn't want to walk all across town. He felt drained and tired. All this emotional stuff really leached all his energy. If he waited until tomorrow he could talk to Roy at the office.

Letting his hand slip away from the phone to fall bonelessly at his side, Ed turned around and dragged his feet back to his room. Closing the door with a gentle shove, Ed leaned into it and closed his eyes. Letting his head rest on the flimsy wood, he kicked off his boots to parts unknown, and reached out blindly for the light switch.

With a small growl, he cracked open his eyes when he couldn't seem to locate it, and found that he was way off his mark and patting the wall well below the switch. Plunging the room into darkness, Ed trudged across the floor, pealing away clothes as he went. Sliding back under the now cold blankets in only his boxers, he sighed. He didn't want to be thinking about all of _this_ right now...his brain was too tired to process it all; at least for the moment.

Rolling over to his side to face the wall, Ed tucked his hands under his chin and curled his legs up into his chest, relieving the constant gnawing pain in his stomach. Somehow he convinced his body to let him rest and he fell into a fitful sleep.

* * *

Ed walked down the hall of Central HQ an hour after after the offices opened at seven. The few officers that knew of his preference to come in later, did a double take to see him here, but he brushed past them on his way to Roy's office. He planned on apologizing to Roy for being an ass yet again. _Why on earth did Roy put up with me_? He wondered.

Stepping into Roy's outer office, his eyes found and locked onto Riza's as she stood to look at him.

"Edward?" She looked at him quizzically, unused to seeing him here at eight o'clock in the morning.

"Hey, is Mustang 'round?" Ed asked without waiting for an answer he crossed the floor, heading towards Roy's door.

"He's not in there," she said softly.

"Eh?" Ed grunted, turning around to look at her again. "Where is he then? Getting coffee?" He made to leave to head down to the break room.

"Not there either, Edward," Hawkeye said.

"Well, where then," he said throwing his hands up in agitation and whirling around to glare at Hawkeye.

"He's called in sick, and I've already confirmed that he is indeed too ill to be here today."

"He's sick?" he said softly, frowning. Hawkeye nodded and turned back to her work. "Well, fuck," he mumbled under his breath as he left the office. He let his feet take him where they willed it as his mind engaged in what he should do now. With Roy gone, how could he apologize? Maybe...he could go over to his house, and make him listen to what he had to say...

Roy had constantly told him how to act, manners, and such, but he'd never gave much stock to it...maybe it was time to tune in and show that he could be an adult about this relationship. Raking a hand through his bangs, Ed sighed.

This 'togetherness' was really hard. It was easy when it was just him, and he didn't have to worry about how what he said and did might affect someone's feelings. Although there was some very..._nice_ perks associated with being in a relationship, such as cuddling. Who knew that cuddling would be so addictive and...

Sighing again, Ed stopped in front of a row of windows looking out onto the front walk of Central HQ. He _craved_ touch, and didn't want anyone but Roy to be the one to touch him. Over the six months that they had been together, Ed found himself...sinking...it was the only way he could explain it. Maybe it was love, maybe not, he wasn't sure, and asking Roy about it was out of the question. He would not put himself on the line like that. He was reckless, but not _that_ reckless.

Leaning his elbows on the window sill, Ed let his forehead rest on the cold panes of glass. He should bring something as a peace offering, to show that he wasn't really mad with Roy. He was just confused by Roy's actions towards him, but what could he bring?

He'd figure it out on the walk over. It wasn't as cold as it has been the last few weeks, so he wouldn't mind the exercise, and on the way maybe he'd think about what to bring. Satisfied with his plan of action, Ed pushed off the window and continued towards the front entrance.

* * *

The coffee was almost too hot to carry in his left hand, but Ed made do. If he got distracted while holding it in his right hand he might unconsciously crush the cup and make a fine mess. Many people didn't realize that auto-mail took a lot of concentration to control as well as he did. If he was holding something delicate he could, and had, break whatever was in his hand at the time if he became distracted with other things around him. It was just lucky that he was such a fine alchemist and could repair anything he'd inadvertently broke.

Banishing his musing to contemplate for another day, Edward hurried down the sidewalk to Roy's apartment. Leaping up the front steps, Ed transferred the paper bag from his right to his left hand and brought up his gloved auto-mail to strike the door, knocking three times. When he couldn't immediately hear the sound of Roy's footsteps behind the door, he knocked again, this time more insistently.

Growing frustrated from standing outside when it was warm inside, Ed banged again. "Roy, open up dammit! I know you're in there!" he called through the door, pitching his voice loud enough to carry through the wood. He was about to continue his banging when the door was pulled open abruptly.

Roy blinked at him blearily and squinted against the early morning sunshine. Lifting his index finger up to his lips, he silently shushed Ed and moved aside to allow him to enter.

Ed snorted in humor at Roy. "Why are you telling me to be quiet? It's not like you have anyone over." Ed smirked at Roy as he pulled the door closed. "Here, I don't know if you feel like it, but I got you coffee and a muffin," said Ed as he moved confidently into the kitchen, feeling comfortable enough in Roy's house to do so without permission.

Roy hissed at him from behind as he trailed after Ed. The clunking of his boots over the hardwood floors reminded him that he'd forgotten to remove his boots when he'd entered...oops! Maybe Roy wouldn't notice the slip.

"Very thoughtful..." whispered Roy. Ed glanced over his shoulder and paused. He watched as Roy leaned back into the wall looking quite green.

"What's wrong with you? Did you catch the flu?" Ed wondered, frowning. Without waiting for Roy to answer, he placed the coffee and muffin on the kitchen counter and turning, hopped up to sit slouched with his arms on his thighs.

Roy glanced at the coffee resting beside his left thigh, and then up into Ed's face. A small smile tugged at Ed's lips in sympathy. Shuffling forward slowly, Roy took the paper cup gingerly in his hand, and took a cautious sip.

"Thanks," whispered Roy. Smiling slightly, he mumbled, "I'm going back to bed."

Ed frowned as Roy turned around with the coffee and staggered towards the hallway. Was Roy...where was he going? He still hadn't said anything to apologize yet. "Well, wait!" Ed called out in near panic, raising his hand out as if to stop Roy from leaving him here on the kitchen counter. "Are you kicking me out?"

Wincing, Roy turned back to face him. "I'm not kicking you out; I just need to lay down... You don't have to stay in the kitchen... Just...just _whisper_..."

Watching Roy's slow progress around the corner, Ed finally launched himself off the counter to land with a thunk. Ed trailed behind Roy to stand in the doorway of the bedroom. The blinds were firmly turned against the sunlight, and as an added measure, a dark blanket had been thrown over them to decrease the chances of any wayward shafts of light from finding their way into Roy's sanctuary.

Roy shuffled over to his bed, and plopped down on the edge of the mattress next to the nightstand. Pushing a glass and a half empty bottle of whiskey aside, Roy set the coffee down. Swinging his legs around, Roy lay back into the center of the mattress with a sigh.

"Why were you drinking last night?" asked Ed, his voice made soft as he whispered. "Something happen?" Ed looked down at Roy as he crossed the room, studying his profile. Turning his attention to the bottle of whiskey, Ed shook his head at what Roy had foolishly done to himself.

"Ed... I don't know. I don't really remember. I remember the first couple of drinks, I usually have at least one at the end of the day, two if it's a bad day, but really, after that I don't remember."

"Hmm..." acknowledged Ed, not meeting Roy's eyes as he tried to figure out what could have possibly have gone through Roy's head last night. He found that he didn't want to think and theorize right now. "Um...Roy? Do you..." _How the hell do people deal with this shit_, thought Ed in frustration. Why couldn't they just _know_ what the other person was thinking so that the struggle to get along wouldn't be such a...struggle!

Heaving a mighty sigh, Ed ran his left hand through his bangs. The only thing he wanted was to be in Roy's arms, but he was worried about how the older man would act if he asked him. _Dammit! I'm not a wuss!_ he told himself. Just do it! "Can I lay down with you?" he asked uncertainly. He didn't care that a note of pleading wormed its way from him. He wanted the reassurance of touch to re-establish their relationship.

"I would like that..." whispered Roy.

Trying to hide the overwhelming wash of relief at not being turned away, Ed's mouth quirked upwards on one side; the only open display he couldn't control. Sitting on the edge of the bed, he kicked off his boots and pulled off his jacket, dumping it unceremoniously on the floor. Lying next to Roy, Ed buried his face in the other man's neck, inhaling his unique scent.

"I really missed this... Why are you being so mean to me lately?" questioned Ed. He hadn't meant to ask that. It just spilled out. He'd just wanted to enjoy the warmth Roy had to offer...but since it was out there now, he was eager to hear what Roy would say.

"Me?" Roy muttered, tightening his arms around Ed. "Who is it who has been yelling and stomping around?"

"Yeah, but why are you all, like...I don't know...weird all of a sudden; pushing me away and shit. I don't get it, what'd I _do_?" The last word came out slightly cracked and full of emotion, but Ed didn't seem to notice. He hid his face within Roy's shoulder and neck, unable to meet Roy's eyes. His stomach twisted in nervous expectation for his answer.

The soothing motion of Roy's hand on his back seemed inconsistent with what Ed feared might come out of Roy's mouth. He was afraid that Roy wasn't really into to this as much as he was. Afraid that Roy was just using him. He was just afraid, and it was irrational fear...he hoped.

"I..." began Roy. Ed felt him stir slightly. "I wasn't..." Roy twisted, and placed a kiss on Ed's forehead, making Ed close his eyes and lean into the gesture as Roy then rested his chin on Ed's forehead. "I was waiting for you to pursue me, to ask me out, like we'd talked about," said Roy, chuckling ever so softly. "But it just never happened. I thought maybe you decided it was too much trouble, or maybe if you weren't getting any sex then it wasn't worth your time. I didn't mean for you to feel pushed away..."

"Shithead..." mumbled Ed, his voice full of relief. "I didn't think that you'd stop wanting to be around me, I just thought it'd all be the same 'cept for the sex... You really fucked with my mind you know that?" confessed Ed, leaning back to look into Roy's eyes for a second before burrowing back into the pale neck, gobbling up his smell. He reached over and worked his hand under Roy's pajama top to rub the skin there. It wasn't even a thought out gesture, but one born of habit and familiarity.

"I never stopped wanting to be around you. The longer I didn't have you, the more I wanted you..." Roy sighed, and then moaned. "At least I got to fuck with something that was you..."

"Phft!" snorted Ed. He couldn't help it. It was just so unexpected. "Can you, like, not be a pervert for two minutes please," chuckled Ed. "So...I did try to plan a date..." said Ed after a moments pause. "The other day, that's what I was working on when you surprised me." The hand under Roy's shirt worked its way a little lower...fucking eh? It was getting hard not to think about that while Roy was so close. Ed smirked and fought half heartily against his body's reaction to the new idea that had been planted.

"That's a lot of paper to plan a date..." Roy said after a pause, moaning in pleasure at Ed's wandering, kneading touch.

"You're a complicated guy," Ed murmured as he shuffled closer towards Roy's prone body. Titling his head upwards to bump his nose against Roy's jawline, Ed slipped his tongue past his lips and teased the area just below Roy's ear.

"You know...this isn't fair...you're trying to take advantage of me while I'm sick. I haven't even gotten my date yet..."

Ed arched into Roy's kneading hand on his back in pleasure. "I'm a teenager. A very horny teenager. Give me a break! I don't want to stop. If you want to make me, go ahead," he said against Roy's neck. Stretching further, Ed pulled Roy's earlobe into his warm mouth, running the tip of his tongue along the edge making Roy moan. Roy could make such sweet sounds when he wasn't paying attention to himself and reigning himself in. Ed lived to hear those coveted sounds. If he ever did get a good date with Roy, and got to be top, he'd make Roy make all sorts of erotic sounds all night.

"I don't think I could stop you if I wanted to, but, Ed...I really don't feel well...I don't know how much I'd be able to contribute..."

"Damn, and I'm 'bout ready to burst. Just jerk me off, please. I can't take this," Ed pleaded, finally closing the small distance between their bodies to let Roy know just how much he wanted this. His fully matured erection throbbed painfully in the tight confines of his pants. "I'll do you after if you want me to. It's not like that's really sex, right?" said Ed hopefully. Roy shook his head, making Ed frown.

"It just depends on how you look at it..." After a slight pause, Roy reached down to fumble with Ed's belt buckle. In exasperation, he pulled his hand away. "Take your belt and pants off," he ordered.

Grinning manically, Ed sat up and attacked his belt, quickly pulling down the zipper of his pants with a groan of pleasure as the pressure was finally released from his erect organ. "Sex is intercourse, there's no intercourse here..." husked Ed, his breathing quickening. Leaning back, Ed wiggled his pants and boxers down and flung them across the room, his shirt mere seconds behind. Now full naked, Ed turned his attention to Roy's pajama's.

"Intercourse is intercourse, Ed. Sex can be different things. Sex can be intercourse, it can be anal, oral, solo... It can be a noun or a verb. It can just refer to giving into those urges and making yourself cum. If you only limit your definition of sex to intercourse, you loose a lot..." Roy said, shivering slightly from Ed's brisk hands removing his clothing. "So, you see, it really depends." Roy reached out to touch the side of his chest. "A hand job is sex in the loosest form of the word..."

"Shut up," rumbled Ed, leaning in to attack Roy's lips. While keeping Roy's mouth engaged in a more pleasant pursuit then lecturing, Ed caressed his way down to the top of Roy's pajama bottoms. Ed noted with satisfaction that Roy's breathing had dramatically increased. Finally divesting Roy of the only remaining barrier with a flick, Ed reclaimed Roy's mouth hungrily.

"This seems a lot for non-sex," mumbled Roy around Ed's demanding kiss.

Roy dragged his hand up Ed's back making him shiver in anticipation. Roy's other hand trailed up the front of his chest to brush teasingly past his nipple.

"Well you," gasped Ed at the light touch on his chest. "Made me wait so fucking long...fuck yeah!" groaned Ed, straddling Roy's pelvis. He rewarded Roy's participation by leaning down to nip playfully at his neck and collarbone.

Roy moaned. "It's not like you didn't have your hand, Ed... Dammit...that feels so good..."

Ed felt a tug at the end of his braid, and then Roy was trying to card through its length awkwardly, while the other hand wondered down to his ass to knead suggestively. Sitting back so that he could look down at Roy, Ed shook out his hair so that it hung loose down to the middle of his back.

"I like it better when it's you. It's always better when it's you. I fucking love it when you touch me," Ed confessed, licking his lips at the sight of Roy smiling below him. Slowly rolling his hips, Ed grazed his erection against Roy's lower stomach in a silent plea for him to touch him. Running his hands down Ed's ribs, Roy brought his hands close, but didn't touch him just yet.

"It's always better with you too..." Roy said, finally bringing his hands to Ed's erection to stroke slowly.

"Holy shit! Yeah, like that..." moaned Ed, closing his eyes against the sensations. "Don't stop..." he said, breathing hard. He wasn't going to last very long, he could already feel that he was starting to head towards his peak, and with Roy rubbing the inside of his thigh to add to the sensations it just made him want to finish fast.

"I want to hear your voice, Ed... I want to hear how you like it..." said Roy.

Gods, Roy was going to be the death of him. Asking for him to vocalize his pleasure sent a thrill down to his already hard flesh. "Harder, Roy...I'm so close..." groaned Ed, throwing his head back to thrust into Roy's fist. His request was granted and Roy began to stroke him harder and faster, with the other hand reaching around to grab his ass.

"Roy!" groaned Ed as he reached his peak, and fell forward bonelessly onto Roy's chest, trying to catch his breath. Ed could feel Roy shifted under him before his arm wrapped around Edward's back.

"You looked very sexy..."

Ed smiled into Roy's chest and sighed. "I needed that..." It was a few more moments before Ed could work up the energy to return the favor. "Do you...?" Ed asked as he rolled off of Roy and wrapped his hand around Roy's erection.

"Mmmm...I would..." Roy said, watching Ed expectantly.

Licking his lips again, Ed pushed himself forward to nibble his way down Roy's creamy chest. Pausing at his navel, Ed glanced up at Roy, making sure he had his full attention before continuing. With a seductive flick of his tongue, Ed licked at the globes of cum that had gotten on Roy's stomach, and he looked back at Roy. He just caught the tail end of a grin before Roy let out a small moan.

Licking the rest of the cum from Roy's stomach, Ed finally kissed his way lower. "Tell me what you want, Roy," Ed husked, his eyes smoldering as he looked up into Roy's own bed room eyes.

With a grin laced with lust, Roy gripped the back of Ed's head gently. "I want to see you go down on me... I want you to suck me off, Ed... I want to see my cock in your mouth..."

Smirking, Ed took a hold of Roy's length and brought his mouth down to the flick his tongue along the top of his head, licking up the wetness. He'd worked hard to improve his fellatio skills. Roy loved it when he went down on him, but in the beginning he'd flat out refused. Dragging the flat of his tongue down his length to make it slick, Ed took the tip of the erection into his mouth and sucked hard. He was pleased to hear Roy pant loudly and knead his head when he dropped down and took as much of Roy's length as he could manage into his mouth.

"Oh, yes... Just like that..." moaned Roy, rocking his hips with each exhale into Ed.

Delighting in Roy's cries and the insistent touch on his head, Ed decided that he'd give Roy a little treat as part of his apology. Relaxing his throat, he allowed Roy to thrust as deeply as he wanted into his willing mouth. Moaning loudly, Roy gripped the back of his head tightly.

"I'm going to cum..."

Roy thrust a few more times, and exhaling loudly, he released his pent up lust into Ed's mouth. Swallowing his seed, Ed stayed with him through the small aftershocks. The small breathy gasps that Roy uttered each time Ed worked the back of his throat, thrilled him to no end, until Roy finally went limp with a big moan. Wiping a hand across his mouth, Ed sat back on his heels and grinned at the state that Roy was in. Crawling up, he lay down, snuggling into Roy.

"So, how about no intercourse until a successful date, but hand and mouth privileges are allowed," Ed bargained.

"Okay..." Roy placed a kiss on Ed's forehead. "I spoil you too much I think..." said Roy, dragging his hand up Ed's back, and the other to his own forehead, squeezing his eyes shut in pain.

"I don't think you spoil me," said Ed with a pout. He couldn't think of one time that Roy had spoiled him. "Was that too much for you? You didn't seem to mind..." fretted Ed, frowning with worry.

"I'm still hungover...but I don't regret it. It was good. _Very_ good. Thank you, Ed, and yes I do spoil you. I give into you more then anyone..." Roy paused in thought. "But I don't regret that either."

Resting his chin on top of his hand, on Roy's chest, Ed smiled lazily as he studied Roy. "You should call in sick more often. We could do this all day. Hey, have you ever spoiled anyone else? Like, before me?" he asked. Roy opened his eyes and patted his hair. Ed loved having his hair stoked and touched.

"I don't think calling in sick more often would be a good idea. Hawkeye actually came by to 'check on me' after I called in. Sometimes I wonder who's the commanding officer in that office." Roy chuckled and looked down at Ed fondly.

"No... no one like you. There's never been anyone like you. I've never treated anyone like you before. You are..." Roy reached out and caressed Ed's cheek. "You are special... no one else has been able to make me want to give in so much."

Ed felt his heart swelled painfully at Roy's confession. So, he really did care for him, he was glad. Sometimes he just wasn't sure. Roy reached out and moved a strand of hair that had fallen into his eyes.

"I've never spoiled anyone like you..." Roy said again.

Ed blinked contentedly at Roy. It was good to know that he didn't have any competition, and that he was the _only_ one Roy had ever been kind with. When he thought about all the people Roy must have been with over the years he felt jealousy and hurt. Why he should feel that way, when they had nothing to do with him or this thing he had with Roy was a little bit confusing. Really, why did Roy want him anyway?

"Why'd you like me in the first place...I wasn't very nice to you in the beginning..." wondered Ed letting his head roll across his fingers to regard Roy at an angle. He blinked and mumbled, "I always wondered that."

"At first...? You mean as in...why did I pursue you?"

"Yeah, 'cause you never told me what you like about me," explained Ed as he laid on his side, resting his head on Roy's shoulder, and curling up into Roy's embrace. He reached his arm across Roy's chest and trailed his fingertips through the hair at the base of Roy's neck.

Roy cleared his throat. "Well...actually at first I just wanted to fuck you. Sorry."

Ed couldn't move, his eyes widened in horror. He felt Roy shift under him. _What the..._ Ed tried to make himself breath normally.

"You had so much energy that I was extremely curious if it would extend to your sex life, and of course, you didn't seem to like me very much, so that really added to the thrill of the hunt..."

That's it! "What!" Ed yelled, sitting up angrily to glare down at Roy. "You're fucking kidding, right?"

"Just wait," Roy said, grabbing onto Ed's arm. "And don't shout..."

"I'll shout if I wanna shout," Ed informed Roy, he struggled to contain his emotions and not show how hurt he was. He gripped Roy's hand that griped his arm and pried it off. "I can't _believe_ what a fucking pervert you are!" he said, looking away.

"Dammit, Edward... Yes, I'm a pervert, but you know my reputation...I usually only went out with people to have sex with them. How many people do you think I screwed before you? How many am I still with, or even better, how many did I stay with longer then a week? Now, if you'll just let me speak, you'll get the answer to your question."

Taking a shaky breath, Ed glared daggers at Roy, but made no move to leave from his position on the bed. He'd at least hear what Roy had to say, but if he didn't like it, he'd leave. "I don't even want to think about how many people you've had sex with..." he said looking at the wall, rather then having to look at Roy.

With a sigh, Roy continued, "Ed... It was during the time that I spent trying to get you that I started to realize how much I enjoyed being with you. You weren't like anyone I'd ever been with. You were smart and you kept me on my toes. It was invigorating to be around you. Despite our differences you became an addiction for me, even before I ever succeed in getting you into bed. By the time we actually had sex, I already wanted to be with you for more then that. Yes, I wanted you for sex first, but that's not the only reason I want you now... Why should the past matter?"

"I was just curious," Ed said petulantly, and let his eyes drift away to stare at the pillows rather then having to look at Roy's face. Roy's hand reached up and touched the side of Ed's face, but he still resolutely would not meet Roy's gaze.

"I might not have told you before, but...you're becoming an adult and I think that you can handle the truth," said Roy running a thumb softly across Ed's pressed lips. "I'm sorry that the truth isn't very romantic, but you should be happy that you also have the honor of being the only one I've ever been honest with... Please don't go..." plead Roy. His hand fell back to the bed.

Swallowing hard, Ed blinked against the sudden emotion, making his eyes water. He frowned at himself for getting so emotional and bowed his head, hiding within his hair as he tired to reign in his chaotic thoughts. Did Roy even know what he had just said to him. Flaunting all his past flings like that... He worked the bed sheets through his fingers in his distress.

"Honored...?" Ed asked, testing the word. Roy was such a... Ed pressed his lips, keeping his head bowed. "I'd rather you weren't so blunt...it hurts," he whispered. "You could have said it nicer, I don't like..." _To get hurt, I've been hurt so much already. Why do you do that? Why can't you see?_ Ed pleaded silently. "Never mind." Ed resumed his spot, resting his head on Roy's shoulder, stiffly.

Wrapping his arms around Ed's stiff body, Roy squeezed him close. The silence stretched out painfully, making Ed wonder if Roy was going to say anything at all.

"Nothing I say is right, is it? Nothing I do..." Roy sighed. "I don't always think of saying things the nice way with you, Ed, and when I do act 'nice' you think I'm treating you like a girl or something. I'm not sure what you want from me..." Roy said, petting Ed's hair as he talked.

"Like I know?" Ed said in frustration. "It's all new to me, you know." Ed sighed. He only had dim memories of his mother and father together, and with no other frame of reference on how he should act in a relationship, he had to wing it. "I don't know how to act well for anything..." Roy placed another kiss on his forehead. A gesture that he was actually becoming quite fond off.

"I didn't mean to hurt you..."

"Yeah, okay..." Ed said, forgiving Roy, and himself. "Forget I even brought it up." He let all the tension ebb out of his body and allowed himself to enjoy the warmth again. He let his eyes close.

"Ed?" Roy said, after a few quiet moments.

"Hmm?" Ed murmured sleepily.

"Why me...?"

"Eh?" Ed lifted his head and looked up into Roy's face perplexed.

"You asked me why I liked you... in essence why I chose you... Well, why me? I mean... Like you said we didn't get along..." Roy said glancing down at Ed. "You don't have to answer. Never mind that I even brought it up..." Roy averted his eyes.

Ed let his head fall back as he considered Roy's question. He smirked softly as he thought about Roy, the man as opposed to Roy, the commander, something he wasn't able to distinguish between sometimes. Roy had clawed his way into his life...for apparently less then stellar reasons, but he was here none the less. So, why _had_ he finally given in, and allowed Roy to kiss him that first time on the floor of Roy's apartment?

He wasn't one to question his motives, rather he'd go with what his gut told him at the time, and to hell with the consequences. So why Roy?

"Well..." Ed began, feeling out the answer. "I like your eyes, and your voice is...shiver inspiring...but I didn't really notice until after we were together. I guess I was attracted to your power at first." Ed laughed softly. "I love the way your uniform swirls around you when you snap your fingers, it's very sexy," he said, closing his eyes in relaxation.

"I..." Roy shifted. "I don't know what to say... That's so...flattering. Thank you."

"Yeah, you get off on that shit, I know you do," sighed Ed, allowing himself to relax completely. Roy really did like to get complements. He liked watching Roy preen, it was really cute.

"I just didn't expect something so eloquent," said Roy, pulling Ed even closer.

"Hmm...bet you never knew I had it in me," said Ed, around a yawn. Eloquent eh? Yeah, maybe for him it was. He'd actually taken time to think about it, so yeah, it was. Maybe he should do that more often. Then he wouldn't get in trouble so much.

"Learn something new everyday," murmured Roy, sleepily.

Ed looked up at Roy's face as he drifted asleep. Using his feet, he caught and dragged up the blanket, before drifting off as well.

--To Be Continued--


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer: I don't own...Willing to marry into the family though.

**Roy's dialog belongs to ZaKai. Be sure to check out Roy's POV for his side of this via my profile XD**

This is my favorite chapter thus far. I think I said that to any of you who reviewed. I'm '_dying'_ to know what you think of it! MWAHAHAHAHA!

**Chapter 06**

Ed shifted under the covers. The dream was an old one, full of pain and fear from _that_ night; the night he made the biggest mistake of his life. Human transmutation; forbidden in this country, but to a small child, laws have little, if any, meaning. Al was with him, whole and small, watching him with trusting eyes; following his lead as they prick their fingers letting one drop each of blood fall into the pan.

They both lean on their hands, pressing into the circle that Ed has drawn so carefully. The energy flares around them; bright and beautiful to behold. There's so much power, that Ed momentarily forgets that they are trying to re-create their mother.

Fear grips a hold of him as the reaction starts to rebound. The whole dream is about fear, and the darkness trying to envelope him, caressing him. Something he's not felt or dreamt of in a long time. Something that makes his stomach roll painfully, biting at his insides. Groaning, Ed rolled over onto his side, burrowing into the warmth beside him for comfort. Before the dream can take hold, Ed is being shaken.

"Hey..." murmured Roy.

Coming slowly awake, Ed groaned as the pain made itself known to his conscious self. Drawing his knees up and into his chest helped to ease the discomfort some, but it still gnawed at him. A warm hand palmed Ed's forehead, while another rubbed circles into his bare back.

"Edward..." Roy whispered.

"Fuck..." grimaced Ed, panting in agony as he curled up even tighter. What was wrong with his stomach? Could this all be a result of worry? He wished it would just go away and leave him alone. Roy wiped his forehead for him, and he felt him shift the pillow above him.

"What's going on?" Roy whispered, sounding concerned.

Ed cracked an eye open and looked up into Roy's hovering face. "My stomach's fucking trying to kill me..." whined Ed, feeling like he'd much rather have Pinako or even his mother rather then Roy right now. Roy was no good when he was feeling under the weather, but as they say 'beggars can't be choosers'. Even as he lay there, the pain began to ebb, letting Ed relax again. When it spiked like that it was pretty bad, he much preferred the dull, in the back of your mind type pain that it was becoming now.

"What did you eat for breakfast?" Roy asked with a frown.

Swallowing, Ed cast about for something he could say. "Nothing. I haven't—" Ed cut himself off before he went too far. He didn't want to tell Roy he was weak and hadn't eaten because he'd been upset over how they'd been these last three weeks. It was too much like how a kid would act, and he didn't want Roy to notice, or tease him.

He was trying to act _more_ responsible for his actions and how others reacted to him. He was responsible, of course. He'd taken responsibility for his past mistakes and fixed them, but this was different. This was trying to work within a relationship, with another person who wasn't his brother. It was just plain hard though, but after three weeks, it seemed to him that he'd made at least some progress...or he hoped. _I mean, don't I get credit for not beating Roy sooner when we had that misunderstanding?_ thought Ed.

"Okay, well, maybe it's what you ate for dinner last night."

Feeling very sheepish about why he wasn't eating, Ed averted his eyes. "Yeah, maybe..." Reaching out Ed laid his arm across Roy's chest to try and coax him back down beside him so that he could cuddle into Roy's body. "How's the head? Sorry I woke you..." said Ed, trying to shift the focus away from him. Roy was the sick one, not him. He could deal with this later.

"The head still hurts, but it's not too bad. Well if you didn't eat breakfast, that's probably your problem," said Roy, holding on to the topic and not letting it go.

Ed figured he was right at least on some level, but the accumulation of two and a half days without food was closer to the truth. He didn't want to even imagine what Roy would say to him if he found_ that_ out. He really felt like Roy was trying to play his father when he scolded him like that, and he didn't need that right now. They just made up, and he didn't want to rock the boat anymore today.

"Why didn't you eat breakfast anyway? You're usually starving by the time you get up," wondered Roy after a short pause.

"I couldn't...I..." Ed brushed his hair back over his shoulder. "I rushed over to the office to talk to you and then came over here...so, don't worry about it. I'll be fine," said Ed, smiling up at Roy. Ah! Roy was going to try and make him say sappy stuff. He hated sappy stuff. It made him feel like a girl, and Roy would enjoy that too much. Roy just stared at him quietly.

"You rushed over to the office...? You must be sick... You didn't eat breakfast, _and_ you showed up to work early?" Roy placed a hand back over Ed's forehead, making Ed smirk fondly. "Well, you don't have a fever," said Roy, wiping his hand on the pillow. "You wouldn't be sweating this much if you did. I think you need to eat something," Roy concluded and swung his legs over the side of the bed and presented his pale back for Ed's scrutiny.

_Well, maybe Roy could be just as good as Pinako at playing nurse maid_, Ed thought. But food...nuh ah. "I only went to talk with you. Really it's okay, I don't think I can handle food right now," Ed said, sticking out his tongue at the thought of trying to force something down his throat. Folding his legs under him, Ed reached out and placed a hand on Roy's arm to stop him from getting up. "It'll go away soon, I'm sure," Ed soothed.

Now that they had come to an understanding, Ed could continue with his plans and show Roy that he really could be an adult about this relationship. He _wanted_ to show Roy that. Taking him for granted was something Ed was guilty off as much as he had with his mother, but apparently he hadn't learned his lesson that well, because here he was doing it all over again.

Twisting around, Roy stared at him quietly for several moments. Ed smiled softly under the scrutiny, wondering what was running through Roy's mind then. He looked so contemplative.

"You don't want food?" Roy asked in disbelief. Ed shook his head no. "When did you last eat?"

"I don't know," Ed hedged, buying time. "Come on, lay back down," said Ed, pulling on Roy's shoulder. If he could just make Roy lay down with him, well...maybe he'd work up the courage to tell him why he hadn't been eating...maybe not. "It's gone, so don't worry about it, okay? Come back to bed." Pleading with his eyes, Ed gave Roy's shoulder another slight tug. "Come on, I'd be _honored _to have you come back to bed," teased Ed, smirking at Roy. Huh, seems his sub-consciousness wanted to needle Roy a bit, cause he didn't mean to bring up their argument from before. Hopefully Roy wouldn't take it the wrong way.

Roy faced away from Ed and ran a hand through his tousled hair. Ed watched him intently, taking in the board back, and watching the muscles flex and stretch. He almost wished he could be eloquent at least once so that he could tell Roy just how beautiful he was to him, but he never thought stuff like that out. It was always with his gut, leaving his brain to pick up the shattered pieces. Plus he'd just come off sounding like a girl.

As Roy shifted around, Ed focused his gaze on his face, sweeping down the side of his cheek to rest on those wonderful lips of his. Crawling across the mattress on his hands and knees, Roy pushed him down onto his back and he didn't bother to fight it. His heart beat was already speeding up in anticipation for whatever Roy had in mind. He wouldn't even care that it wasn't sex, because it was Roy who was doing it to him.

Watching through slitted eyes, Ed couldn't help the soft sigh as Roy straddled him across his hips. In this position...he could take Roy...if he ever let him. What would it be like to sink into his body like Roy did to him? It was an incredibly hot image that made him want to reach down and stroke himself fully erect. When Roy's eyes and hands started to wonder over his naked body, no amount of him touching himself could make him hard as fast as that did.

"Is this what you want Ed?" Roy murmured as he leaned in to kiss along Ed's throat. One hand tweaked his nipple making Ed sigh with pleasure, while Roy's other hand cupped his groin.

"Yes, I want this..." said Ed, arching up off the bed into Roy's fondling. He could feel his heart hammering under his ribs. All he wanted was for Roy to be like this with him; touching, kissing...even...loving. Tilting his head to the side to grant more access to Roy's mouth and tongue, Roy licked his way down leaving a wet trail down to his other nipple, drawing it into his mouth.

"AH!" cried Ed as the warmth enveloped his hardening nub, making him arch once more. He wondered if Roy knew just how _much_ he enjoyed it when he touched him here. "Roy..." moaned Ed, bringing his hands up to run through the back of Roy's head to encourage him.

No matter how lost he got in the stimulations that Roy gave him, he was always mindful of his auto-mail, and this time was no less important as he took care not to rub all of Roy's soft hair out. He kinda liked it. More then anything, he wanted to kiss Roy, to tell him again that he was sorry, but Roy resisted when he tried to pull him up to his lips.

Ed frowned. He was just about to ask what was wrong with Roy when the hand on his nipple reached across the bed, pulling open the nightstand drawer without releasing his other nipple from his mouth. Ed watched eagerly as Roy fumbled through the drawer looking for the lube, and his protests died on his lips. They'd kiss later. A few moments later, Roy had finally located the bottle and was pushing back on his heals between Ed's legs, spreading him.

Feeling like there wasn't enough oxygen in the room, Ed let his mouth hang open, and his hands fall to the bed. He was feeling incredibly exposed right now. He swallowed, and took a shaky breath. The passiveness of Roy's even gaze seemed to be inconsistent with what he was doing to him, but Ed didn't have the will to question him about it right now. He was wondering how far Roy was going to take this, if he got the lube out.

Flicking open the cap of the bottle and squeezing some lube onto his fingers, Roy glanced down between Ed's legs and pressed his finger against the tight ring of muscle, pushing in.

"This is what you want, right, Ed?" said Roy quietly.

The sweet burn of entry made Ed's toes curl in appreciation. "Yes..." sighed Ed, his eyes rolling closed. "Yes, yes..." he chanted, shifting on the bed to impale himself further on the finger. "Roy..." he moaned. Ed rubbed his flesh foot along Roy's calf, wanting to touch him in some way; to show his appreciation of what was being done to him.

Roy worked the second finger into his body stretching him further. "Beg me, Ed. Beg me to fuck you. Convince me that this is what you want," stated Roy, glancing up from his work to look Ed in the eye.

Ed groaned aloud. "Roy, please, I want you to fuck me, please," he begged. It had been far too long since they had last done this. His whole body seemed to vibrate with anticipation. He might cum just from this alone. "I'll do anything. I need you, please, I want your cock inside me," pleaded Ed, swallowing hard to try and reign in his racing heart beat.

Roy hummed to himself, or so it seemed to Ed, and then inserted a third finger. Despite how great this felt, something in the tone of Roy's voice seemed off. Maybe it was just his hangover acting up, causing him pain.

"Would you tell me what I wanted to hear to get what you want?" asked Roy, moving the fingers around.

Ed groaned. "Yesss..." he hissed in response to what Roy was doing to him. Bloody hell that felt good. "I...god damn...just do it, please!" He couldn't help it, he was shaking so hard. He just wanted to feel Roy moving inside of him. He wanted friction.

Removing his fingers from his ass, Roy picked up the bottle and squirted some lube into his hand to spread along his ridged cock, and then proceeded to maneuver Ed into a position of his liking. Pulling Ed's legs up onto his shoulders, with one swift motion, Roy plunged into Ed with a grunt. Breathing hard through his mouth, Ed closed his eyes and forced his body to relax and to accommodate Roy. While Roy normally took his time, easing into him slowly, he didn't mind at all right now. It was sort of nice that he was being rough after having been without for so long.

Holding onto Ed's thighs, Roy panted, "Tell me, Ed. Tell me what you want from me."

Panting through his mouth, Ed let the last of his tension release from his body, finally able to feel comfortable with Roy inside him. Rolling his hips, Ed looked up at Roy still kneeling on the bed, signaling his readiness. "Move," commanded Ed in response to Roy's question. "Fuck me, just move!" exclaimed Ed, reaching out for Roy with both his hands.

"Is that it?" asked Roy, looking down at him.

"Is that it?" parroted Ed, confused. What was Roy on about now? Making him think at a time like this was insane. His out stretched hands pulled back slightly in response to uncertainty. Oh! He meant what else for sex. Roy was really throwing him off today. "Kiss me. Hard," he instructed. He stared at Roy's lips in anticipation, and shifted again.

Roy grabbed his flesh hand and placed the kiss Ed wanted into his palm rather then on his lips like he had meant for it to go. Before he could even protest, Roy released his hand and gripped his leg while the other hand went down to his cock quickly erasing any complaint he might have had as Roy began to move.

The sensations, both within, and out, washed over Ed making him lose himself. He gripped at the bed sheets in an effort to anchor himself to something. Even though he had released earlier this morning, Roy's forceful thrusts and stroking conspired against his wishes to make this last as long as possible, and he felt himself approach his assent.

"I'm...going...to..." gasped Ed, unable to take the pleasurable assault any longer. He closed his eyes in painful bliss as he came hard. Roy stopped his thrusting, allowing Ed to enjoy his post orgasmic glow. When, after a few moments, Ed began to breath normally, Roy grabbed his other leg and started to thrust again.

Faster then before, Roy moved. Ed, gasping with each thrust, arched his neck into the pillow. Roy seemed to be close to his completion, and he moaned aloud. Ed could feel the essence fill him up. He couldn't even work up the energy yet to open his eyes, but Ed's lips smirk when he heard Roy's heavy sigh. Seems he missed this just as much as he did.

"I thought—not that I'm complaining—but..." Ed said, opening his eyes to smile contentedly up at Roy. His mouth hung open in a silent gasp as Roy pulled out, and put his legs back to the mattress. Instead of lying down beside him like he normally would, Roy was up and walking over to the bathroom. Ed's only thought was maybe he'd done himself in by the sex and was going to get sick.

"Are you hungry now?" asked Roy in a neutral tone before entering the bathroom. Ed could hear the opening and closing of the cabinets.

"No, not really," replied Ed, his voice softened with sated bliss. "Are you coming back?" When he didn't get an answer, he tried again. "Are you okay? Is your head bothering you?" Resting on his elbow, Ed watched the bathroom door for Roy's return.

"I think you should have something in your stomach." Roy came back into the room with a roll of toilet paper in his hand that he threw negligently at Ed, which he snatched out of the air and stared at Roy confused. "It's not normal for you not to be hungry, and stomach pains might be a sign that your body is unhappy with you depriving it," finished Roy.

Even though Roy said this in his normal easy tone of voice, Ed sensed that something wasn't quite right with how he was being addressed and treated, but he couldn't decide what was bothering Roy now. They had made up. They were good, so...what now?

Biting his lip to keep from railing at him, Ed ripped of a few squares from the roll. He bowed his head, allowing his hair to hide his face to give him time to get his hot head under control, and wiped the cum off his stomach. It definitely wasn't his fault this time because he all he'd done was fall asleep. Roy moved away from the bathroom door and picked up his pajama bottoms from where they lay on the floor and stepped into them. Ed shot a quick glance at him and then returned to his task.

Then there was the fact that Roy hadn't kissed him. That was just wrong. Ed couldn't even articulate to himself why it bothered him so much. It really just felt off. Swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, Ed took the soiled tissues and roll in hand and headed for the bathroom. He winched slightly at the ache from his backside, but quickly covered it. As Ed passed by, he shot a bemused look at Roy's face. He really didn't get it.

Dumping the tissues in the small trash can by the sink, Ed ripped a few more squares off and wiped up between his legs also dumping them in the trash before placing the roll on the back of the toilet and ran his left hand through his hair, pulling the whole mass back to lay down along his back. Pivoting on the ball of his foot, Ed crossed over to the doorway of the bathroom and leaned on the frame regarding Roy who was now dressed into his pajama bottoms.

"I don't think I like you drinking, or hung over," Ed said, trying to voice his unease. He could feel it. Something had to be wrong. But he didn't know how to fix it unless Roy told him. His brows came together slightly with his worry as he watched Roy across the room.

With a grunt, Roy stepped over to him, and cupped his cheek. Rubbing his thumb along his face, Roy said, "I don't see what the problem is. You got what you wanted didn't you?" Letting his hand fall back to his side, Roy walked over to the bedroom door and out into the hall. "Come down when you're ready," Roy said loudly.

Ed watched as Roy left, dumbfounded. Something was definitely wrong. Picking up his scattered clothes, he brought them over to the bed and began to slowly get dressed. Pulling on his underwear, he looked around Roy's room. He'd never stayed more then one night at a time, always heading back to the dorm the next day. Roy had never told him he couldn't stay longer, but it seemed like an unspoken thing, like an understanding. He didn't stay. He just got that feeling that Roy wanted his space, and since he'd never said any different, Ed assumed that he was right.

Looking behind him, he saw Roy's coat lying on the floor by the closet and smiled. Geez, Roy was lazy. Donning his pants, Ed quickly did up the button and fly, and then crossed the room to hang up Roy's coat on a hanger. As he placed the coat on the bar, Ed noticed Roy's uniform. On impulse, Ed brought the uniform down and stuck his nose into the coarse fabric. Roy's smell was sucked up into his nose greedily.

He loved it when, after coming home from spending the night here, he could smell Roy all over him. In his hair, his clothes, sometimes he wouldn't wash his shirt for a while as long as it held Roy's scent. It was so stupid, but he couldn't help it. When did he get to be such a friggin' sap? Al would laugh at him, he was sure, if he saw him now.

Feeling like he'd spent enough time dawdling, Ed replaced the uniform and walked back towards the bed. Picking up his shirt, he pulled it over his head and smoothed his sleep tussled hair once more. He looked around for the tie he had used to secure the end of his braid unsuccessfully. It was lost to parts unknown now most likely. Oh well, he shrugged it off. It wouldn't kill him to leave it down. He left the room and trudged down the stairs, in his sock feet, to see what Roy was up to.

Rounding the corner, Ed watched Roy as he fixed a cup of coffee. Roy's head came up when Ed's mismatched foot steps alerted his presence. Without turning, Roy lifted his arm and pointed to the counter by the fridge.

"Drink it. It will help your stomach."

Ed looked in the direction Roy pointed. Milk! Ed shuddered. Did Roy _know_ how they got milk from cows? It was disgusting! They had to trick the cow into thinking she was pregnant and then...gak! As soon as he had found that out as a kid, he never touched the stuff again. Unless it was mixed in with something else, then he didn't care. Roy had to know that he hated the stuff, right?

"I don't _do_ milk," said Ed, glaring at Roy's back. If he didn't know before he was going to find out now.

"I did you, so do the milk," retorted Roy without turning. Roy poured the coffee from the pot into his mug.

Snorting, Ed said, "That's not equivalent." He folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the door frame. There it was again; that strange quality to Roy's voice. It was a bit cold, and he wondered why. In fact, it was starting to get really annoying.

Finally turning around, Roy frowned at him, steaming mug in hand. "Fine, Ed. Don't drink it. I'm not your mother." Grabbing the muffin from the counter, Roy walked over to the table and sat down.

Okay, enough was enough. Roy had a broom stick up his ass apparently, and it was time to find out why. "What the fuck's your problem? We just had wicked sex and you're acting like a prick!" fumed Ed, slashing the air in front of him with his growing frustration. "I know I didn't do anything this time, so what is it!" Ed stared hard at Roy, trying to read his expressions, but failing. Roy's face was devoid of any emotions.

Glancing up at him, Roy slowly took a sip of his coffee. "The milk will help your stomach. Why are you acting so childish when I'm trying to help you feel better?" asked Roy calmly.

Ed bristled. "Don't turn this back on me." Like, what the hell did he do anyway? As if! "You know what I'm talking about. I may have been caught up in the moment, but that doesn't mean I didn't notice! You wouldn't even fuckin' kiss me." That was the worse! Roy never not kissed him. That should have been the first warning sign, but he got distracted by what Roy was doing to him.

"You find the taste of vomit arousing?" asked Roy, sipping from his mug. "Are you trying to start a fight with me, Ed?" he asked calmly.

Ed pressed his lips together into a thin line. No, he wasn't going to start a fight. If Roy didn't want to tell him, then fine. He'd wait until he was ready to let him know what was his problem. He would _not_ beat it out of him. He was an adult, or at least trying to be more like one. Although a punch or two would be a faster way to get some answers. If Roy was taking out his hangover on him, he had another thing coming.

"I kissed you when I first got here, you didn't worry about it then. But fine, I got shit to do. You're getting better so I should shove off." Ed spun around, and trudged back upstairs to retrieve his boots and jacket. He jammed his feet into his shoes, carelessly, and pulled on his coat as he came back down the stairs. He just wanted to get out of here.

He wasn't one to run away from confrontation, but in an effort to keep the peace, he'd be the one to bend. Roy was too ill to know what he was doing. He rolled his eyes at how frustrating Roy was being. As he passed by the kitchen, Ed gave a negligent wave and headed for the front door. It was the best he could offer right now, seeing as he was pretty annoyed right now.

"It's rather telling, isn't it, Ed?" Roy called out, calmly.

Always so fucking calm! It just made Ed's hackles rise in response. _How could anyone not react to that?_ he wondered and valiantly tired not to do just that. Ed stopped mid-step and turned back to look at Roy from over his shoulder.

"I give you what you want, and you get angry at me for asking you to do something as simple as drink a glass of milk...for your own health. Your selfishness never ceases to amaze me..." said Roy, he locked his eyes on Ed while he sipped from his mug.

Ed felt instant anger. His face burned with it, and he breathed hard as if he'd been running. Turning around to face Roy, Ed fought with himself for some measure of control. "I..." _I will not be dragged into a fight_, he thought. But, oh did he ever want to. Clenching his jaw over the rant that really wanted to run free, Ed thought it would be best if he got out of here quickly before he said something he'd regret.

"I better go," Ed said stiffly. "Before I do something I'll regret later." Why was Roy provoking him like this? It was almost like he wanted to start a fight with him. But why? Why would Roy want to start something with him? He seemed to be pushing all his buttons, and he knew, that Roy knew, that he was quick to anger...so why? It didn't make sense and it only fueled his desire to get out of here before his mouth had a chance to run away from him.

Roy watched him through half-lidded eyes. "You do that, Ed. You leave. I understand that you don't have full control over yourself," said Roy.

Ed let out a shaky breath as he tenuous control over his temper started to slip. Both of Ed's hands fisted at his side. _Well yeah!_ thought Ed. _So why the fuck was Roy doing this?_

After a pause Roy continued. "It must be hard on you, knowing that you're not really an adult yet." Roy took a leisurely sip of coffee. "If you were, you'd have more control over your actions and you wouldn't have thrown a fit when I asked you to do something that would help you."

Grimacing at Roy's insults, Ed pulled his lips back in a silent snarl. He might not legally be an adult, but he'd done and seen more then most adults three times his age. That qualified for something. "I thought you said you liked my energy. Isn't that what said, and then right after you slapped me in the face by flaunting your past flings? And I do have control, or else I'd be over there right now punching your fuckin' face in!" Ed clamped his mouth shut. No fighting!

"I don't recall flaunting my past flings. It might be best if you didn't take things out of context, Ed." Roy sipped again from the mug, and then shook his head in apparent disgust. "You have such violent tendencies, Ed. I can only imagine this is partially why your brother stays away from you."

Ed gasped, and took an involuntary step back. The very wind seemed as though it had been knocked from him. It was true that Al seemed to be enjoying his time in Rizembool, but it wasn't due to the fact that he was scared of him. Al could totally kick his ass with out breaking a sweat...no, it wasn't like that.

"Of course, I can imagine that just seeing you brings many bad memories that he'd like to avoid," said Roy, drinking from the mug again.

How could Roy _say_ that to him! Al...Al would never... Ed took an unsteady breath. "You...you...take that back..." commanded Ed in a near whisper. The shock in his voice was painful sounding even to him. Anxiety pooled in his stomach, making it twist horribly. Al didn't react to him like that, ever!

"Sure. I take it back. But it doesn't change the reality of it." Roy placed his mug down carefully in front of him and locked his gaze onto Ed.

Ed swallowed reflexively. It was like he couldn't breath right. He couldn't tear his eyes away from Roy's calm and steady gaze. His words didn't match his body language at all. He was just sitting there, lording over him from the kitchen table.

"When was the last time you saw Alphonse?" asked Roy, then paused. "You ruined his life."

_Nonononono...that's not right_, thought Ed. Al had never said... Why was he saying these things? Ed's chest heaved. Sure he hadn't seen Al in four months, but he'd been busy. Well...it was true that he didn't call as often as he should, but when he did, Al was just like always on the phone. He hadn't detected any resentment on his brother's behalf. If he was afraid of him, why was he still talking to him? Roy was wrong...he had to be!

"Yes, you got his body back, but how many years were wasted? He knows you can't control yourself, just as much as I know you can't. I'm sure he doesn't want to chance having you do something even worse to him."

Slowly, Ed brought his left hand up to grip at the cloth covering his stomach. Does Roy know something he didn't? Did Al talk to him about that time? He was the one Al should go to, not Roy. "No...that's not..." mumbled Ed. What hurt more? His stomach or the cruel way Roy was treating him. "That's not it!" Ed yelled. "He's not scared of me! He's NOT!" shouted Ed. Oh no, what if it was true and Al _was_ afraid of him. He was all alone if Al abandoned him. He didn't have any other family but him! He felt queasy, like he might be sick, as his stomach rolled. He swallowed and let out a shaky breath.

Roy shrugged his shoulder, seemingly unaffected by Ed's emotional anguish. "I'm sure you don't threaten to hit him as often as you threaten to hit me, but you're really just an accident waiting to happen. You've really hurt a lot of people with your careless attitude," said Roy. He regarded Ed with a frown for a moment before his features smoothed once more into a calm face.

How...how could Roy say that? It wasn't true. He...he made up for it...in the end. He'd fixed it. Just like he said he would. What people? Who had he hurt by his attitude? Roy's verbal barbs rained down on him, making him ache.

"People have died because of you and your selfish carelessness..." said Roy, breaking Ed's train of thought.

Gasping, Ed swallowed hard. It was true. People _had_ died because of him. He hated to think about it, but it was true. It tore him up inside to know that he'd done that. He had nightmares about it still. He couldn't look at Al with out knowing what he had to do to put that right. But for Roy to slap him in the face with that... What was the point of this! Yes, he killed, but so did Roy. He had the same stain on his soul as Roy did, knew the same guilt. How could he use _that_ against him?

Why? Why was he saying these things to him? Ed took a step back towards the door. He hadn't done anything! He couldn't seem to tear his eyes away from Roy's cold face. He took another step back, his hand clutching and un-clutching over his abs. Had he ever known this kind of heart breaking, gut twisting pain? Maybe...when he lost his mother. Was he going to lose Roy too? That made Ed's stomach drop alarmingly. He didn't want that!

Roy threaded his finger through the handle of his mug and brought the cup up to his lips and took a sip. "I'm sorry, I've kept you. You said you were leaving," said Roy, as if he had inconvenienced Ed in some way before taking another sip.

"Go on. Run away from the truth. Humans are good at lying to themselves to make reality less painful. Go home and tell yourself that everything I've said is a lie. Continue to believe that your brother is only staying in Rizembool because he has a love interest."

Ed felt burning in the back of his throat. Roy _was_ trying to get rid of him. Ed felt all the various harsh words that Roy had said to him flash across his memory, as if it was burned there now. It was all too much. How could it hurt _this_ much?

"Go. I'm tired of trying to do things for you, only to get pushed away or have my words twisted into something else. I'm sick of your selfish attitude."

Ed shook his head in denial, and his vision started to get blurry. No, he didn't want to leave. He...he...lo— He couldn't even say it in his head, but that didn't mean it wasn't true...

"All you think about is yourself, and you don't even stop to consider what someone else might be thinking or feeling. I don't know why I thought this could ever work... You're obviously not interested in having a mature relationship," Roy spat, glaring at Ed. "Get out."

Finally the tears that had been welling up within Ed's eyes spilled over, and fell down his cheeks. All he wanted to do was to flee from the apartment all the way back to his dorm, so that he wouldn't have to have Roy see him crying. He was not a kid. But he couldn't stop the tears now that they had started, and no amount of screaming at his legs to move registered with his body and he remained rooted to the spot. "Roy..." whispered Ed, his face crumbled as the tears came hard. He whimpered as he drew a ragged breath.

Setting his mug back down, Roy shot a hard look at Ed. "What? What more do you want from me? No, wait." Roy held up his palm and closed his eyes. "I think I already asked that this morning and you said you wanted me to fuck you." Roy's eyes snapped open to glare at Ed.

Ed hiccuped, and couldn't yank his eyes away from the harsh painful glare that Roy directed his way. Roy had never looked like that at him...ever! Had he really been that ignorant towards Roy?

"Well, I did. I gave you what you wanted. I've given you everything I have to give. I've given you more than anyone before you and I tried to convey that to you this morning, but you simply turned it around giving me hollowly flattering words, then accusing me when I didn't do everything the way you wanted it done."

_What? What's Roy talking about?_ Ed wondered through his tears. He moaned in pain.

"How do you expect me to have a relationship with someone as self-centered and inconsiderate as you?" asked Roy.

Silence descended through the room; the only sound Ed continuing distress. He hated the fact that he was sobbing this hard, and in front of Roy. He wasn't weak! Ed swallowed a shaky breath as that thought made him breakdown even more. He wasn't weak, but he sure was right now.

"You're obviously ready to end this, so I'm giving you what you want," said Roy. "I _always_ give you what you want in the end, don't I, Ed?" Roy paused again. "But now, I have nothing more to give you." Roy dropped his eyes to the table in front of him. "Go. Just go. I can't even look at you," whispered Roy, his voice laced with unnamed pain.

"That's not...I didn't," sobbed Ed. When had he said that he wanted this to end? Ed searched franticly though his memory for anything that Roy could have mistaken for what he seemed to believe as his desire to end the relationship, but came up with nothing.

"I don't want this to be over, Roy!" he cried, taking two faltering steps towards the man seated stiffly in the kitchen. "I want you, I do! Please, Roy...I didn't mean it." Unable to bear it any longer, Ed covered his face with his auto-mail and sobbed hard into his palm. Bowing his head, he hid within his hair while is left hand worked over his stomach. The pain was back, sharp and violent, while the rest of him felt numb and tingly.

Ed dimly heard the phone upstairs ringing insistently. On the third ring, Roy's chair scraped along the kitchen floor, and Ed heard him run up the steps to answer. He couldn't stop crying, and he couldn't seem to care. He'd never been attacked like this, where someone he cared about sought to rip his very heart out. He hiccuped again.

"Nooo...Roy..." Ed moaned and gasped. Even with Roy gone he couldn't move. He should just leave. Run away...back to his dorm, or maybe somewhere...else? But his feet were stubbornly ignoring his wishes. He was in denial. He couldn't believe that Roy wanted him gone. He couldn't!

His throat ached with his agony and the tears, more then he'd ever remembered shedding before, fell down on to his auto-mail making the scent of the metal more pronounced. Maybe...he didn't want him cause he wasn't whole. He never did try to fix this. Ed opened his eyes and looked at the palm covering his face. Roy complained bitterly about his cold auto-mail whenever he slept over so far this winter.

No. He was grasping at straws. This was too far out there. It didn't make any sense. Drawing in a shaky, meant to be calming, breath, Ed willed himself to calm down. Tears weren't helping. No way was Roy going to ditch him so easy. He'd never said anything like what Roy seemed to think he did, he was sure. Roy was being a bastard, and as much as he hated to admit it, Roy never did something without reason.

Roy came back downstairs then, and Ed let his right hand fall back to his side. Dressed in his uniform with his coat on, he had a roll of toilet paper in one hand. "That was Hakuro on the phone. He apparently doesn't care that I'm sick," said Roy, crossing the room to slap the roll against Ed's chest. "I need to go down and meet with Colonel Wolfe at South Central HQ and you're coming with me, so stop your whining and clean your face."

Ed meekly took hold of the roll and sniffled hard. Roy briskly walked back into the kitchen, and scooped up his mug, downing another mouth full before dumping the rest in the sink. He placed the mug on the counter. Ed could no longer look at Roy as he moved angrily around the kitchen, so he looked down at his feet.

"We'll need to walk over to the military garage and get a car," Roy said. Ed could hear him opening and closing drawers. "And drink the damn milk," he commanded briskly as he left the kitchen and approached the front door.

Wanting to appease Roy in some way, Ed sniffled around a ragged breath and went into the kitchen. He stood in front of the small glass, trying to work up the courage to down the vile stuff. With his stomach rolling, he thought he ought to do it now, and if he got sick, he was totally going to blame it on Roy. Picking up the glass, Ed threw the milk back, trying to not let it touch his tongue. He put the glass back and hurried out into the front room, where Roy was buttoning up his winter coat.

"Roy," Ed began hesitantly, his eyes firmly glued to the floor as he stopped behind Roy. Ed really wanted to reach out and grip the back of Roy's coat and bury his face in Roy's shoulder, but he refrained. He still felt the sting from Roy's harsh words, and couldn't bring himself to look him in the eye until he got his answer. "You're not really going to break up with me, right?" he pleaded.

Roy turned around, and snatched the toilet paper from his loose grip and ripped a few squares off. Ed's chin was tipped upwards, and Roy rubbed the tissue across his still wet cheeks with a little more force then Ed thought would have been necessary, making him grunt in displeasure. Dropping his hand, Roy turned to the door and threw it open.

"Hurry up, Fullmetal. I'm supposed to be in South Central in twenty minutes, and we still need to pick up the car."

"Roy!" badgered Ed. Roy was not going to get out of answering him, and he had slipped into work mode, calling him by his alias. That was never a good sign. "Talk to me!" he whined. Sniffling, Ed closed the door behind him. "You can't shut me out!" he called towards the brisk moving man.

He was starting to get angry again. He'd been floored by the way Roy had talked to him. He hadn't been expecting it. Would never have expected something like that to come from Roy! And he was embarrassed that Roy had made him cry so hard and so easily. Roy was already half way down the street, making Ed have to jog to make up the difference. Now Roy was trying to run away. He wasn't even waiting for him!

"Apparently, Havoc and Hawkeye are unavailable to drive us," Roy said as Ed came trotting up beside him.

"Roy!" Ed pulled on his arm to make Roy turn and talk to him. Quicker then Ed would have thought possible for an old guy, Roy reversed his hold and snatched his left wrist into a firm grip, dragging Ed off his feet.

"Fuck, Roy, slow down, and answer me for fuck's sake!" complained Ed, his feet catching on the sidewalk. Not wanting to end up with road burn, Ed had to pay attention to the ground momentarily while Roy maintained his hold on his arm.

Roy didn't stop until they were in front of the garage, all the while dragging Ed behind him. He opened the door with his free hand, and finally released his hold on Ed's arm. As Roy crossed the interior, he said over his shoulder, "What exactly is it that you want me to answer?"

Ed stepped across the threshold, and looked around. There were a few cars parked in the heated garage, all military issue black. Straightening his jacket, Ed pulled the messy tangle that was his hair back along his back. His arm throbbed from where Roy had held on to him, and he rubbed at it absently.

"I wanna know about us, I wanna hear that we're not breaking up," Ed said, taking another step into the garage, and closing the door. "What the fuck else is there?"

Roy walked back around the back of the cars, and pulled open the door to the driver's side of his assigned vehicle. "Get in," he ordered, and sat in the car, closing the door.

Fuck! Roy was avoiding answering him. That couldn't be a good sign. Ed frowned at the man through the windshield for a moment before he decided that, at least if he went, he could have it out with him and he wouldn't be able to run away anymore. Ed stomped over to the passenger side and got in, slamming the door. Folding his left leg under him, he turned on the bench seat and glared at Roy's profile. "And?" he bit out.

"And put on your seatbelt," Roy said, putting the car in gear.

Ed frowned. Roy was being such a jerk! And an asshole, a bastard, bloody fucking pea-sized—Ed's internal name calling festival was cut short when Roy jerked the car in reverse and cursed mightily under his breath before he could get the car in the correct gear and pulled out of the garage. So intent was he that Ed didn't even think about teasing Roy about his mistake.

Bracing himself on the dashboard, Ed glared at Roy's profile, no way was he going to walk all over him! "Stop stalling and tell me the God damn truth! Tell me you don't have feelings for me, huh! I know, you've never fucking said that you love me!" _I can't believe that I even considered telling you that I might be in love with you!_ thought Ed, but there was no way he was going to say that now after all that Roy had said to him.

It was painfully obvious that Roy had so little regard for him that he thought that he could treat Ed how ever he damn well liked. Well he wasn't going to make him cry anymore! In fact, maybe that was why he wasn't allowed to sleep over more then one night. Maybe Roy had been seeing other people as well...

"You're just looking for some easy ass, that you can treat however the fuck you like, without having to think about my feelings or emotions," ranted Ed. He griped the back of the bench seat with his left hand as Roy took a turn a little to fast, making him brace harder against the inertia. "I'm sure you've been all over town the whole time, fucking and screwing anything you could, haven't you!" Ed's voice rose as he let all his hurt and confusion come out in his attack.

"I can't believe I ever THOUGHT that I had strong emotions for you, you fucking bastard! And you tried to use Al against me! How the hell could you do that to me? To ME! You know how fucking hard I've worked to right that mistake, and you causally throw it in my face!" Ed flicked his hand in front of his face, and threw a disgusted glare at the man behind the wheel. "I should pound you for being the heartless bastard that you are!"

Without turning, Roy said as he drove, "That's right, Ed. I've never had feelings for you. I just wanted sex. That's why I've kept you around all this time. Because, we both know how _difficult_ it is for me to find someone to fuck."

Ed grit his teeth as Roy once again threw his past in his face, and his eyes narrowed even further in response. Maybe he should go out and fuck anything that moved and see how Roy liked it. That would show him! It wasn't at all nice to know that someone you cared about was testing the waters elsewhere. It made Ed seethe. If Roy wasn't driving...

"Very _brilliant_ deduction on your part. It just makes perfect sense that I would keep _you_ of all people as a fuck-pet while I went out and screwed the rest of the town," said Roy. No longer was he the picture of calm and control, now he burned hot with vicious sarcasm. "Good job. You're so brilliant, Ed. Now I see how you passed the state alchemist exam." Roy shook his head and pulled the car sharply to the left.

Ed glanced quickly out the front of the car as Roy recklessly maneuvered the car around a large pothole in the street. Wasn't Roy a bad driver...? He was starting to get slightly worried and began to tune out what Roy was saying as he watched the road with apprehension.

"But at least you've finally voiced the truth about you wanting to end this. And as for your brother," said Roy, pausing to slam his foot on the car break. The suddenness of it caused Ed's lower half to slide off the seat and under the dash. Ed pulled himself up and out, and looked up to see a street light shining red. He cast a worried glance across the car at Roy and wondered if maybe he should just jump out now before Roy did something.

"You're doing a fabulous job at telling yourself things to make you feel better," continued Roy unabated. "Keep going. Tell yourself what a bastard I am, and how of course Alphonse would never stay away from you. He's just too busy to talk to you. Of course. Being too busy for your own brother makes a whole lot of sense to me too."

Ed had just sat his bum back on the seat, when Roy slammed his foot down hard on the gas, throwing him backwards. The car jumped ahead. Ed's eyes flickered outside and widened in horror. A pedestrian was currently crossing the street! Tightening his hold on the back of the seat, Ed braced his auto-mail into the dash. Roy jerked the steering wheel hard and the car swerved around the frightened citizen.

"But go ahead. Hit me. Pound me for being a heartless bastard. Because, like you said, you have control over yourself."

"Fuck!" Ed looked out the back of the car, trying to see if the person was alright or not. The man shook his fist at their speeding car and seemed to be shouting at them. Ed couldn't blame him, he felt like doing the same. But only if he was out of the car and not moving. "Watch what your doing!" he admonished.

His heart was in his throat. Adrenaline pumped through his system at how close they had come to running someone down. Roy was really pissed... Ed had never seen him lose his temper this bad before. He was used to the calm, teasing side of Roy...not this. Maybe a little vein popping, a little cursing...but this?

"And, Ed..." The icy tone of Roy's voice dragged Ed's eyes away from the rear of the car over to Roy's face. He was staring so intently at him; it made him forget that they had almost hit someone. "Don't fault me for never saying something you've never said to me," Roy said.

The flat emotionless stare from Roy sent shivers down Ed's spine. The eyes that he loved to look into no longer held that sparkle anymore, and that made Ed feel remorse. It wasn't like Roy gave him any signals that he was feeling like that about him. Why should he be the one to put himself on a limb like that? He wasn't even sure what love was between a couple. How was he supposed to know if what he felt was really love or just some unknown, unnamed emotion. Was all this really his fault? Did he really cause all this? He couldn't believe it.

Movement on the street in his peripheral vision caught his attention and his eyes flickered towards it. Bloody...hell! Ed gasped silently, his eyes widening in horror. They had drifted across the median and were headed into on coming traffic. Ed griped the back of the seat in his left hand hard; he dimly noted Roy spinning around in this seat. The blue car directly in front of them blared its horn angrily at them and swerved.

Ed was thrown into the dash as their car braked hard, his right shoulder taking most of the impact. He didn't even have time to register the pain as something broke horribly in his auto-mail port before the whole car began to roll. The sound of screeching, protesting metal and breaking glass became all that he knew.

The vehicle lurched violently again and he was thrown hard into the seat back as the car was once again struck. Ed cracked his forehead hard on the back of the seat making him see stars, and gasped when he felt something slide all too easily through his back. No longer able to tumble around inside the car, he could only gasp at each movement and vibration until the car slid to a stop.

The silence and stillness was overpowering in it's completeness after the noise and chaos of a few moments ago. Blinking at his lap, Ed watched in fascination as drops of dark red liquid dripped down his face and into his lap. They dripped one after the other making a wide shallow puddle that was slowly being absorbed into the seat. He swallowed and tried to take a breath, but the very air seemed hard to draw into his lungs.

The delicate tinkling of broken glass intrigued him and he turned his head slightly to try to better catch the sound. The slight turning of his head caused the liquid to fall into a new place, down onto the floor where the carpet soaked it up. Weariness crept up on him then, and there didn't seem to be a logical reason why he shouldn't go to sleep.

"Ed..."

Hmm. He knew that voice. It was an important voice, but he couldn't remember why. Maybe if he saw who the voice belonged to it might make him remember better. Ed tried to push off the seat so he could lift his head, but that small movement sent blinding white hot pain down his body, making him freeze. That woke him up. Why did it hurt so much? His eyes widened in alarm. After a moment a black blanket was placed in his lap, making the red liquid start a new puddle within its fabric.

"Ed... You have to stay awake, okay?"

Stay awake? Why? Something brushed against his face, and pressed into his forehead. Oh! This was a different pain, but no less important. You shouldn't touch it! Ed rocked his head away from the probing touch, and closed his eyes. That's better...it's better with out pain. But it didn't last long. The pain was back as something wrapped around his head tight.

"Edward!"

Ed blinked owlishly, as his head was brought up, and he could finally see who the voice belonged too. Ah! It was Roy. That was good. Roy was good to have here. Maybe he'd find out why he hurt so much... Despite having difficultly breathing, Ed began to rapidly gulp for more oxygen.

"Recite the basic rules of alchemy to me," Roy said, stroking his cheek.

"Ugh..." groaned Ed in pain. "Um..." Ed swallowed. The what? What does Roy want from me now? He tried to lift his right hand to bat at Roy's hold on his chin, and frowned. Rolling his head down to his right shoulder, he looked at what should have been a working arm, but instead it was horribly twisted and mangled in the socket, his coat doing little to hide the wrongness of it.

"Um..." mumbled Ed, frowning at his arm. What was he supposed to say again...? His head was once again lifted, and he blinked at Roy, confused, hoping that Roy would sort this all out for him. It was incredibly hard to think right now, so...what? Roy reached out and started stroking his hair. Hmm, he always did like that.

"Just look at me, then. Look into my eyes and stay awake okay? Help will be here soon," Roy murmured.

Ed could only blink tiredly at Roy. Small tremors attacked his body; each shift increasing the pain exponentially. Why would help be coming? That didn't make any sense. "R-r-roy..." Ed stuttered, his teeth chattering against each other. Why was it so cold?

Roy stroked Ed's hair for a moment before leaning in to place a kiss on his forehead. When he pulled back he stared intently into Ed's eyes. "That's right. I'm here, Ed. Now just stay awake..."

Yeah, Roy was here...but didn't he want to leave? It was all so confusing and jumbled up. The tremors were becoming more pronounced, and he finally knew why he hurt. He could feel it. Every twisted inch of it... "Wha-w-what...?" Looking down at his left side, Ed could see a jagged piece of metal protruding from his lower stomach to pierce the top of his leg.

Red gore and flesh clung to the edges. Ed could actually _see_ parts of his insides clinging to the metal. It was amazing! His left hand pulled itself away from behind his back, and reached out to touch, what looked like a bit of his intestines. He wondered if it was as spongy as it really looked or was it just sort of slimy cause of the blood.

"Don't touch it," Roy softly commanded, catching Ed's hand before he could reach it. "Leave it there. It will bleed more if we pull it out and I'm not a doctor..." Roy gently lifted Ed's chin once more and placed a kiss on to his forehead. "Stay with me..." Roy pleaded, kissing his forehead again. "Stay awake..."

_'Stay with him'?_, Ed thought, blinking slowly, forgetting about his discovery. Was he supposed to go somewhere? He tried to focus on Roy's face, but it swam in front of him. "Roy...you w-want me?" Ed did his best to focus on the face in front of him so he could better understand the answer... What was the question again?

Roy blinked rapidly before answering. "Yes, Ed. I want you, I've always wanted you... I..." Roy faltered. Sniffling he reached out and patted Ed's cheek. "Just stay awake."

"You're n-n-not mad?" stuttered Ed, panting now. It seemed really important that he know this and quickly. It felt as though time was running out. Darkness was creeping into the edges of his vision now. Swallowing hard, his dry tongue slipped past his lips to try and moisten them. He was so thirsty.

Laying Ed's hand down by his side gently, Roy used the sleeve of his dress shirt to wipe his face. "I'm not mad," said Roy, his voice wobbly. "I'm not mad, so just stay awake."

That was good to know. If Roy was mad at him then when he went to sleep he'd be worried that he'd be sad. He really wanted Roy to be happy. Yeah, Roy should be happy. "Good..." Ed's voice trailed off, and he finally gave in and let his eyes close.

--To Be Continued-- ?

Don't forget to check out ZaKai's version, which can be found via my profile... O.o Don't hate us!

REVIEW PLEASE XD...for both of us!


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer: I don't own...Willing to marry into the family though.

**Roy's dialog belongs to ZaKai. Be sure to check out Roy's POV for his side of this via my profile XD**

**Chapter 07**

Chaos. The metaphysical concept of disorder, or utter confusion. That was what Ed first noticed. The chaos of noise, the chaos of shadows moving through the light under his eyelids, the chaos of touch and smell. He could smell gasoline, sweat, and blood. He could hear people moving around, talking, but it was only noise. He could feel the hard seat below him, knew the feel of his coat on his skin, but there was something...wrong. Something...abnormal.

"Careful, now. Cut so you don't jostle him too much," said a voice cutting through the noise. Ed moved his eyes beneath his eyelids, trying to find a meaning in what had been said, and failing. The voices faded back into the distance, becoming an insistent buzzing in his ears.

The drone rose in pitch, and he could feel the sound traveling down through his body. He could smell metal as it began to heat up and as the sensation grew, it drew him out of his stupor making his eyes fly open. He took one second to blearily look around before filling his lungs and letting loose with a horse cry of pain that rose up over the other noises.

"He's awake!"

"Stop the saw! Stop the saw!"

"Quick, some morphine!"

Whatever it was that was causing him pain stopped, leaving his body buzzing with the remembered sensations. Someone unknown to Ed moved though the driver's side door and approached him with a syringe. With a grunt, Ed swallowed. The pain was making it hard to see straight, and he didn't know what was happening.

Looking out the front of the nonexistent windshield, Ed saw many people standing around looking at him. They pointed at him, and at the car. He could see their mouths moving, but the crowd was too far away to hear what they were saying. Panting, his chest heaving, Ed shifted his gaze back to the person in front of him.

"Calm down, Edward. I'm just going to take the edge off," said the woman holding the needle up for Ed to see. Ed stared at the tip, or tired to, blinking rapidly as his vision swam. "You've been in an accident and you were injured," continued the woman. "I'm here to help you."

Ed just stared at her, his mouth open in confusion. An accident...? Behind him, someone began to tug at his clothing, making him turn his head to look awkwardly over his shoulder. A man was hacking away at his coat with a scalpel. He turned back around when he felt a hand on his left arm, pushing up the sleeve.

"Nngh!" Ed pulled his hand away from the woman's grip. Panic was finally staring to hit him. Nothing made sense. Why was he in a car that looked like this? Why were these strangers here? His eyes danced around the mangled car and outside, to the people standing around, gawking.

"This isn't good. We got to get him out of here, Sherry," said the man at Edward's back. "He'll tank if this keeps up."

"I know."

Ed's arm was tugged back towards the woman and the needle was quickly inserted into his vein before he knew what was going on. He was too busy staring at all the faces around him to react. Almost immediately the high, loud noise started up and the vibrations were back. Only now, they didn't bother Ed near as much. When the movement stopped, Ed's jacket, along with his shirt was pulled off and discarded to the floor of the car.

Someone put their hands under his arms and he was lifted out of the car, backwards, and put on a stretcher near the front tire. More people were moving around him, touching him. His left arm was held up and someone inserted something into the back of his hand, and then attached a tube to a glass jar. The voices around him faded away, making him frown as he tried to understand what was being said. He could see everyone's lips moving, but no sound was coming out.

More hands and people swirled around him. Too many people were touching him. He didn't like to be touched so much. Not if he didn't know them, and he was _sure_ he didn't know any of these people. The woman from inside the car began to cut away at his pants, ripping them down the front of the leg. Someone was behind him, pressing on his back. His heart rolled in his chest, making him want to cough.

With his chest heaving, Ed watched the woman work on his leg and then move up to his stomach. When her face started to turn green before his eyes, quickly taking on the appearance of a lizard's, Ed tried to push her and the gauze in her hand away.

"No! Stop! Leave me alone! Don't touch me, Envy!" Ed kicked out with his leg and caught a passing medic in the gut. He began to shuffle awkwardly to the end of the stretcher, trying to get away.

"Is he hallucinating? How much did you give him?" asked the dog-man that was coming towards him. His wrist was lifted and forced down, while someone pulled his legs out from under his body, stretching him out on his right side. "Strap him down," the dog-man said. Once again, everyone's voice stopped even though their mouths kept moving.

Ed stared up into the snout that was over his face, and then it moved away, and he was no longer able to move. "Don't! Stop!" cried Ed tugging weakly at the bindings on his left hand and legs. The stretcher was lifted and the next thing Ed saw was white metal.

"Keep 'im talking, Sherry. Don't let 'im fall asleep."

"Edward." The lizard girl was back, bending over him to look at his face. "My name's Sherry. You've been in an accident, and have been badly injured. Do you understand? Edward? I want you to keep looking at me, okay?" The lizard girl reached out and began to touch his face, making Ed whimper from the unwanted contact. "I know. It hurts. Please bear with us. We're taking you to the hospital now, where they'll fix you up, okay?"

Her voice faded. There was too much going on, and Ed couldn't keep up. Nothing made sense. Ed continued to watch the lizard's mouth move, her tongue sometimes slipping out to taste the air. Then the confusing bits drifted away, and Ed was playing on a grassy hill with his brother, their mother yelling at them from the clothes line to come in to wash up for dinner.

* * *

With a violent, full body twitch, Edward Elric's eyes snapped open. He had the feeling that he had been dreaming for sometime now; weird, confused images that blended and combined into a mix of his usual nightmares. Whatever he'd been dreaming about it was quickly fading to the point that he couldn't even remember what they were about. Only the lingering sense of horrors lived and re-lived was left with him now.

He slowly focused his eyes on the bed frame in front of his face in confusion. There wasn't a second twin bed in his dorm. His eyes flickered up to the very high, unfamiliar ceiling and then down to the empty chair near his feet, and a curtain that was placed at the foot of his bed. His gaze moved past the chair to another row of beds lined up under tall windows on the other side of the room. Where the fuck was he? And how the hell did he get here? He looked back towards the bed beside him and down the room filled with beds all the way to the double doors at the end.

He was currently laying on his right side, nestled against several flat pillows. A thin blanket was pulled up to his waist, leaving his upper body feeling a bit chilled. Pulling his left hand up from beside his stomach, Ed planted his palm into the mattress and pushed. Though his body felt weak and exhausted, he didn't pay it any mind. He needed to find out why he was here, and he couldn't see anyone around.

Gasping in surprise at the supreme tenderness in his stomach and back, he halted his attempt. What was that? The sterile feel of the beds, the standard issue metal bed frames, even the cheep, scratchy bed sheets, all felt familiar. Then...maybe he was in a hospital.

Settling back into the pillows weakly, Ed looked down his chest. Reaching down to pull at his pale green shirt, Ed noticed the tubes attached to his arm on the back of his hand, and he titled his arm so he could see it better. He then looked up near his head and saw two glass jars hanging upside down and dripping some sort of fluid into his veins.

Returning to his investigation, he began lifting the fabric of his shirt to find out what was wrong with him. A large bulky bandage, taped to his side, was covering his lower left part of his stomach. He could see rusty red in the very center as whatever wound was under there seeped blood through all the gauze to the top. Tenderly he began to touch around the bandages to see how far the soreness extended.

He bit his lip in concentration. Seems it went pretty far; almost extending to his lower rib cage. He probed below his waist and found that even his leg was tender as well. He could feel another bandage on the top of his left leg, and winced when he pressed a bit too hard. Even his shoulder hurt when he moved his arm. Three wounds all along one side... Strange...

Weakly pulling the shirt back into place, Ed looked over his shoulder and then back to the doors at the end of the room. Where was everyone? He had about a million questions that he wanted to ask. Some of these beds looked used, with rumbled sheets and pillows, so where was everyone?

Ed waited patently for a few moments before he became frustrated with being patient. With a large sigh, he planted his arm into the mattress once again, and despite the pain, slowly pushed him self into a sitting position. Panting, he ran his hand over his forehead to wipe at the sweat there when his fingers caught on another bandage. He frowned at that, making his head ache. A head wound too? What happened to me? Did I get in a fight? His fingers rubbed over his forehead while he tried to think of who he might have been fighting.

It was then that he noticed that his auto-mail arm was gone. He felt a flare of irritation that the hospital staff would disconnect his arm like that. Why bother? It was just as easy to leave it there. Ed couldn't think of any reason why the staff would have had to take it off if he was injured in the back and stomach on the _left_ side. It didn't make sense. He ran his hand over the port quickly and then let his hand fall down to his lap.

Working his legs free of the thin blanket, he swung them over the side of the bed and looked at the linoleum floor below him. It seemed like a long way down, but Ed knew that it _really_ wasn't, but even still...sitting up had drained him. He slouched over his knees, blandly staring at the floor and wishing someone would come along.

Where was everyone? Where was Roy? Didn't he know he was in the hospital? What about Al? Did he know? He hoped that Roy would have told his brother. Maybe they were out getting something to eat. Maybe it's lunch time. He looked at his bedside table and saw a collection of cards and one small flower arrangement with a single red rose. If he had his right arm he would have reached out to look at them, but the thought of twisting around in order to reach them just made him more tired.

_So I guess someone knows I'm here, going by that_, he thought. Ed sighed. He started to feel kinda lonely here all by himself. Where is Roy? Why wasn't he here with him? Didn't he care? Ed sniffled against an intense and sudden feeling of loss. He felt like bawling his eyes out and he couldn't figure out why. Well, if Roy wasn't here, he'd go and find him. Wiping at his moist eyes, Ed shuffled his bum towards the edge of the bed until he was perched on the very cusp of the mattress. With a small hop, Ed landed shakily on the cold tiles, his left leg almost collapsing to the floor if not for the grip he had on the bedding.

Pulling the needle out with small jerk of his teeth, he let the tubes fall to away. He hardly noticed the pain of that small irritation compared to the other complaints of his body. Trailing his hand down the bed covers, Ed shuffled between his bed and the next, around the chair, out into the walkway in the middle of the room. He reached across his body to hold on the bed frame at the end of next bed over, swaying slightly.

"Hey!" he croaked hoarsely at the door at the far end. His throat was raw and dry. Not conductive to speaking at all. Swallowing, he lurched forward. "Anyone there?" Ed rasped. Panic and fear warred within him. Where was Roy? As he passed one bed for the next, his left hand continued to grip at the plain metal bars of each bed's footboard. "Anyone!" he shouted as loud as his voice would allow.

He took a shuddering breath, and an involuntary sob gasped from his mouth. Gripping the frame of the fifth bed he had passed, he leaned into it with his right hip. His vision became blurry, and his chin fell forward onto his chest. He was all alone! There was no one here. No Al, no Roy, not even any sign of Winry or Pinako. Tears fell freely onto the floor and the tops of his toes. What could he do now? He'd barely walked a few feet and he was ready to curl up and pass out. More tears ran down his cheeks. He didn't want to be the only one here. Someone, anyone...

He sank painfully down to the floor to rest on his knees, letting his hand fall before him to support his weight. His bound hair slid over his shoulder unnoticed. _Roy! Dammit! Where the fuck are you?_ he thought in distress. He knew he was being irrational. Crying like this, and pushing his obviously wounded body past what it could handle, but wasn't that the point of being irrational? Doing stupid things was his specialty after all. That thought just made him cry a little harder. When was he going to grow up? Why was he reacting like such a kid?

"Whaa! You're a jerk, Tommy!" a shrill girl's voice cried.

Ed looked up through his bangs, with a sniffle, his sobs forgotten, and watched a small girl with her brown hair in fat, bouncing pig-tails come running in through the door at the end of the hall; her arm in a cast with a sling over her neck, and a stuffed black teddy bear in her other hand. Her soft rubber shoes squeaked on the tiled floor as she pelted towards him. She was the first person he saw since waking up, and it was a little kid...not Roy, but a small girl.

"Hey...hey, you," croaked Ed. He didn't much care that his face was wet with tears, he just needed help and some answers. If this kid could help him out... "Can you help me—get an adult, or something."

The young girl skidded to a stop and stared wide eyed at him, clearly startled to see him. Clutching the teddy to her body, she blinked at him stupidly, in Ed's opinion. She then turned around, running at the door, screaming, "Whaa! The dead kid's alive!"

"That wasn't very nice," mumbled Ed. He breathed in as shallowly as he could, letting his eyes go unfocused as he looked at the molted colors of the floor beneath him. His wounds were starting to tingle with pain, growing in intensity with each passing moment. But that was okay, he'd had much worse.

"What's the meaning of this, Kelly. I've told you not to run in the halls, but you continue to disobey me—"

"But, Nurse Hunter, the dead kid's on the floor."

Ed looked up as the loud voices approached the door. The door opened and the nurse, followed by the same little girl stood looking at him.

"Could use some help here," croaked Ed when neither of them moved.

"What are you doing out of bed? You've been _seriously_ injured," the nurse, a large, brisk looking woman admonished, spurned into action at the sound of his voice. Her steely gray hair was pulled away from her face into a severe bun at the back of her head, with her small round spectacles perched on the bridge of her nose.

"What if your wounds re-opened?" she scolded, hurrying to his side to kneel beside him. She brushed his hair off his face so that she could look at him, tilting his head towards her. "Let me see," she commanded and lifted his shirt from the back. Panting softly, Ed bore all her prodding, his eyes coming to rest on the small girl who was standing a short distance away.

"What happened to me?" asked Ed as the nurse gripped him firmly under his arm, pulling him to his feet.

"You've been in an accident. By all accounts, a very horrible accident."

"I don't remember," mumbled Ed shuffling along the floor in his bare feet.

"I should say not! You've knocked your head so hard that you've given yourself a _very_ serious concussion. Now, I need to know, now that you're awake, what's the last thing you remember clearly?"

"I remember..." Ed thought back, trying to sort through the fog of his memories. The last thing he remembered...it was the day after his blow up at Roy, he'd gotten a muffin and coffee...they had sex, and then... Ed stumbled over his feet. Roy had attacked him, said all those things to him. Al hated him. "I remember leaving the house and then no more," said Ed gruffly.

"And your name is?" she prompted.

"Edward Elric," he answered.

"How old are you?"

"Seventeen and a half," said Ed, his lips jerking into a smirk as he remembered that night on New Year's Eve when he'd proudly boasted about his age to Roy.

The nurse steered him to the bed, turning him around and helping him sit. "Now, listen here young man," the nurse began. Ed looked up at her stern face, feeling very little considering that he seemed to be in trouble yet again. "I don't want to see you out of this bed again, you hear me?"

"Or what?" he asked numbly.

"Or I'll strap you to it." The woman pushed him onto his side, adjusting the pillows for his comfort, and pulling the blanket over his legs. "Alright, I'll tell the doctor about this. I'm sure he'll give you a more through examination later." The nurse turned and then stopped short. Clicking her tongue she scooped up his hand, shaking her head at it. "You even pulled out your IV, and look what you've done to the back of your hand. Now we're going to have to use the vein in your arm. I'll be right back."

Ed lifted his hand up to look at what he'd done. Blood had dried over the top of his hand, trailing down between his fingers. The wound did look quite mangled. It didn't bother him none. He was used to being poked and worked on. A few more holes in his veins didn't bother him. Ed let his eyes close while he quietly tried to manage his growing pain.

"Did it hurt?"

Slowly, Ed opened his eyes to look at the girl hovering beside his head, clutching her bear under her chin. "What?" The small girl reached out and touched his auto-mail leg lightly. "A little..." whispered Ed.

"I might have to get one, if my arm doesn't heal right," explained the girl. "But it's really expensive; dad is working really hard to make sure we have enough money." Ed nodded. "We all thought you were dead, cause you didn't move for so long. That man was always yelling at the nurses and causing trouble."

"What man?"

"The man from the military. Dad didn't like that he was hanging around, he doesn't like them," whispered the girl.

That had to be Roy. "Where is he—the military man? Has he been here yet today?" questioned Ed. The girl shook her head hard enough to make her pig-tails slap against her face. Ed sighed.

"Alright, that's enough, Kelly," the nurse said when she returned. The small girl was shooed out of the way and the woman went to work reinserting the IV needle and reattaching the dip, and then placing a piece of tape over the whole thing to hold it in place. "It's good to see you awake. You had us very worried while your fever spiked at 104.6 °F."

"That bad?" asked Ed drowsily. He could feel the cool drip of the liquid enter his arm and start to work it's magic, making his pain drift away.

"Very."

"How long have I been here?" Ed asked, remembering the girl's comments about Roy hanging around. She made it sound like he'd been here forever.

"Going on four weeks now," said the nurse, fussing over him for a few moments more, before leaving him to rest.

He'd _lost_ four weeks! He tried to warp his head around what the woman had just told him. How was that even possible? Ah, and he forgot to ask what exactly had happened to him. He'd have to try and...remember...to ask...the next...

Whatever was in the IV had begun to work on him, letting the pain he'd been feeling fade away. His mind began to drift in a drug induced daze. He faintly registered the chirping of the winter birds outside, and he shivered from the slight chill coming from the window near his head. Sharp, fast heels clicked down the room towards him, making Ed open his eyes slowly to see an older, portly man, with a full head of gray hair, stride towards him.

"Good morning, Edward. I'm Dr. Maple, how are you feeling?" the man asked kindly.

"Heavy...and slow," said Ed. He frowned and then said, "And thirsty."

Dr. Maple chuckled good-naturedly, and scooped up his hand, placing two fingers over the inside of his wrist. "That's understandable." He pulled out a pocket watch from his pant pocket and clicked it open. "Pulse seems normal," the doctor said after a moment. "Now follow my finger with your eyes," he directed, which Ed did. "Good...and I'll just test your reflexes."

The doctor flipped up the blanket at the end of the bed and pulled out his pen, quickly running it up the underside of Ed's flesh foot. The doctor nodded happily when Ed jerked his foot away. He replaced the blankets and said, "Well, everything looks good. There was some speculation that you might have some brain damage, since you were unconscious for almost ten minutes at the scene of the accident. With everything else we had to deal with in order to save your life, we couldn't do more than x-ray your skull for the time being. There were no signs of hemorrhaging or swelling, nor any skull fractures, so we remained hopeful that that wouldn't be a further complication."

"What happened to my side, and back?" asked Ed, placing his hand gingerly over his stomach, after he had digested all of the doctor's explanation.

"Quite horrific. A section of the car door came loose and impaled you from behind. The surgeons had a terrible time getting it out of you, and then repairing the torn organs. There were a couple of tense moments during surgery, but you fought very hard. The driver, Colonel Roy Mustang, got off a tad better." Ed blanched. Shit, it sounded like he could have died. Roy was with him? "Well, I have to see another child who's just getting out of surgery, but I'll be back to speak with you later."

Ed watched the doctor leave for a moment before letting his eyelids slide closed. He hoped Roy would get here soon. He wanted to speak with him, make sure they were good. He missed him, and he really wanted Roy to cuddle with him on the bed, but knowing him, he'd not want to do that so out in public. Maybe holding hands...yeah, that sounded fine. With that in mind, he slipped into a light doze.

Someone else entered the room after a time, waking Ed enough for him to notice, but not fully. The slow uneven steps, and a mismatched clunk was quickly dismissed, and he started to fall back into sleep when he heard the shuffle and a chair creak right beside him. When he finally got his eyes to open he saw Roy.

Ah, hell, it was good to see Roy. His eyes ran up and down the man's body taking in all the changes. He had his head in one hand resting his elbow on his knee and the other in a white plaster cast. A crutch was leaning on his thigh, and Ed noticed a knee brace on his left leg. Even dressed in civvies, Ed could tell that Roy was looking very haggard, and thin. Ed hated that. Roy was such a commanding presence in not only his life but others as well, that to see him beaten down like this, to see him broken, was terribly hard to see.

Shifting a bit to ease his growing discomfort in his side, Ed, in his typical brilliant fashion, said the first thing to come to mind. "Hey...you look like shit," said Ed, forcing the words past his bone dry throat.

He watched in slight amusement as Roy's head jerked up and he looked on him in surprise. A ghost of a fond smile pulled at Ed's tired face, as Roy turned away to swallow and then looked back at him. Ah, those eyes, he loved Roy's eyes. So dark, so hard to understand what was going on behind those eyes. Those were still the same.

"Yeah...I guess I do," Roy said quietly, before looking away again. Yeah, Roy had a good profile too, Ed mused. That hadn't changed, either. He turned back to look Ed in the eyes. "How long have you been awake?" he asked.

Geez, start with the hard questions, eh? He mentally tried to tally up how long he'd been awake, but in the end he didn't have a clue. "Um...like an hour? I don't know, my pocket watch ain't here." Ed chuckled then, remembering the way he had been 'yelled' at by the nurse. "I got in trouble..." he said, wanting to share his mistake with Roy because he thought it was funny. "I guess you're not supposed to get outta bed when you're messed up, go figure."

But instead of laughing with him, Roy nodded and averted his eyes. "I should have warned the nurses that you were a handful," said Roy softly.

The way Roy said that, so like how they used to play back and forth with their words, but different. It was more sad, more painful, more...defeated. It made Ed truly worry about what was going to happen to them now. It seemed that Roy couldn't even look at him. Was it that bad?

Ed's heart beat heavy and slow beneath his chest. It seemed that the next beat wouldn't come, until it did, painfully. Ah, his body couldn't take this right now. Adrenaline pumped sluggishly throughout his system, making him edgy, but not being able to do anything about it. Lifting his hand from the bed, Ed weakly pulled some of his bangs back that had fallen into his face and tucked it behind his ear. How to deal with this...how to make it right.

"I was told what happened...I don't remember it..." confessed Ed, letting his hand fall back to the mattress. "It sounded awful." He hoped Roy hadn't been too upset that day. Maybe he hadn't seen him messed up. He could tell he was getting shaky, and tried to calm down. "Are you alright?" asked Ed, wondering if Roy's injures were as bad as they looked.

Roy looked at him. "Yeah..." said Roy softly. "Of course, I'm fine." Roy paused, seeming to think of something. "And you?" he asked, and shook his head. "I mean, obviously you're not alright, but..."

"I've had worse," said Ed with a sardonic smile. How much worse can one get then having a leg ripped from your body and then going back for more to willingly give your arm to save your younger brother. Or how about getting auto-mail, and having someone play with your nerves like they were marbles. This was nothing really. And to distract Roy, he asked, "What'd they do with my arm? Seems stupid to take it off."

Roy rubbed his hand over his face before moving it through his hair. Ed watched the hair fall back into place over Roy's forehead, noting the scabs scattered across his face. Yep, Roy had definitely lost some weight. He could see it in his face.

"It was damaged in the accident. You'll have to get the Rockbell girl to fix it for you," said Roy, not meeting his eyes.

Oh damn. That wasn't what he wanted to hear, not at all. "Well, fuck," he cursed, forgetting about his inspection of Roy's face. He'd been hoping that it was just in a cupboard somewhere, waiting to be put back in. This changed things dramatically. "She's going to kill me—" said Ed. Holy crap, Winry was going to lay into him big time for this. He could just picture how'd she react upon seeing him all busted up. Which made him wonder if they even knew yet that he was here. "Did you tell them yet? Does Al know?" Ed paused as another thought came to him. Al wasn't here, that much was obvious, was it because he didn't like Ed anymore?

"Hey, come closer. I wanna hold your hand...please," begged Ed. He wasn't used to feeling insecure, and he just wanted to know that no matter where he and his brother stood, Roy would be here for him...he hoped. He realized that Roy was coming to mean a whole hell of a lot more to him then he would have thought possible, even rivaling Al's spot in his heart, which had to have taken a lot to manage that one.

Roy looked at him funny, making Ed swallow weakly. He reached out his hand towards the man, willing him to come closer. After a moment of contemplation, Roy pulled his chair forward and stretched his arm towards Ed's own waiting hand.

"I tried..." said Roy, letting Ed place his hand in Roy's. "Calls were made to the Rockbell residence, but it seems that your brother and Miss Rockbell are away from the house. The old woman said she'd try to get a message to them."

Ed gave Roy's hand a weak squeeze. It was a bit unnerving just how weak he had become. He, who was always strong, for his brother, for himself, was now weaker than the kittens Al loved. Irony sucked. But the thought of Al reminded him of the things Roy had said to him. That Al was afraid of him.

Al had gone to Roy with his concerns, and that hurt. Really bad. The two most important men in his life were going behind his back. He could forgive Al, even if he hated him. Hell, he could even forgive Roy for not telling him sooner, he just needed to know what was on Al's mind.

"You and Al are close, eh?" asked Ed lowly. "You talk a lot? Don't you?" he pressed, desperate to know just what Al had said to Roy. Ed watched closely, wanting to catch any hint of what was going on in Roy's face.

Roy flinched and looked down at the bedding. "No..." said Roy faintly.

Ed breathed out loudly. Okay, so at least they weren't close. Al was _his_ little brother after all. He shouldn't turn to anyone but him. That's the way brothers worked. Maybe Al just couldn't find a way to say anything to him. He knew that he was like that sometimes. "But he told you, didn't he? How much he hates me. What did he tell you?" asked Ed, his voice cracking with his hurt. Ed swallowed, trying to retain some control. "Please, just tell me what he said."

Roy gave his hand a squeeze and then stood abruptly, limping over to the window beside his night table to lean his forehead on the glass. Oh God. That can't be good. Roy looked so miserable. What had Al said?

'_All you think about is yourself, and you don't even stop to consider what someone else might be thinking or feeling. I don't know why I thought this could ever work... You're obviously not interested in having a mature relationship._' Roy had said that about him that day. He'd hurt Roy too...somehow...he'd been careless with his dealings with Roy, done something... He'd have to apologize.

"I hurt you too... Roy--" Ed pulled at the bedding in order to be able to look at Roy's back. "I...I'm sorry. I don't remember everything from that day, but I didn't mean to hurt you." He must have done something after he left the house that day, something he couldn't remember. Did he say something? Do something? He could see himself getting all riled up and blowing up at Roy, especially after what happened. Sure he was mad about all the things Roy had said to him, but he felt that now was not the time to bring that up.

It was still madding not being able to recall.

"I—I just didn't know. I've never been in a relationship before. I didn't know that you—" Ed chuckled at himself humorlessly. "Couldn't read my mind. This is all cause of that stupid dare..." Why had he instigated that? He should have known better then to taunt Roy like that. He knew that Roy could be just as stubborn as he was, he should have said something, or done something sooner, then they wouldn't be where they were now. He wouldn't feel like he was walking on eggshells while speaking with Roy.

"Ed..." Roy began, and then stopped. Ed looked up awkwardly from his position on the bed, waiting for Roy to continue. "I lied to you when I said that about your brother," said Roy, his voice deep and raw with emotion.

What? What! He...he lied? As shocked as he felt, a small coil of fear unwound, knowing that Al still loved him. On the heels of that thought, another coil of anger wound tight.

"I should have walked away. I should have let you leave, but I didn't. This isn't your fault. None of it is," finished Roy, still pressing his forehead into the window pane.

"W-what? But why? What happened? You..." his voice faded. You never do anything without reason...right? What's the reason? Ed couldn't take craning his neck any longer. Placing his hand into the mattress, he pushed his weak body into a sitting position with a groan of pain. Ah, his stomach, nor his shoulder, liked that at all. The bandages pulled at his skin, accentuating his tenderness, and he swore that he could feel the stitches stretch. "Why?" asked Ed again, sitting now, watching Roy's back.

Roy lifted his hand and seemed to massage his face. "Ed, listen..." Roy said, his voice painful for Ed to hear. It was so hurt, and then he paused. "I'm not a good person," he continued quietly. "I...I have a bad habit of saying things I shouldn't when I'm mad. I thought I could control that with you. I've just tried to walk away when I was angry, but..." Roy shook his head and said no more.

Yeah, Roy had done that a lot. Just, all of a sudden walking away from Ed. He'd done it for a few little things since New Year's, but the last major time he done that was at the Legion after their misunderstanding. He could never understand why Roy did that. Sometimes it would make Ed even madder, other times he'd be left feeling confused and unsure.

Maybe it was because Roy was unsure as well. Maybe Roy didn't know how he felt about him...maybe he should try and make Roy understand how he felt about him.

"So...was any of what you said true? You still want to be with me, right?" questioned Ed, remembering that Roy had tried to cast him out. Roy was so far away, he had to get closer. He slid his legs across the bed and dangled them over the side. Alright, if Roy needed to hear it, then he'd have to say it. He just hoped he could.

"I...I..." he said, faltering. Come on, Edward, do it. "_Really_ like you," he said in a whisper that he was sure Roy heard anyway. Not quite what he intended, but it should get the point across. He could feel his face heat up, and in his nervousness, he bowed his head and began to play with his lip.

"It might be better if you found someone else to be with; someone who will treat you the way you deserve," Roy said.

Ed had been staring at the floor, waiting for a similar confession out of Roy, but what he heard had his head jerking up to stare at the back of Roy's black hair in astonishment. What the hell is this? Could it be that Roy really hadn't felt anything for him? At all? In all the time they were together, he felt nothing? "No..." he whispered his denial.

No, there were times that Roy was very tender with him. He even got him an amazing book for the holidays. A rare book about Xianian fighting techniques that Ed had spent hours looking at and reading. If he was uncared for, why go to all the trouble and money to get him something like that? And what about how Roy held him through the night whenever he slept over? Why would someone be so tender if they didn't have feelings for him?

"No! I won't accept that!" yelled Ed, jumping from the bed in his anger and distress. He would take Roy's shirt in his hands and shake the bastard for making him feel like this. When his feet landed on the cold tiles, his left leg buckled, and to his horror he pitched forward and collapsed on the floor, a small grunt of pain passing his lips as his body protested such harsh treatment.

"Didn't you just tell me you were to stay in bed?" asked Roy, his hand entering Ed's line of sight.

Ed glanced at the hand hanging down by his head. Why would Roy hurry over to help him, when he couldn't move well, if he didn't feel something for him? It must have been hard to maneuver with that crutch, and yet, here he was trying to help him up. Ed pulled his legs up and under him, favoring his left.

Cradling his stomach with his hand, Ed panted shallowly, frowning at the floor. That had to be it. Roy _did_ care for him. Maybe even a lot... "You're lying," stated Ed, still not meeting Roy's gaze nor reaching for his hand.

"Are you going to take my hand or not?" gritted Roy.

"I don't believe you! Why are you even here if you don't care?" shouted Ed, finally looking up at the man hovering over him. His eyes teared up as he looked into Roy's scabbed-over face. "Fuck, why can't I stop crying today?" cursed Ed in frustration as his emotions threatened to overwhelm him for the second time today. He hated to have Roy see him like this. His body was already so weak; he didn't want to be weak with his emotions too. He turned away to scrub at his face.

He struggled to calm himself enough to be able to deal with this but his throat was closing up faster then he would imagine it was possible. He...he needed to—needed a distraction. These drugs were too numbing. Physical pain ought to clear his head.

Growling at himself, Ed lifted his arm up and buried his face in the crook of his elbow. He used his teeth once again to pull the needle out, and spit it to the floor. Ah, that burned, more than the first time. It helped to bring him back from the edge, focusing him on what was going on now. Not sparing a glance at Roy, Ed rolled weakly over onto his hand and knees, and began to shuffle towards the end of the bed and away from Roy.

At the foot of the bed, Ed reached up and glumly used all his strength to get his wobbly feet under him and stand. Was it just his imagination or did those drugs wear off already? He wanted to feel, but damn, everywhere was hurting.

"Roy...or should I call you Mustang?" asked Ed, his voice becoming hard and strong in the face of his pain. He stared across the room at the unused beds without really seeing them.

"I suppose you should, Fullmetal," answered Roy in his smooth, soft voice.

"You're such a fucking bastard. Was I only your fuck pet? Eh?" demanded Ed, his voice getting loud. He glared at Roy from over his right shoulder. "You said you only wanted to fuck me in the beginning, right? What? You find something younger, more pleasant? A woman? A boy?" questioned Ed, his words like poison on his tongue. "Come on, tell me!"

He could feel his anger spiraling out of control, and he couldn't take the rush of such powerful emotions in his state. He was starting to black out, getting light headed and feeling wobbly. He had to anchor himself. He squeezed the metal footboard as hard as he could, trying to prevent another fall.

Roy limped past him and started to walk down the middle of the room. Ed watched him warily. Was he just going to leave it like this? Then Roy stopped.

"That's right," said Roy, again with his soft, now flat voice. "That's all you were to me. Now, get back to bed and let your body heal so that you can find someone who really..." Roy trailed off. "Loves...you..." he finished and continued down the hall towards the door.

Watching Roy's back move further away, and finally out the door, Ed started to sway more, as the edges of his vision began to whiten. He wouldn't believe that Roy didn't have any feelings for him, at all. It just wasn't possible. He already _had_ found someone who loved him... _Ah, shit_, he thought slowly, unable to finish that thought. _Gonna...faint..._ He barely registered letting go of the bed frame before he knew no more.

--To Be Continued--

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	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own...what made you think I did?

**Roy's, and for this chapter, General Hakuro's dialog belongs to ZaKai. Be sure to check out Roy's POV for his side of this via my profile XD**

Divergence is great XD Now, we almost have too different stories, but still the same... enjoy!

**Chapter 08**

He felt heavy; slow and lethargic. His scalp prickled when someone lifted his hair. With a sigh, Ed began to float closer to wakefulness. Someone began to stroke his hair. It was always so soothing, but not that he'd say that out loud. He felt a soft brush followed by a hand go from the crown of his head, down; repeating over and over again. He loved that Roy was doing that for him. Roy seemed to be doing that a lot in the last month or so. It was so calming.

He tired to pull his eyelids apart, though they felt glued together. He struggled for a few moments before his eyes cracked open. The low light from the lamp on the wall just barely lit up his pillow and a few feet beyond his bed, making the dark room beyond even darker. Blinking tiredly, Ed's vision slowly began to pick out details beyond the cone of light, while that hand continued to work though his hair.

When everything came back into focus, Ed craned his neck slightly to look over his shoulder, being mindful of his injury. He frowned in confusion at who was there. A small girl smiled down at him and continued to run a large, soft-bristled child's brush though his unbound hair.

"Who...?" he croaked lowly. Where was Roy? Oh...right... Roy had told him that he didn't want him anymore.

"My name's Kelly. Remember me from yesterday? I found you on the floor," chirped the small girl happily, but softly. Without answering, Ed turned his head back and blinked at the bedside table. The brushing stopped.

"See this? This is Earl, my teddy," said the girl, placing the bear in front of Ed's chest, and in his face. "You can hold him if you want. My daddy got it for me. He has real fur. Touch him, he's really soft."

Ed stared unseeingly at the black bear, with its beady glass eyes and movable limbs. He couldn't stand this... The girl left the bear beside him and resumed brushing his hair.

"You got nice hair for a boy. How come your mom let you grow it so long?"

Ed lifted a heavy hand, and weakly brought it up to place his palm on the bear's chest. The short bristly fur poked at the sensitive underside of his hand. He blinked hard as his vision began to get blurry. He could feel the hurt and pain come back to him. He remembered all the things Roy had said to him. He didn't want this!

"Nurse Hunter was really mad when she found you out of bed again. You're some lucky you were sleeping," she said, stoking through his hair.

Running his hand around the small bear's chest, Ed hooked his hand under the animal's arm and dragged it closer. He nosed the side of the bear's head, letting the soft, real fur tickle his nose and cheeks. No, no, please Roy, I don't want this...

"You're not supposed to be outta bed after lights out, Kelly," a boy of about twelve said accusingly. Ed looked down at the foot of his bed at the newcomer disinterestedly. The tall, lanky boy was completely free of all the hair on his head, making the soft light from Ed's lamp shine dully in the smooth skin.

"Then how come you're outta bed, _Tom-my_," Kelly sing-songed, her voice laced with annoyance.

Closing his eyes, Ed tired to make his heavy heart go away, and in doing so, thought about all the times he'd spent with Roy. All the good and the bad. He'd not trade that for anything. How could the man expect him to find someone else? No one had ever made him feel like this before. No one had been able to get through his defenses to get to know even a fraction of the real Ed. No one but Roy had gotten that close. How could someone new compete. He didn't _want_ someone new to compete. It was Roy or _no one_.

"A kid like you is too young to un-der-stand," Tommy annunciated and drew out each syllable.

How could Roy...how could he just... Ed choked around a sob, feeling embarrassed that these kids would hear him. His hand left the stuffed animal and came up to cover his face from view. He wouldn't be getting out of bed now. He was so drugged and tired, that just thinking about it made him want to sleep. The fact that he couldn't chase after Roy...even if Roy didn't want him...made him really upset.

"Aw, does it hurt?" the girl asked. "Tommy, go get a nurse." The girl at his back began to pat his hair, making him lose it even more. It actually hurt to cry. His throat was tight, and it was hard to swallow. Trying to hold it in only made his chest heave until he gasped and whimpered into his pillow, finally letting it out.

Ed could hear the boy run off. He wished he could calm down enough to call him back. He didn't want anyone else to see him like this. He ground the heel of his hand into his cheek and burrowed further into the pillow, trying to will himself to disappear by merging with the mattress. His face was wet with tears, his nose was running, and he couldn't breathe. A high keening sound worked its way free of his throat, and he rubbed his face over the pillow case.

The small girl at his back was patting his head and speaking to him, but he couldn't hear her over his own sobbing. By the time someone came, Ed was hiccupping, and freaking out at how much he was breaking down. He had never behaved like this; not even when his mother died. The depth of emotions and his inability to control himself was deeply frightening.

"What's going on here?" a woman asked sternly, cutting through the sounds of his sobbing.

"Ah, Nurse Hunter said I could play with him after he woke up, and he woke up yesterday, so—" the girl said, jumping from the bed to the floor.

"Alright, that's enough. Back to your beds, you two," the woman commanded. Then the nurse was coddling him, shushing him and he couldn't have that. He tried to push her away, but she easily captured his one hand. It was too humiliating, but despite her best efforts, Ed couldn't calm down, and in the end he was jabbed with a needle. In moments, Ed didn't have the will do to more then blink a few remaining tears from his eyes, and even that was bothersome. He closed his eyes, because sleep was more promising then what he was feeling now.

* * *

"Hey, granny," mumbled Ed dejectedly into the receiver of the phone. The connection popped and faded, then came back strong. The weather must be pretty bad out there to be affecting the phone lines like this. He looked over his shoulder at the nurse 'standing guard' over him while he was seated in the wheelchair beside the phone. With a silent sigh, Ed looked down at his legs.

"_Edward, it's good to hear your voice. We've been worried about you after the colonel called—" _

"_Is that Ed?"_ Al's voice bellowed. Ed figured that he had to be upstairs by the way his voice carried, but boy, was he loud, then he winced slightly at the mention of Roy. The man still hadn't come back to see him yet. He could hear a crash over the phone and feet sliding down the stairs, and then a fumbling on the other end. _"Ed! Are you alright? We just got home last night. It even made the papers out here—which of course we haven't been getting due to the snow storms—" _

"Al, I—" The connection buzzed lightly, before evening out. It was lucky that he called then when he did, then. It was only after harassing the staff for two days straight that they would allow him to make a call. He was glad to know that Al was home now. It would have been fine to talk with granny, but he wanted to hear Al's voice. For once he got lucky.

"_I don't believe you got impaled. That's just horrible. It must hurt more then auto-mail—_"

"Al," growled Ed, trying to gain his younger brother's attention. The nurse behind him coughed discreetly, making Ed turn to look. The woman pointed to her wrist watch, and motioned him to hurry up. With a sigh, Ed turned back around. Sheesh, he'd just gotten on, and now he was being told to get off? But it was too much effort to fight it.

"_Al, let the boy say two words."_ Ed heard granny say with a chuckle.

"When are you coming? I'm bored here," he said into the phone, cradling it to his head, now that he could speak. He _ached_ to see his brother. He needed to have him here, to distract him from the dark turn this mind was taking. He couldn't stop thinking about everything Roy had ever told him over the six odd months they'd been together, trying to find some clue, some _hint_ as to why Roy dumped him. The more he thought about it the more he was starting to think Roy had just been _playing_ with him. Like, what had he _really_ done to show his feeling towards him? Nothing.

Of course Roy was attentive to him, but his 'research' into Roy's dating habits had taught him that Roy was like that anyway. The more he thought about it, the more he didn't want to get up out of bed, or do any of the rehabilitation that'd help his muscles heal right, or any of the things asked of him. All he wanted was to sleep or stare blankly at nothing.

With Roy currently avoiding him, he was falling into a depression. He recognized it, knew it was happening, but didn't have the desire, or the will to do anything about it. Last time this happened he had the unhappy ability of focusing on the restoration of his brother's body. It kept him busy. He wouldn't tell any of this to Al over the phone, though.

"_We came back in the carriage," _said Al, breaking through Ed's dark thoughts. _"Winry's clients hooked up the runners in order to bring us back. But as soon as the roads open up we'll be on the first train to Central, don't worry."_

_Thank you, Al. It would be great to see everyone_, thought Ed. "Al," he whispered. He couldn't help himself. It wasn't as though Winry would hear him even if he spoke normally, but something in him made him cautious anyway. "I got another problem."

"_What?"_

"Did any of those papers mention anything about my auto-mail?" asked Ed. He felt a sick sort of rolling in his stomach just picturing what Winry would do to him. She was always so damn protective of her precious auto-mail.

"_No. Why?" _Al sounded suspicious. Who could blame him, he was always getting into trouble.

"It's been trashed," said Ed sheepishly. Maybe he should ask Al to keep Winry's wrenches away from him. He didn't need another concussion, or anymore stitches in his head.

"_Oh, no..."_

"Yeah. It was just my arm, so tell Winry, but make sure she won't kill me on sight, please?" The nurse coughed again, louder. "Al, I got to go, the phone police are after me to get off."

"_What? Already? Okay...well, we'll be there as soon as we can, okay? Hopefully in a week they should have the road to the station open."_

"Alright. Hurry. I'll see you soon."

"_Take care,"_ said Al, and then the connection went dead.

Ed pulled the receiver away from his head and held it out for the nurse to replace it on the cradle since he couldn't reach it while seated.

"I'd like to go back to my bed now. I'm exhausted," said Ed. He knew that the plan was for him to go be with the other children, but he couldn't handle that right now. The nurse seemed about to argue with him, but then closed her mouth.

"Very well," the nurse said, unlocking his chair and turning him around towards the room. "I have another matter to discuss with you."

"Hm?" grunted Ed. He didn't want to have to deal with more stuff, he just needed sleep.

"You need someone to bring you a change of clothes, shampoo and so on. Your stay with us has been quite lengthy to date. I'm sure you would like the opportunity to freshen up on a daily basis. Is there anyone who could bring this for you?"

"No...Yes! My CO, he's got access to my dorm room. Have him bring it!" Ed said excitedly. Oh, that was perfect! Roy would have to come now! He could easily get his key and get him some things. He only hoped he didn't pass it off to someone else. He didn't really want one of the guys or even Hawkeye seeing what he'd been up to before the accident. Oh, and it was _all_ over his room too...damn. Well, maybe if Roy saw that, he'd come around to see him.

As soon as the nurse was finished with getting him settled back into bed, Ed started to feel depressed again. This sucked. Al wouldn't be here for a while, Roy was avoiding him, and he had nothing to do. He sighed loudly. He wasn't really sure how long he lay there staring at nothing and brooding when the door opened. Half hoping, Ed looked up wishing that Roy would be there, finally coming to see him. But no, Ed frowned, it was General Hakuro, walking upright and military ram-rod straight.

What was the general doing here? Ed barely had any dealings with the man directly, it always came through Roy. Was he showing some sort of interest in his health?

"Fullmetal," the general said as he came near, when he caught Ed looking. "You're still with us. That's good," stated the general while he stepped around the chair Roy had been using and sat down facing Ed.

It wasn't like he expected the man to be all weepy or anything, but he should at least _sound_ like he cared. Even he knew how to pretend if the situation called for it. Rather then react to the insensitive slight, Ed just put his normal reaction aside and decided to deal with this calmly.

"Er...sir. Thank you," said Ed feeling like this had to be happening to someone else. He quickly brought up his left hand and as good as he could and saluted the general. "Sorry, my right arm got destroyed," explained Ed, feeling embarrassed that he even had to explain. Letting his hand fall back to the bed, Ed pulled the pillows further under his head to allow him to see the general better. Gah, he almost wanted—if he could that is—to sit up and look very proper. It had to be bad form to lay down like this—and for that matter, why the hell did he care?

_Stupid_ Roy and his _stupid_ preaching about _stupid_ manners...

The general nodded and ran his small beady eyes over Ed's body. Ed's eyebrow twitched, but he quickly made his face devoid of emotion, waiting to see what this surprise visit was all about. "You don't look very good," the general said, his eyes returning to Ed's. "But it seems you faired better than the vehicle you were in."

"Ah, yeah. I've heard about it, but it's very hazy," said Ed somberly. Stupid, _stupid_ Roy...

"I've been told about your memory loss. I'm sorry to hear about that, though it's probably for the best. That isn't something anyone would like to remember," continued the general.

Yeah, Ed didn't remember, but now he wished he could, because something happened back then, he was sure of it, and now, somehow, Roy didn't want him. Smiling tightly up at the general, Ed waited for the real reason Hakuro was here. He'd be polite, but he'd be dammed if he was going to help these 'pleasantries' along.

General Hakuro cleared his throat. "Well, you're probably wondering why I'm here," Hakuro began, and Ed could only mentally shake his head at the man. 'Hell ya' came to mind but he didn't say it. "Because I'm responsible for submitting a request for a replacement vehicle, I need to get some basic information from you," the general informed him.

Oh? That was not what he had been supposing this visit was about, but it was true that the general was very detail orientated. It sounded plausible. "Oh. Okay. But I'm not sure I'll be able be very helpful," said Ed, feeling bad for second guessing. He'd have to learn not to be so un-trusting. Just add that to his growing list of things to work on...

The general nodded again. "I understand you don't remember most of what happened, and that's fine. Colonel Mustang submitted a full report; however, it's policy that in this type of a situation, all parties involved be questioned. It's nothing to worry about. They're basic questions, and ones that have been answered very well in Mustang's report, but I'm still required to ask you."

"Okay." Ed waved his hand out towards the general, asking him silently to start. "I'll do my best to answer." Ed watched as the general shifted around on the hard looking chair before he settled himself, crossing his legs and crossing his arms across his ample chest.

"Alright," began Hakuro. "First of all, I need you to tell me what you remember of the accident."

Ed glanced away and then back at the man seated at the end of his bed. Wouldn't he like to know that as well. "Heh, well nothing at all, sir."

"I expected as much," Hakuro said with a nod. "What happened prior to the accident? Can you think of anything that could have been the cause of it?" he asked.

Yeah, he could think of something that would make Roy crash the car, but he wasn't sure that it was because of their fight. "Not really, sir," answered Ed, keeping his face blank. "We—the colonel and I—were just..." Ed hesitated. What should he say? He had no idea what Roy had said in his report. If he strayed too far from the truth, would that place them in trouble? "Discussing some concerns with..." Yeah, right 'discussing'. "The submittal of my report findings and it got a little heated..."

Did Roy mention that he was over at his house at the time? Should he? Damn. He didn't like this. Maybe he should just keep quiet about that and not offer any additional information. While Roy's staff accepted their relationship, Roy had cautioned him about how the rest of the military might react, and so to keep it quiet.  
Ed studied the general's face looking for anything that might suggest that he'd just screwed up, but the man was closed and not offering anything.

"Yes," said the general, nodding. "The two of you are known for your disagreements. Would you suppose that this discussion had an effect on Mustang's driving?"

Ed just blinked. And now they were back to the things he couldn't remember. "Well, I don't know, sir. I mean I could suppose, or theorize, but I don't remember at all. It wouldn't be fair to speculate without any facts, wouldn't you agree, sir?" asked Ed, frowning slightly at where General Hakuro was taking this. He would not say that, no matter what. He didn't remember, so as far as he knew—and really he didn't yet, since he had no one to ask—Roy had driven over the curb. The general looked at him, his face softening with pity, and Ed kept his mouth shut. He sure as hell didn't want this man's pity.

"Like I said, most of this is in Mustang's report, I simply have to ask you the questions because it's policy. I can understand this must be frustrating for you not to remember, so don't worry yourself too much about it. I asked Colonel Mustang similar questions about you, though more so because he does remember," said Hakuro, his voice softening just like his face had, but it didn't reach his eyes, so Ed knew that he was just playing with him.

"Okay..." agreed Ed warily, with a nod, waiting for the other shoe to drop.

The general smiled slowly, he stood and looked down at Ed. "Well, I won't ask you anything else. I can see this is needlessly straining you. I think the information you gave me should be sufficient," said Hakuro.

"Well, if you're sure..." said Ed, following the general with his eyes. Had he even said anything useful? If this was procedure did they only get through half of it? Or was it okay?

"I am. If it wasn't for the damn bureaucracy, I wouldn't have come to bother you like this at all. You don't need more stress. It's important that you rest so that you can heal quickly," said the general looking down at him kindly. "I have children of my own, as you might recall, so I know you must be eager to be out of that bed."

"Yeah, I am. I can't stand it, really. It's so fucking boring—oh, sorry, sir!" said Ed, realizing the slip. He only hoped Hakuro wouldn't roast him for swearing. Maybe he'd get away with it because he was recuperating.

The general just smirked at him slightly. "It seems you'll be here for a while. You should have someone bring you something to keep you occupied," said the general, looking around the room. "This isn't the best environment to keep a young man's attention."

"Yeah," agreed Ed with a sigh. He was glad he wasn't going to be ragged out for the slip. "But it seems none of my family can come yet, so I'll just have to be idle I guess. Thanks for coming, sir."

The general nodded once more. "Mustang has submitted your medical leave forms for you, and has requested an extension of leave for you with full pay. I'll be granting that, of course. Take care," said Hakuro, and then turned around and walked down the length of the room the same way he came in, back ram-rod straight.

Ed watched him leave, feeling baffled by the whole conversation. Just when he thought he knew where it was going, it switched gears and it was just polite conversation. Finally he couldn't fight the meds anymore and let his eyes close, welcoming sleep because it'd at least make the time pass.

* * *

"Time for your medication, Edward," said a young nurse happily first thing in the morning. Ed had watched her move from child to child with a growing, vicious, anger bubbling up from his stomach. When she finally got to him, he didn't want to have her near him.

"Fuck off," growled Ed, totally not in the mood. He'd had a crappy night. He couldn't sleep very well despite the drugs that would allow him to do so, and he found himself crying again. That totally pissed him off. He was not a crier. Thankfully no one had heard him. His pride had been abused enough that he didn't want anyone to find him like that. The only thing he could think of—beside the obvious reasons—that could be making him cry so much was that it had to be from the drugs. The fucking drugs were messing with his mind and he couldn't think straight anymore.

"Humph, well this will make it all right," the woman said, lifting the needle from the small cart she'd brought with her, and walking between his bed and the next. She brought the needle towards the shunt at the top by the glass jar containing saline and other fluids.

Ed looked up at her hard. "Touch that line, and I won't be held accountable," said Ed, his voice low and dangerous. The woman looked down at him surprised. "Don't..." he warned again when her hand moved towards the shunt. She stopped and looked down at him perplexed.

"Why don't you want it? It'll make you better," she wondered.

Just as she was lifting the needle again, Ed grabbed a hold of his IV line and yanked it, causing the metal stand to fly at the nurse and crash into the floor with a loud clatter. Both glass jars shattered upon impact, splashing the floor with clear liquid that slid across the floor in all directions.

"What the _fuck's_ your problem? Don't you have know how to listen, I said NO! I don't want any more of that shit in my body! You hear me!" bellowed Ed. The now frightened nurse stared at him in astonishment. She had just barely gotten out of the way, avoiding getting knocked in the face with the stand.

"Get outta here! Go! I don't want to see your ugly cow-face again!" screeched Ed. That did it, the frozen nurse hurried out of the room. All the other children looked back at him. With a snarl from Ed they quickly looked away. He could hear the older kids talk about him in a loud whisper, and another swore at him. His eyes snapped up towards the voice, and glared the perpetrator into sullen silence.

Now left 'alone', Ed took a shaky breath. Damn...he was really fucked up. He'd never have done that if he was in his right mind...would he? He lifted a weak hand and massaged his temples. Breathing deeply, Ed sought to calm his anger. It worked so well that now he was feeling sad for himself. Dammit, dammit, DAMMIT! It made him so disgusted with himself. Since when had he ever been this _in touch_ with his emotions?

The crunch of broken glass under foot alerted him that someone was near. "Edward..." a male voice spoke softly near him. Moving his hand away, Ed looked up into Doctor Maple's worried face. "What's wrong?" he asked bringing the chair closer so that he could sit near his head. He rested his forearms on his knees and looked intently into Ed's eyes.

"Those drugs, I don't want them," Ed said tiredly, dropping his gaze to the sheet near his head. When the silence began to stretch out, Ed fought with himself as his anger threatened to take hold again. Fucking, dammit! _Say something!_ commanded Ed silently, feeling the rage burn at his guts.

"But, son, you need—"

"I'm not your son," interrupted Ed, glowering up at the doctor. Doctor Maple pressed his lips and met Ed's glare without flinching. Not bad, only Roy could do that, or maybe his glare lacked teeth due to the damn drugs as well. "I don't want anymore of whatever it is you're giving me. It's...making me feel bad. Just give me something else instead."

"It's not as easy as you make it sound. You're responding well under this medication, and there's no reason to try something else that you may react badly to."

"I've been crying! _I_ don't _cry_. That's not responding well. I want something else," demanded Ed stubbornly.

"You realize that since you're underage and have no legal guardian, I'll have to talk with your commanding officer about this," said the doctor calmly after having studied him for a few tense moments.

"Fine, I don't care," said Ed wearily. He needed to sleep again, or try to. He just hoped he'd be awake for when Roy came. He _needed_ to see him. He had to try and make him understand that breaking up was wrong. Whatever it was that Roy had thought he'd said was wrong. It was all wrong! He was sure now that he hadn't said anything that should have let Roy believe that he was ready to end this.

"Very well. Excuse me," said the doctor, getting up and leaving him alone.

Ed didn't watch the doctor leave, closing his eyes instead. If...no, he had to believe that Roy would come. _When_ Roy came, what would he say to him? How could he make him understand that he was wrong? So, what did he remember? Roy had said that Al hated him, but he'd already said that was a lie. What else?

Ed chewed on his lip in concentration, trying to remember what he could. He'd been accused of being childish when he wouldn't drink the milk. Maybe Roy was getting tired of him acting like not-quite-a-child, not-quite-an-adult. Also, he was accused of being selfish. But all his life since the accident that left him like this, all he ever did was give, so maybe that was another lie.

Control. Yeah, that was something he knew he lacked. Big time! He knew that. But it was hard to not lose it when the people around him seemed to want to push him and his limits. Roy often found it amusing, and while he repeatedly threatened bodily harm, he'd not go that far without good reason. It was just a part of their banter.

What was it Roy said? Something about lying to yourself...and about reality? At this point things started to get slightly hazy. This was also around the time that Roy said he didn't think of others, and what they were feeling. Did he do that? Could he be that oblivious to the feelings of those around him? He didn't know about that one, and would have to check with Al to see if that was true.

Now, Ed could barely remember anything but a few disjointed words. Being told to drink the milk, looking at Roy's coat covered back, and then closing the door. Well, that didn't tell him anything! Roy's attack had just come from no where. It didn't make sense, and he just didn't know how he was going to fix this. He just hoped that Roy...well, that Roy liked him even a little bit, 'cause otherwise...he'd been played and thinking about that...

Ed exhaled loudly. How long was he overdue for the painkillers? Closing his eyes, Ed tried to slip into sleep, but with each passing minute, the ache became shaper and more pronounced. When was Roy coming? He didn't want to have to ask for the very medication he'd refused because he couldn't wait any longer. But did he really want to see Roy like this? The pain would make it hard to think and watch what he said. He needed to be able to listen and hear what Roy was saying, and not be lashing out at him.

Maybe he could ask for something lighter, like some headache medicine. That should work in the short term until Roy got here. Ed opened his eyes and looked down the ward, hoping for a nurse or someone he could send, but instead Doctor Maple was striding towards him.

"Edward," Doctor Maple said as he crossed the room towards him. "I just got off the phone with your commanding officer, but I'm afraid he wasn't very helpful."

"What'd ya mean? He's not coming?" asked Ed incredulously. How could Roy NOT come! What the fuck!

"That's what it sounded like." The doctor walked between the beds, being careful of the broken glass still littering the floor and resumed his seat. "Now, we have a bit of a problem as well. You've refused your medication, but I'm sure you're feeling that that can't go on for much longer. Am I right?"

"Yeah," said Ed in a weak voice, hardly listening any more.

"Then, I'll give you this until we've sorted this out," said the doctor. Ed heard the doctor stand and move closer but he was too wrapped up in his own worries to pay any attention. "Someone will be along to clean up the glass and I'll be back later to change your dressings," Maple said, and then he felt a prick on his upper arm.

"Okay," agreed Ed quietly as the doctor walked away. Could it _get_ any worse? Did he have to do something even more drastic to get Roy here? He closed his eyes and let his mind drift off towards sleep, the drugs making him slow and heavy again.

* * *

Ed snorted at the ceiling and than thrust out his bottom lip in annoyance. Damn doctor-quacks! Don't have nice bone in their whole body. 'Sure, Edward I'll be kind and not hurt any of your wounds, just lie back and enjoy.' _What a bloody fucking load of bullshit that was!_ thought Ed bitterly. Pulled out of sleep to find himself naked except for a small towel to cover his bits, and surrounded by nurses and Doctor Maple under the pretense of 'changing his bandages' was not his ideal way to wake up. But on the up side, it was good to able to finally lie on his back again; his shoulder only ached a little bit.

Lifting his arm above his face, Ed studied the back of his hand. He was losing his muscle fast. His arm looked un-defined and skinny, his stomach was still flat but his abs and definition were gone. Frowning at his fingers, Ed let his hand come to rest on his chest, and sighed loudly. He was alone once more in the ward, as all the kids had gone to the playroom for lunch time. He had flatly refused going anywhere near that room, and promised to scream bloody murder if anyone tried to take him there against his will.

The threat worked, and Doctor Maple had 'suggested' that they let Edward get some rest, leaving him alone in the room. Only thing was, he was bored silly and every thought ended up with Roy. Why wouldn't Roy come after he refused his meds? Wouldn't he be worried about him? It had only been a few hours but Ed was sure that if Roy had cared, he'd have been here much sooner.

Ed lifted his right foot up into the air and stared at his toes before giving them a wiggle, and than let his foot fall back to the bed with a thump. With another sigh, Ed touched his forehead, running his fingertips along the scar there. The doctor had taken out the stitches when he changed his bandages and given him a mirror. The scar ran from the middle of his forehead curving down to touch the top of his right eyebrow near his temple.

Doctor Maple had said that the scar would fade, and he had been very careful to make sure the scar wouldn't pucker while it healed, using fifteen tiny stitches to sew it up. Ed supposed he should be thankful for that. Most of his scars he could hide if he wanted to. This one would make it a little bit hard to do if it continued to look pink and angry like this.

The sound of the door handle turning broke Ed's musings. Rolling his head to the side, he hoped that it was someone he could talk to for even a little while because he was so DAMN BORED! The door swung wide, but he couldn't see anyone for a moment, and then Roy shuffled awkwardly through, turned to make sure the latch caught, and then looked at him. Their eyes met across the room. Roy had a slightly frustrated look on his face before he looked down at the floor and began to make his way towards his bed.

Ed was...shocked. Roy did come! And he was looking good too! His was still too thin, but his hair was shiny and he'd shaved. He even had on some really nice slacks and shirt. But all this didn't hide the hurt and tiredness that lingered around the eyes and mouth, the way he carried himself as he swung the crutch forward slowly, and tried to not lose his balance with—was that _his _bag?—on his good shoulder.

At the foot of his bed, Roy let the bag slide off his arm and bounce on the mattress. Ed looked quickly from the over-stuffed bag to Roy's face and tried to say something, anything, but he was really nervous, and found that he couldn't speak. He hardly knew what to say! His heart was beating so fast under his chest.

Roy turned away from him, towards the door as though he was going to leave, and Ed felt a pang of panic and pain stab through him. But then Roy glanced over his shoulder and seemed to change his mind since he hobbled over to the chair Doctor Maple had placed beside his bed, near his head. Once again, Ed tried to say something, but found himself strangely mute as Roy placed his crutch against the side table and sat down. All he could do was swallow and watch.

"I was contacted by your physician. It seems you've been making trouble," said Roy, his voice coming out softer then the very hard look he was giving Ed.

Damn, Roy was mad at him, and probably pissed that he had to come down and deal with him just like always. He sighed and looked down at the bag at the foot of the bed, unable to see how disappointed Roy might be with him. Guess Roy didn't look too closely at the things around his dorm room if he was acting like this towards him. It was a bit of a long shot, but he had hoped...

"I'm sorry," said Ed sincerely. "I...it's been...hard." He frowned at his own words. He didn't want to say he'd been crying and behaving like a five-year-old having a tantrum. "I—" began Ed, looking back at Roy. "I'm glad you...came," he finished in a whisper, only to look away again.

The silence seemed to hang between them. "Of course I came," said Roy at last, just as softly as he had spoken moments before. "I think Maple and his staff aren't prepared to deal with someone as troublesome as you. I couldn't very well let them suffer," continued Roy after a pause, using his office voice.

Feeling very much that Roy was looking down on him right now, Ed wanted to explain; to defend his actions, as silly as they may have been. "I'm sorry," he said again, quickly, and honestly. "I didn't mean to react like that. I mean, I wouldn't hurt the nurse on purpose, but I was really angry, and I wasn't thinking straight. It's like my head is all messed up." He shook his hand around his temple in illustration and than frowned.

"I mean, I know I knocked the thing down, but—okay yeah, it came close but not _that_ close. There was a good few inches between her nose and the stand-thingy. I just needed to get my head clear and these drugs aren't letting me do that, so I wanted to change them but they won't listen to me 'cause I'm not legal yet." Ed rolled his eyes in annoyance. "Which is _so_ stupid—and just now, I mean after they changed my bandages, they wanted me to go to the damn playroom. With all the other kids! Hello, is it any wonder that I freaked out like that!" said Ed with a slash of his hand.

It was like that movement reminded him where he was and he paused, digesting what he'd just said...and... rather quickly, too. "So yeah..." his finished lamely, letting his hand flop down onto his chest. He shifted painfully onto his side, pulling the pillow down under his chin, and blinked at Roy wondering how much trouble he was in for attacking that nurse. But Roy didn't seem to be mad at all, maybe a little bit confused, but not mad.

Roy cleared his throat. "I informed Doctor Maple that both the state and I consider you to be an adult. It's really up to you if you switch medications or not. Though I think you should know that most medications have some sort of side effects. I don't think a fuzzy head warrants changing prescriptions."

"But what does the doctor think? He still gave me that shit when—after he—well, I mean it sounded like you weren't coming so...he just gave it to me anyway," said Ed, feeling more and more stupid for causing all this hassle for Roy. He was injured too, and looking after him probably wasn't how he wanted to spend his time.

"The doctor thinks you should stay with this medication as well, though I'm not agreeing with him because he's the doctor," replied Roy, looking irritated for a moment. Damn, he was feeling like he was just about to be grounded for being a bad boy. Roy was _pissed_ at him for making him come here. He was such a screw up! "If you really want to change medications I'll talk to him about it, but like I said, I don't think it's really necessary," said Roy.

Breaking his eye contact, Ed looked down at the rumpled sheets, pressing his lips in thought. It was no longer the problem switching his medication, but how to keep Roy here, because once they were done with this Roy would want to leave. He could tell. "Well, I don't know, but I'm... I mean, I don't act like this normally, but I'm..." Ed trailed off.

He also didn't want to admit he'd been upset over how Roy had left him a few days ago. He was embarrassed enough that he had to be medicated to sleep because he couldn't calm down on his own. He looked across the room at the far windows, unable to meet Roy's gaze right now. His turbulent emotions were close to the surface, and if provoked he knew he'd get defensive and angry, or worse...cry. He didn't want to start anything, so he struggled with himself until he knew he could speak and not be confrontational about it.

"Hakuro came to see me," Ed finally said with a frown, rolling his head back so he could catch Roy's reaction. The change of subject would hopefully get his mind off of his other worries. "I don't know what you put in your report, but I don't think I said anything harmful."

Roy flinched and took a deep breath. "Well, medication can mess with how you act sometimes, but that doesn't mean it's not the best one for helping you heal. It won't be forever."

"Yeah, I guess," agreed Ed quietly. Roy had passed right over that comment, as if he didn't hear. He didn't know what that was all about, and in the end, he didn't care. They were awkward around each other, and that made him shift uneasily over the mattress.

"Well, if there's nothing else?" asked Roy.

Ed snapped his head up and saw Roy about to get out of his chair, and he forgot about his messed up head and shot his hand out to grip at Roy's coat sleeve. "Oh, wait!" he pleaded. The hell with his pride, it'd only got him in trouble anyway. Roy looked slightly startled, just looking at him, and waiting for him to explain. "Stay. Please," begged Ed, staring up into Roy's eyes, willing him to say yes.

"Alright," agreed Roy quietly. He leaned back in the hard backed chair and just looked at Ed without any expression.

Swallowing, Ed gave Roy's coat a tug. "Give me your hand," Ed ordered, overriding his anxiety. It was now or never. His last chance to figure out what happened. "And you're going to tell me straight how it is with us now. No more lies, no more half-truths. I wanna know how come you...attacked me like that...please. I need to know," begged Ed.

When Roy stiffened and just sat there looking at him, without offering his hand. Ed pulled on his coat again. "Give me your hand," he commanded again, glaring at Roy to obey him.

Roy frowned at him. "Why don't you tell me why you'd been so distant," Roy demanded. "Perhaps you should tell me why you seemed to be less interested in our relationship. What was it to you Ed?" he asked, pausing for a moment. "Was it the sex? Was that all it was? Am I getting too old for you? What?" Roy looked down at his lap, his face going pale.

"What!" demanded Ed, giving Roy's coat a tug. He wasn't a sex fiend, Roy was. Hell, he hadn't even thought about sex—much—before he got with Roy. "Are you insane?" wondered Ed, giving Roy's coat another tug. "I wasn't getting tired of you, dumb ass," he cursed, pulling at the sleeve. "You were giving me mixed signals that I couldn't make sense of. I thought you were seeing someone else!" Ed pulled twice more.

"But then you called me up drunk, and then I knew you weren't, and I felt stupid for doubting you! I thought we'd made up!" yelled Ed, his voice rising in his confusion and anger. Again, he pulled at Roy's coat. "Why did you act like that then?" asked Ed, angry at Roy, angry at everything. He used all his slowly returning strength to pull on the fabric as hard as he could. He was just so frustrated with this whole mess, he wanted to shake Roy senseless.

"Why wouldn't you confide in me? Why wouldn't you let me take care of you?" Roy demanded in return, not meeting his glare, rather, he looked off to the side. "We didn't make up; you were just trying to flatter me into giving you what you wanted."

_What's all this? Flatter him? _Ed wondered, slightly baffled as to what Roy was talking about. This was the second time Roy had said something like this, but it didn't make any sense. He hardly had time to think this before Roy continued.

"Why did you get upset when I was just trying to be honest with you?" asked Roy, his voice also rising in volume. "You asked me a question and I answered you honestly, but it wasn't good enough for you. I gave you what I'd never given to anyone else, Ed—the truth. I gave you a piece of me and when you realized that not all was perfect you got pissed off and wanted to leave. I'm not good enough for you, Ed. I know it and you know it," spat Roy, sounding very bitter.

Ah, man...Ed felt like crap for all the shit they hadn't understood about each other. If he had said just a little more, or been a little more forward that day maybe none of this would have happened. But he hadn't wanted to rock the already heaving boat. If he had said why he didn't want Roy to take care of him, would Roy have gotten mad at him anyway, but for an entirely different reason?

"I didn't want to tell you that I hadn't eaten for almost three days," began Ed, his voice gone quite and sad for all the pain he'd inadvertently caused Roy. "'Cause I was worried as hell that _you_ were leaving _me_, and I didn't want to bother you since we'd just 'made' up," admitted Ed. He tried to remove all traces of confrontational tones from his voice so that Roy would know that he was sorry, dammit!

"And as for getting pissed when you were honest with me about why you liked me, I didn't like how you threw your past exploits out there so causally," said Ed. Actually, he was quite jealous of every one of Roy's past relationships. They had all that time with Roy that he'd never be able to get as his own. They never talked about his past, but Ed wanted to ask so _badly_. He wanted to know how he compared to the others. How was he different from everyone else? Why did Roy seem to think he was so great?

Roy knew almost everything about him, and he knew almost nothing about Roy. It was unfair, and unkind. But Roy was very good at avoiding unwanted peeks into his past, since each time Ed tried to bring up this subject, Roy would distract him somehow. Be it from passionate kisses that led to more...vigorous activities, or diverting his attention with a few comments on his height or just generally pushing his buttons. Every time Ed tried to ask he was shot down. How could he have known that Roy, for once, was giving him a small glimpse into the 'real Roy'?

"I'm sorry I didn't realize that you were putting yourself out there," he continued, not wanting to dwell on his irrational jealously, and how little he really knew about this man in front of him. "I handled it badly. I'm sorry that I have a temper and I can't ever be calm when I need to be, and I'm sorry that I _always_ speak without thinking. I'm sorry for being me, so please, can we stop this craziness and go back to the way we were now? Please let me hold your hand," begged Ed, one more time.

Roy sighed as though he was very put out by all this, and presented his hand for Ed to take. Letting go of Roy's coat sleeve, Ed reached over and wrapped his hand around Roy's, pulling it a little so that they could both rest their hands on the mattress.

Ed looked down at their hands, with a worried frown. Even though Roy was letting him do this, he wasn't really holding Ed's hand. Ed was holding Roy's. Roy's hand was just like a dead thing in his palm. It just rested there. He wanted the contact so that Roy would be forced to acknowledge him, and speak to him. He rubbed his thumb along the top of Roy's fingers, back and forth, slowly, trying to encourage a reciprocal gesture out of him.

"Ed... I'm just not good for you..." Roy said slowly. He paused, and Ed looked up from their hands, to look into Roy's face. "I... You're not the only one with a temper, though I guess you know that by now." Roy fell silent for a moment. When he spoke again, his voice was full of pain. "There a reason why I never dated anyone very long, Ed... It wasn't all about wanting new 'conquests'..." he stopped talking then, and just looked at him.

"I haven't been very... kind... to the people I've dated in the past. I never respected them." Ed squeezed Roy's hand while he fell silent again. He didn't want to open his mouth and interrupt him during his first real look into a side of Roy that had always remained locked away. "Basically they were there for me to fuck," admitted Roy, almost unwillingly by the sounds of it. Roy glanced at him and then away, but he wasn't going to say anything this time. He was learning, slowly, but he was starting to understand what it meant to just _listen_.

"When we...got together...by the time we actually had sex—like I said before—I'd already realized I wanted something more from you. I realized that I...I actually respected you... I wanted what we had to be different. I worked very hard to keep myself from saying things I shouldn't when I was angry," said Roy, shaking his head, and grimacing. Ed squeezed Roy's cold hand in encouragement, frowning to himself before Roy continued. "That morning... I did to you what I'd done to them. I knew what I was doing, but...I did it anyway," whispered Roy.

Ed began to feel sick to his stomach. So, Roy, in a way, had meant to say those things to him. He had wanted to push him away, but it wasn't really like that. Roy did care for him. The way he'd visit him every day while he was unconscious, the remorse he was showing now. It just proved to Ed that Roy was really caring towards him, not just acting out of guilt, and he knew all about guilt.

"And you suffered from it in more ways than one," said Roy, his voice regaining some of it's strength. Ed tightened his hold on Roy's hand. "You shouldn't ever have to worry about that." Roy finally looked up and into his eyes. "Do you understand? Do you understand why I can't be with you? Do you understand why you'd be better off with someone else?" asked Roy, his voice full of emotion.

Ed wondered if Roy was actually going to cry, and began to worry. He gave Roy's hand another squeeze, and looked down at the mattress. "No, I don't understand. So you got a temper too, it'll make the make-up sex even hotter," joked Ed, trying to lighten the mood even a little bit, and knew he'd gone too far when Roy frowned deeply at him.

"Roy, I don't want anyone else," he said more seriously, trying to show what he was feeling more plainly, and without joking around. "It's you or no one, you got that? You keep saying I'm an adult, but you're making this decision for me, 'cause you think of me as a kid despite what you say to the contrary. Let me decide how, and what I think is acceptable to me, okay?" Ed forced himself to meet Roy's gaze quietly.

"I don't think of you as a kid, Ed, but you are inexperienced," said Roy after several silent moments. "You really don't understand. It got very ugly with some of my past flings. I refuse to let it get that way with you." Roy dropped his gaze down to their intertwined hands. Ed also looked down at their hands, and wondered if he would ever get Roy to see his side of things.

"You deserve better than me," whispered Roy. "There is better out there, you just don't know it yet. I'm giving you the freedom to find that out."

Ed sighed loudly. Roy still didn't understand, since he continued to talk about leaving him. "You're not hearing me, but you know what? That's okay, because I'm not giving up," he promised. "I can see that you really like me, and this is killing you." He lifted their joined hands, and tilted Roy's hand over, pulling it up to his mouth, to place a kiss between the first and second knuckles. He boldly met Roy's confused gaze, willing him to see that he wasn't mistaken about his choice.

"I'm not a woman, you know, that you need to kiss my hand," said Roy, sounding slightly amused.

Ed chuckled at that. It was true, Roy was very male and far from being mistaken for a woman, but then, he did get off on treating Ed like one every now and then. It only irked Ed so much because one time, a few years ago, Havoc had mentioned that he looked like girl with his 'long, flowing hair' and would Ed mind if he got a box of pretty ribbons for the holidays? Ever since then, Ed had been ever wary for even the slightest hint of gender confusion. He would make sure the wrongdoer became _fully_ aware of their mistake.

It was almost funny that Roy was feeling like he was being treated like a woman from this simple gesture. As far as Ed knew, it wasn't exclusive to women only, and it wasn't like he was on his knees doing some stupid proposal. _Then_ Roy could accuse him of being treated like a girl, not before. If he could though, rather then his knuckles, he would like to kiss Roy's mouth, his neck, but it would have to wait until he could actually chase after Roy. Which meant that he had to stop dicking around and start working on getting better. The faster he got out of here the faster _they_ were back together.

He lifted Roy's hand again, and placed another kiss over top of the first one. It wasn't the same as kissing Roy on the mouth but it was all he could reach at the moment. He smirked at Roy, and glanced at his lips. "You're in for it when I get outta here, you know that right? I'm not going to let you outta my sight. You know all that determination I had for Al? Well that's all on you now."

"Ed..." Roy warned, frowning at him. "Perhaps I didn't make myself very clear..."

"Sure, sure I got ya," interrupted Ed. "You're being all self-sacrificing, but that's your decision, I'm not accepting it," said Ed with a little shrug of his left shoulder.

Roy's eyebrow twitched and then he yanked his hand out of Ed's grasp, startling him. What'd he say? Why'd Roy take his hand away? Roy quickly leaned over and picked up his crutch to help him stand. "It's not self-sacrificing; it's what's best," said Roy with a shake of his head. He opened his mouth, but then closed it again with a sigh.

"Hey! Where are you going?" demanded Ed. He scooted towards the edge of the bed and made a grab for Roy's pants, just missing them. Just a bit further...

"Home. I'm exhaus—I have things I need to do." Ed looked up to see Roy staring down at him. He suddenly noticed how dark the circles were under Roy's eyes.

"But you'll come back?" Ed was still trying to reach for Roy's pants. If he could just grab on, he could stop Roy from leaving like this.

"We're not a couple anymore, Ed."

Ed frowned. Where did that come from? "So what? We can't even be friends?" he asked. He forgot to try and grab for Roy's pants, and just looked up at Roy standing over him.

Roy continued to study him, without responding. It was making Ed get more and more panicked. He turned away and began to make his way up the middle of the room. "I'll think about it," Roy finally said, without stopping.

"Hey—Wait! Come back! Roy? No fair, you can't leave like that! Come back!" yelled Ed.

"Goodbye, Ed" said Roy, without turning or making any indication that he would stop.

"Roy!" yelled Ed, trying to make it through his thick skull that he should stay. But Roy just opened the door and walked through without even a parting glance in his direction. "Roy!" Ed shouted at the top of his lungs, but the door closed. He waited to see if Roy would turn around and peek back in, but it didn't happen.

"You're such a jerk, Roy Mustang!" huffed Ed at the far door. Snorting in annoyance, he rolled over onto his back and stared at the ceiling. Al would be here in a few days, and if he survived Winry's examination, he'd be one step closer to being released from this kid-topia...and then he would get serious about some date plans.

--To Be Continued--


	9. Chapter 9

**Disclaimer**: I don't own...Willing to marry into the family though.

Roy's dialog belongs to ZaKai. Be sure to check out Roy's POV for his side of this via my profile XD

**Chapter 09**

"Come here, Ed. Sit in my lap," beckoned Roy, and then patted his thigh.

Ed felt his cheeks heat up. The book he was reading was placed on the coffee table in front of the couch and he leaned forward to get out of his seat.

"Wait." Ed looked up, and froze. "Release your hair."

"Got any fives?" asked Al, sitting on the end of the bed with his legs folded Indian-style.

Ed pulled at the tie at the end of his braid and ran his left hand though his thick golden hair, letting half of it stay draped over his shoulder.

"Very nice," purred Roy. Ed looked over and into Roy's eyes, which had gone half-mast already. Ed offered up a smile at the praise, and continued to stand from the couch.

"Hm," hummed Ed absently. He had already given up on paying attention to the game.

Ed took two steps towards the armchair with Roy in it before that voice commanded him to stop again. This time it was his sweater that had to go. Ed slowly gripped the bottom and pulled it over his head, letting it fall to the floor at his feet. He shivered slightly from the chill in the air. Roy was such a stickler for turning on the heat in the winter.

"Your nipples are already hard," murmured Roy with a smirk.

Ed looked down at his chest and could see that Roy was right. Even through his T-shirt he could see the little nubs standing hard at attention.

"Ed?" said Al a little more insistently. Ed grunted this time and frowned at the window he was staring at but not really seeing. Each time Al spoke, he ruined his fantasy. "If you didn't want to play, why did you suggest this game?" asked Al peevishly. "What are you thinking about?" asked Al, pulling Ed's hand of cards out of his loose grip and putting them on top of his, working all the cards together into a pile to shuffle.

"What did you say?" asked Ed distractedly. Ed blinked at his hand, just noticing his missing cards, and then looked down the bed at his brother.

"What's the matter? Are you tired or something?" wondered Al, frowning now and looking intently at him.

"Er, not really," answered Ed, leaning back into the pillows at his back with a sigh. He'd play with his memories later. Right now it was the only way he could be close to Roy, since he hadn't been back since he'd brought over his stuff from his dorm—before that, even. Ed reached over to his bedside table, pulled off the Xing book, opening it randomly and just stared at the pictures.

"Where's Roy? He's hasn't been here since we got here," wondered Al, his voice cautious and once again disrupting Ed's desire to just be still and not think.

Ed frowned at the pages of the book and randomly flipped to a new section. He really wanted to lie and say that Roy had come, just not when Al, Winry, and Pinako were here, but they were here too much for that to fly. He also contemplated saying that Roy was busy at work, but didn't want to make the effort to speak. He began to flip the pages faster, seemingly searching for something, and when he got to the end, he started from the beginning, flipping each page.

"Ed," said Al softly, placing a hand over the book to still his furious page turning. Ed couldn't make his head move to look at Al. His perfect brother; in the flesh and beautiful once again. When he had first restored him, Ed hadn't be able to stop looking at his little brother, but right now he couldn't stand to look at him. He felt like he'd let him down somehow, messing things up with Roy like he had. Even though Roy insisted that it wasn't his fault, he knew better.

Al leaned closer and placed a hand on his shoulder, keeping his hand over the book. "Ed, where's Roy?"

Ed swallowed hard and blinked at his brother's hand in his lap. The hand on his shoulder began to rub up and down, and finally Al removed his hand to cup his cheek. He began to shake, ever so lightly. He didn't want to say it out loud. If it was just between the two of them, no one need know. But if he started to tell others they would know that it was all his fault. He resisted Al's attempts to raise his head and just shook his head in denial. Now both Al's hands cupped his cheeks.

The small tremors became more pronounced, and he was sure Al could feel it. Al shifted on the bed and picked the book out of his lap, closing it and placing it back on the side table. Then he was back and seated at his hip. Ed still would not look at him, so Al pulled him forward and let him rest on his shoulder. He resisted at first, not wanting comfort at all, but when Al started to rub both his neck and his lower back, Ed reached over and fisted the sweater at his brother's back, pulling him close.

"Ed," Al said softly in his ear. "Tell me. What happened?"

"No," he said gruffly into Al's collar bone. "If I do, you'll think I'm a screw up." As soon as he had started speaking he knew he wouldn't be able to stop. Al instigated this... "Roy—he—I fucked up, Al. I messed it all up with Roy, and now he won't even see me anymore. I tried to talk to him, but he just keeps saying that it's all his fault, but I know I did it. I didn't pay enough attention to him, and he thinks I'm no good, or I'm not good for him. I don't know. It's really messed up. I even tried acting out in order to get him to come, but then when he did I saw that he was tired and I was only being selfish... He told me I was selfish—am I selfish, Al? I don't know. I mean, all I did was give to you, to Nina, anyone really, who need my help. And he said you hated me, but then he told me he lied, but I'm not sure... Do you hate me, Al? For what I done to you. Do you? I'm so sorry that I fucked that up as well, you know I love you, right?"

Ed squeezed his brother close and ground his forehead into Al's neck, trying to hide. Al said nothing, but he did place a kiss on the side of his head, and he fought with himself to not cry again. He had enough! It was so tiring to cry.

"We had a fight, just before the accident," continued Ed, unable to stop now, unwilling to hear if his brother really did hate him. "He...he just started going on and on about all this shit, and it was out of the blue, and I reacted badly when he shared a piece of himself. But how was I to know he was doing that since he always blocked me whenever I asked about personal stuff before." He was jumping around now, he knew, but he couldn't stop.

"I don't really know anything about him. He's got my whole fucking history for pretty much the whole world to see locked up in his office and I got nothing! Is that fair? And even though he says I'm an adult, he's treating me like a kid and deciding that this break-up is right. But I don't want to break-up. Yes, I'm mad at how he yelled at me, but that doesn't mean I want to walk away from him. I don't want anyone else! It's only Roy who makes me feel good and angry, happy and frustrated. I don't want anyone else!" said Ed with a gasp.

Ed panted softly into Al's shoulder, waiting for him to say how disappointed his was with him. But it never came. All Al did was hold him close. For all their problems, Ed didn't want to walk away from Roy. He cared about the stupid bastard...dammit! Why the hell had Roy put all these thoughts and emotions in his head only to walk away? He should fucking take responsibility for this!

Al pulled him away from his neck and looked him in the eye. "Do you love him?" Al asked softly, brushing his long bangs out of his face.

Ed shrugged, pulling his face away from Al's hand. "I don't even know what love is between two people," he said in answer to Al's question. "I know I love you, Al, but this is a different kind of love then what you're asking. I just don't know if what I feel is 'romantic love'." Ed looked up and studied his brother's face. The one thing he wanted to ask his brother so much ever since Al had started going out with Winry, now seemed liked it was of the utmost importance.

"Do you love Winry?" asked Ed quietly, covertly watching his brother out of the corner of his eye. He had been watching them together every chance he got. They seemed to communicate without words, using only glances and touch to speak. When one of them was tired, the other seemed to know. It was the little things that Ed noticed between them. The cup of coffee unasked for, the brief hug as they switched chairs... The thoughtfulness was something way beyond what he could ever be. He just didn't pay enough attention to be that aware of someone else's needs on that level.

When he thought about how he and Roy...were—dammit, he was already using past tense when thinking about it! He and Roy could never just say stuff with a glance like Al and Winry seemed able to do! They had to rely on words or slamming each other down onto the bed and ripping off each other's clothing.

Why didn't Roy ever look at him like Winry looked at Al? Did he ever look at Roy like that? This all went back to the 'do you love Roy' question, and he just didn't know! The love between two people was so different compared to the love between family. He just didn't know...

Al sighed and looked down at the bed between them, and then smiled slowly. "Yeah..."

"How do you know?" wondered Ed, feeling jealous for the dreamy, far off look that was on Al's face. Why couldn't Roy ever look like that about him! "What if it isn't love? How do you know?"

"I just do," said Al with a shrug.

Ed frowned. How was that supposed to help him? Al could do better then that. He needed help here! He was clueless to figure this out on his own. If Al would just tell him what he was supposed to be feeling, it'd help him to know if he was...in...love.

"Ed," warned Al, placing a hand on his knee, and meeting his angry glare. "Love isn't something you can quantify or study, it just is. There are no rules to define what you feel as love. It's different for everyone, I think. If you want to be with someone all the time, listen to them when they're sad, share in their happiness, that's love."

"But—" began Ed, but was interrupted by Al.

"You and Roy are both so alike. You don't know how to express your feelings clearly, and so misunderstandings happen." Ed snorted sarcastically. "Yeah, you know all about that don't you?" asked Al with a smile, making Ed smile sadly in return.

"Ed, why didn't you say something five days ago when we first got here? You just kept it bottled up all this time?" said Al with a worried frown.

Ed looked down at his lap and shrugged. He'd been so happy to see everyone; it was such a nice distraction from his confused mind, and then he didn't want to bother Al with his problems. It was—had been—his problem alone. He hadn't wanted to share it with Al at that time. If he did, it would have been one more step closer to real...and he was right, sharing it with Al left him feeling empty and raw, but good too, in a way.

"I don't hate you, brother," said Al answering his earlier question. Ed looked up to see if Al was telling the truth and saw the veracity of what his little brother was saying. "You did the impossible. You got my body back. You worked so hard, for someone so young. I'm proud of you, really," said Al, his voice full of conviction. "And as soon as Granny and Winry get back from their meeting with your doctor," Al continued, his face taking on a dark and dangerous look. "I'm going to have a few words with Colonel Mustang."

* * *

"Hold still!" snapped Winry, giving his pony tail a hard tug.

"I'm fucking trying too, but you keep pulling at my shoulder," growled Ed in return, running his hand along his hair and pulling it over his other shoulder to keep it out of her reach. His T-shirt that Roy brought from his dorm room lay in his lap to allow Winry to shine a light into the inner workings of his shoulder.

"I'm trying to see just how bad things are twisted," his pseudo-sister said, ducking back down to resume her study. "And don't swear!" she added as an afterthought.

"You already did that as soon as you got here, and then did it again the day after that, and the day after tha—"

"This is serious, Ed. The surgery needed to correct this will be really difficult. You could loose the use of your auto-mail. So much time has passed already," finished Winry with a shake of her head.

"The port looks good, Winry," Pinako said from her chair at the end of the bed, her unlit pipe hanging out of her mouth.

"I know. But the receptor for his arm is pressing on the nerves. It's not even straight anymore," Winry said loudly, turning to look at Pinako, who just sat there silently and passively. Ed's eyes darted between the two of them making him quirk an eyebrow at them in silent question.

"I'm not worried," Ed offered into the silent staring match. He absently picked at the tape on his lower stomach, pulling it off half way and then replacing it. "I know you can fix it, Winry." With a loud, dramatic sigh, Winry turned around to give him 'the look'.

"In two more days, you'll be released into our care," Pinako said, removing the pipe in order to talk. "The train ride will be hard on you, but we really can't wait any longer. As it is, the chances that you'll reject the arm are really high, and even if the surgery works and the arm too, you might not be able to have the fine motor control that you had in the past."

Ed knew that, having been told that in a loud lecture the day after their arrival. Since Winry couldn't beat him while he was in bed like this—small saving grace that had been—she could only yell in his face, and occasionally spit on him by accident. She had also begun to pull his hair rather then beating him. He wasn't quite sure what he preferred, but it wasn't like he wanted any of this to happen. It was an accident after all.

He might have to deal with not having a second arm really soon. It'd suck...but he didn't think it'd be a huge inconvenience. Small things would bother him, like dressing himself, and doing his hair. He might have to cut it all off if he couldn't keep it neat any longer. The military frowned on messy hair for some reason... Ed sighed. It'd suck that he had to leave with things still so unsettled between him and Roy. If only he could talk to him one more time before he left.

"It'll be fine," said Ed, but he couldn't help but wonder how much the train ride would irritate his wounds and his brave words rang hallow to him. He knew that this would be just the beginning of his troubles as he had the corrective surgery to look forward to once he got home.

"We'll see about that, pipsqueak," said Pinako, replacing the pipe in her mouth.

"Don't call me pipsqueak, ya old bag," growled Ed.

Pinako hummed an affirmative then smiled at him. "Good. I'm glad your spirits are coming back. Al must have gotten you to talk."

That startled Ed out of his annoyance so much that he could only gape at her. He had thought that he was a bit better at hiding his problems from them. But he must be really bothered by Roy for them to pick up on it too. Now he wondered if Al had said anything to them. He didn't want everyone to know that he and Roy were having troubles.

"Yeah, Ed. You were totally depressing to be around, now at least you're fighting back somewhat," said Winry, reaching out to grab his pony tail, giving it a tug. Ed glared at her. "You can put your shirt back on," said Winry, replacing her tools back into her tool box on the floor.

Shooting another glare at the back of Winry's head, Ed began to sort out his shirt, pulling it right side out, and laying it across his legs. One handed, Ed snaked his arm into his shirt and out the arm hole. He grabbed the bottom of the shirt and pulled it over his head. There was a thump beside him while his head was inside the shirt. With a quick tug, he pulled the shirt down and looked down at the bed to see his busted arm, still covered in his blood, lying beside him.

"Can you believe that when they took this off, they threw it out!" said Winry, sounding completely aghast at the notion. "I found it in the dumpster!"

"Ugh...ah, Winry...maybe it shouldn't be on my bed then," suggested Ed, picturing all the things his arm could've touched making him shudder. He shuffled his bum towards the other side of the bed, only wanting to be as far away from it as possible until it had sat in a sterilizing vat of alcohol for about a month.

"Don't be stupid, Ed!" said Winry snidely and began to play with the fingers, making them bend. "I cleaned it."

"It's not stupid to not want to get sick again! Take it off! Granny, do something!" demanded Ed, looking to Pinako for help.

"Winry," said Pinako, taking her pipe out of her mouth to do so.

"Oh, all right," huffed Winry, lifting the arm off the bed to place in her lap.

As soon as the arm was gone, Ed ripped his sheet off the bed. "Granny, get me that other sheet from the bed behind you," said Ed as he dropped his sheet to the floor. Pinako grunted at him, but complied.

"So, what did the doctor say," wondered Ed, watching as Winry started to break down his arm into pieces.

"Nothing new," Pinako said as she lifted the neighboring bed's blanket off. "We mostly went over your travel arrangements to the train and what sort of medication you'd be on while in our care."

"But I thought that I'm not supposed to be on anything in case it messes with the nerves," commented Ed, pressing his lips in thought. That was what he was always told anyway. Auto-mail required that the user be alert without the influence of drugs in order to correctly be able to communicate with the engineer about what they were feeling.

"That's why you won't be," said Winry, brandishing a small screwdriver at him. Oh...well that answers that question.

Pinako threw the blanket messily across his legs. With his feet, Ed began to straighten out the blanket so it covered more or less all of his body.

"That's another reason why it'll be hard on you," mumbled Winry.

Ed turned his head to find her intent on her work. He sighed. He wasn't looking forward to the amount of pain he was soon going to have to endure. His body hurt a lot at the moment, but he didn't have to worry about while on the trip. He didn't really feel much of anything except for a stiffness around his middle and the fact that he was quite weak at the moment. Adding auto-mail surgery on top lack of painkillers would quite possibly do him in.

"You'll get your last painkiller just before boarding the train. After that, you'll be on your own," said Pinako, resuming her seat. "We need you clean of all the drugs as soon as we get home. We'll start right away."

Ed sighed. "Right," he said without enthusiasm. He settled himself on the bed, lying on his back. He didn't feel tired at the moment but just the thought of what was coming and he figured that for once he'd take care of himself and rest up now while he had the chance.

Letting his eyes slide closed, Ed allowed himself to take this chance to think about Roy. He wondered what Al could possibly be saying to him and how Roy would react to having his brother in his face. There was no doubt that Al would be in Roy's face at this point. Even though Al had been nice the whole time when Winry and Pinako had come back from their meeting with his doctor, he could tell that Al was simmering hot underneath the surface. As well as Winry knew Al, he didn't think she had picked up on his mood, or even knew to look for it. It was only because he had seen Al clamp down on his emotions that he was able to watch for the signs. It was rather scary to see that Al could have a temper too and he made a mental note to never get on Al's bad side...ever.

* * *

It surprised him to know that he slept through the rest of the afternoon and all through the night to wake up in the morning when the nurse came with her tray of medication. He hadn't had such a good restful sleep in a long time. It must have been because he'd told Al about his problems... Ed opened his eyes wide.

Al had gone to talk to Roy yesterday!

He looked to the chairs by his bedside, but they were empty. It must still be too early for them to be here... Maybe Al had convinced Roy to come today! Ed planted his elbow into the mattress and raised his upper body slowly. It would soon be time for his morning painkiller and judging from the twinges he was experiencing right now it might even be a bit late.

Ed forced his body upwards until he was seated on the bed, looking down the room at the other occupants. With an impatient sigh, he turned his attention to the far window to see gray clouds reaching far into the distance. Judging from the way his auto-mail ached today, it was going to snow later. Ed covered his damaged port with his left hand, rubbing it sympathetically.

He watched the spindly branches sway in the wind as the nurse added his painkiller to his drip line. He didn't, however, acknowledge her greeting. After all this time he was still sore at her for not listening to him when he had refused his meds almost a week and a half ago.

It wasn't long after she left that Al and Winry came through the doors at the end of the room, all smiles for each other. Ed felt his hopeful mood vanish into annoyance at his brother and Winry. How come they could be so fucking happy all the time? It just wasn't fair.

"Good morning, Ed," Al called out as they neared. "Pinako's coming later on. She found it hard to get out of bed this morning. Her arthritis is acting up."

"Yeah, it's going to snow later," said Ed.

"Ah, so you're auto-mail is aching?" wondered Al. Ed nodded, letting his gaze drop into his lap.

"Well, Ed, are you grumpy again today?" asked Winry. Ed could hear the good humor in her voice, but he didn't feel like responding. He could hear someone take the chair near the foot of his bed.

"Humph," grunted Ed. He fiddled with his blankets, pinching it between his fingers and tangling it in his fist.

"Hey, Win? How about getting us some coffee and a cinnamon bun for Ed from the shop down the street?" suggested Al. Ed looked up to see another one of those silent communications in progress. Winry nodded, and left them alone. Ed watched her leave. He wanted to be sure she wouldn't hear anything before Al started to tell him just what happened the other day. As soon as the door closed behind her, Ed turned to Al who was already seated in the chair and watching him.

"So?" he asked, leaning forward.

"I can see why you have trouble understanding him. You don't pay attention to the little things, but it's there—"

"Al! Just tell me already!" demanded Ed, getting impatient. He didn't want to hear about Al's views or theories about Roy, he wanted answers!

Al let his mouth close over the rest of whatever he was about to say. Great, now he'd just offended the only person other then himself who had talked to Roy about their breakup and now Al was going to be stingy and not tell him anything!

"Oh, com'on Al, don't be like that! Please!" begged Ed shamelessly. He shuffled his way to the edge of the bed, taking the blankets with him so that he could sit right in front of his brother. He reached across the distance between them and placed his left hand on Al's right shoulder, pulling him closer. "Please," asked Ed again. He thrust out his bottom lip, putting on his best wounded look to try and sway his brother into telling him.

"Fine, but you got to listen to what I say!" said Al, his face impassive. Ed grinned hugely. "And you can't interrupt me at all, or I won't tell you anything!"

"Yeah—yes, I will. I promise," said Ed, nodding his head to add weight to his promise.

"Okay, get comfortable, I don't want you to tire yourself out," suggested Al, lifting Ed's hand from his shoulder. Al propped up his pillows behind his head and smoothed out his blankets. Ed settled back into the bed and looked over at Al as he brought his chair closer to his head.

"Well, as you might have realized," began Al, leaning one arm into the mattress, and letting his head rest in his palm. "Roy is someone used to hiding things. But...I was able to learn some stuff that he didn't tell me."

"Yeah?" How could that be true? Although, if he thought about it, Al was better at learning stuff then he ever was, all without using his fists or anything.

"Don't interrupt!" snapped Al, his eyes flashing dangerously. Al liked having something that he wanted to know. His sadistic side always came out, and he had to tease and torture him before he reviled all that he had learned. He could never just get to the point. He always had to take to long way. It was probably something he had learned from being in the armor.

"Sorry, sorry, please continue."

"Right." There was a pause, where Al seemed to be lost in thought. As impatient as Ed was becoming, he was going to hold his tongue. Al would talk, when Al was ready. "Well, I went over to his house, and I had to bang on the door for a long time before he answered it. You didn't mention that he was in such rough shape," said Al, a slight accusing tone.

Ed bit his lip in shame, but didn't comment. He just assumed that Al knew. His brother must have talked to someone to know that Roy had been hurt as well.

"Anyway," continued Al, annoyed. "We talked over coffee." Ed nodded his head encouragingly. The only thing that he could do that shouldn't count as interrupting...he hopped.

"I had thought that after all this time, one of you would have stopped being so pig-headed and learned how to talk to the other, but it seems not. He seems embarrassed about coming to see you, and used us being here as an excuse for why he hasn't been."

Ed choked around a peeved snort, also hoping that it wouldn't count as interrupting. Roy was always looking for a way out, an excuse, an explanation. It was always a story with him.

"I think he really regrets what happened that day," Al said lowly. Ed let his face fall. Yeah, he'd seen just how sad and tired Roy seemed to be. But he had just assumed that it was from his injuries and not because he was upset over what had happened that day.

"Ed, I'll ask you again. Do you love him?" wondered Al, meeting his gaze with his soft gray-brown eyes.

Ed pressed his lips and sighed. He hadn't thought about it since Al had last asked, but he knew that he had to decide if he was in love with Roy, or just really close to him. Al had said that love meant that he should want to be around Roy even in the bad times as well as the good times. Well, he wanted Roy now and this certainly qualified as a bad time. When they were good, it was really fun. They would banter back and forth, testing the limits of their verbal play that doubled as foreplay for the bedroom.

Just thinking about it now, made his chest squeeze unpleasantly. He wanted Roy here more then anything, and he wanted to touch him even more. He missed how a simple hug could take away all the stress of the day, relaxing him. He missed Roy's smell and he struggled to even recall how his cologne smelt. The texture of the stupid bastard's hair was also fading from memory. He had never thought he needed to commit to memory how the stupid bastard's hair felt because they would always be fucking together...at least...that was what he had assumed...

Ed sniffled slightly. Fuck, he did miss Roy... "Yeah," said Ed so softly he didn't know if Al could hear him. "Yes," he said, louder this time. "I love the fucking, stupid, stubborn bastard. And...I really miss him."

"Roy does too. He didn't say it out loud, but I could tell. When I asked him, you could see it in his eyes," said Al with a contented smile.

"Then where is he? I want to see him!" whined Ed, throwing his hand up in frustration. "He should be here and not fucking sulking at home!"

"He's...really...upset about what happened. I think he's taking all the blame, but it was really hard to tell what he might be feeling. He's not one to let others see his hand, is he?" wondered Al.

"No! The bastard!" grumbled Ed, thrusting out his bottom lip in annoyance.

"You do that as well, you know," murmured Al. Ed just frowned harder at his brother. "You don't open up very well. When you were younger, it might have been necessary, but there's no reason for it now. Ed...I want you to try to let Roy in."

"Nothing like asking for the impossible, eh?" grumbled Ed.

* * *

The day of his discharge started earlier then normal. At six a.m., one of the nurses shook him awake and began to help him get dressed in loose slacks that Al had gotten for him and one of his T-shirts from the bag Roy had brought. He was bundled up in a large sweater and his red coat, and put into a wheelchair, where a thick blanket was wrapped around his legs. Al and Winry met him at the door, Al replacing the nurse and taking control of his chair, Winry going back for his bag.

Ed rubbed at his eyes wearily. The drugs usually had him sleeping until eight most days, so he didn't feel all that alert at the moment. He rested his elbow on the arm of his chair, letting his head lean on his knuckles. Throughout the night he had strange dreams. Some of them had been a rehashing of his old nightmares, but then they had shifted slightly and it was all about Roy. It had been so real...at one point he could have sworn until he was black and blue that he was at Roy's place, laying on the couch with his head pillowed in Roy's lap while he read a book. Even worse, was that he felt Roy's arm on his shoulder.

He let his eyes close to try recall the weight of Roy's hand, the way he felt as he snoozed in Roy's lap, but he couldn't conjure up how Roy had smelled. He missed that. That was how he knew it was a dream and not real. After that, he couldn't remember if he had had any more dreams, because he was being woken up to get ready for the train.

There was a soft murmur of voices around him, sending him deeper into a doze with the smooth whispering quality to their voices. Roy's voice seemed to be whispering to him, indistinct words buzzing in his head. So deep did he fall into his nap that when his head slipped off his hand, he jerked in his seat in fright, pulling his stomach a bit too far. Ed hissed in pain as he felt his sore body protest the sudden movement.

"All right there, Edward?" asked Dr. Maple. Ed just blinked at him blearily from across the office. "That's alright." Dr. Maple smiled kindly at him. Ed blinked once and then frowned at the man. "Mrs. Rockbell, the ambulance will be here soon to take you down to the train station. Do you have all the instructions?" asked the doctor, turning away from the frown Ed was sending his way.

"Yes, it's all here. Don't worry. We deal with things like this all the time," said Pinako from somewhere behind Ed. She came forward to take a small bundle of papers and a paper bag from the doctor's outstretched hand.

"Very good. Let's get him downstairs then," said the doctor, standing from behind his desk.

A large hand landed on Ed's right shoulder, making him turn. Al smiled down at him. Since when did Al's hands get so big? Ed frowned as he reached up to take a closer look at how large Al's hands were. He could see the questioning look Al was giving him, but he allowed him to turn his hand over.

"Al?" asked Ed softly, letting go of his brother's hand. He looked up at Al's face while he leaned down to hear him. "I want to call Roy before I go."

"You do? Great! But we might have to wait until we get to the station."

"What time is it?" wondered Ed. He thought that the train didn't leave until ten, so why were they going there so early?

"It's going on nine o'clock," said Al, turning his chair around to follow behind Pinako and the doctor.

"What! It's just after six...right?"

Al laughed behind him, making Ed frown. "You fell asleep," said Al simply. Ed snorted at him. Yeah, he was there when he woke up, but he didn't think it was that long of a sleep.

Ed fell silent for the short elevator ride down to the first floor. He was already thinking about what he should say to Roy. He wanted to be able to call him while he was in the country. He needed to know that he could still have at least some sort of contact with him, however small. He just hoped that Roy didn't yell at him for calling him. Al had better be right about Roy feeling sad about this. That meant that he probably hadn't meant for this, any of this, to happen.

The morning was cold. The snow that fell last night had been scrapped away into the growing piles at the end of the concrete walk. An ambulance was parked, waiting for them to board. Pinako was already climbing into the front cab with the driver and Winry was stowing his bag beside the other bags. Al helped him to stand, seating him on the stretcher, with Al sliding in beside Winry.

At the train station, Al once again helped him to stand. Ed hated the way his legs felt so weak and tired. He couldn't' wait until he would be able to exercise once more. His muscles were vanishing even faster now. He hated to admit it, but he probably looked like a really...small...thin stick.

"Al, don't forget, I want to call Roy," he murmured to his brother as he was made to sit back into his wheelchair.

"Don't worry, I got your nickel ready and everything."

"I don't want anyone else to hear my conversation. Can you make sure they stay away?" asked Ed as they made their way into the station.

"Sure," said Al, reaching forward to place a warm nickel into Ed's relaxed hand. "There's a phone with a seat," said Al pointed to a row of booths along the wall. "You can close the door if you like. We don't have much time, so don't talk too long, okay?"

Ed nodded as they approached the phone booth. Al locked his chair in place, helped him to stand up so they could shuffle awkwardly into the cramped space. Sitting on the cold, hard seat, Ed watched as Al lifted the receiver from its cradle, handed it to him and then took his nickel. He could feel the nervous fluttering start up in his stomach at the thought that he would very shortly be hearing Roy's voice. He shifted on the seat, his flesh foot tapping impatiently against the back of the booth. Al dialed Roy's number for him. He wasn't sure if he'd be able to do it. It was great that his little brother was so thoughtful.

"Okay," said Al as he let the rotary dial tick its way back to its starting position. "Play nice." Al smiled encouragingly at him as he pulled the door mostly shut.

Ed took a steadying breath as the phone began to ring and slowly let it sigh out his mouth. He could do this. He talked to Roy hundreds of times on the phone for any number of reasons. This time would be no different. He was just calling to say 'hi, how are things' and that was that. There didn't have to be a hidden agenda. All of a sudden he didn't have any more time to think about how easy this was going to be, because he could hear the other side of the line pick up. His heart did a little tap dance inside his chest.

"_Hello?"_ said Roy, his voice sounding very neutral. He heard Roy clear his throat before saying, _"This is Mustang."_

Ed actually had an intense moment of panic before his brain kicked back in and told him he needed to respond. "Er...hey...it's...uh, Ed. Did I wake you?" he asked hesitatingly. Ed bit his lip in his nervousness. He sounded so pathetic it was embarrassing.

"_Ed..."_ He heard Roy mumble and he noted the shock there as well. _"No, no you didn't wake me..."_ said Roy briskly. _"I... What can I do for you?" _

"Er...well..." stammered Ed. What could he say? Roy sounded like maybe he was in the middle of something. "I just wanted to apologize for the way Al...sorta...got in your face the other day. He, ah, made me talk... and... well... I..." Ed closed his mouth with a press of his lips. He didn't like how this was going. And he wasn't all that sorry that Al had gone over to talk with Roy. He was glad that Al had done that.

There was a short silence on the line before Roy then said, _"There's nothing for you to apologize for. Your brother has valuable insights and makes good coffee."_

"Oh..." grunted Ed. For some reason knowing that Al had been able to do something better then he could and that Roy appreciated it made him feel left out and annoyed. "I, uh...I'm going home—to Rezembool—for a while." Ed sighed. He wished that Roy would suddenly speak up and say that 'that's not your home, your home is with me' but the chances of that seemed incredibly slim. "I'm such a fucking idiot sometimes," Ed hissed under his breath, low enough that Roy wouldn't be able to make it out.

"_How long will you be gone?"_ asked Roy, breaking through his jumbled thoughts.

Ed sighed again, this time because it would be a long time before he could be back. "I...don't know. It'll be pretty rough. My arm is pretty messed up... But that's in no way your fault you know!" Ed hastened to add, as he recalled Al's comment about Roy blaming himself. "I don't blame you or anything! It...it was just an accident." Ed let out a frustrated sigh. He wasn't making any sense. And he hadn't even asked if he could call yet. "I don't even know what I'm saying..." he grumbled.

"_Are you going to be alright to travel?"_ wondered Roy, sounding very concerned.

Ed sat up too quickly, hearing those words. The resulting twinge from his stomach made him stifle a gasp. "Er, well I don't really have a choice. This can't wait any longer," he said around gritted teeth.

"_Of course..."_ murmured Roy. There was a slight pause in which no one spoke. Ed shifted—slower this time—on the bench. _"Ed..."_

"Yeah?" There was another pause, this time Ed was waiting for what ever Roy would say, unsure if he wanted to hear it.

"_I'm glad you called..."_ said Roy softly.

Roy sounded so lost, and lonely. It was just the opening he was hoping for. "Can I call again? After the surgery? Maybe?" asked Ed carefully. He chewed on his lip in anticipation. As the seconds crept by, Ed's heart began to thud against his chest. He stared blindly out the booth, frozen.

"_I would like that..."_ Roy finally said softly.

"Are you sure? Cause you can say that you don't want me bothering you, I'd understand," said Ed, forcing himself to sound like he couldn't care either way. It was then that Al reappeared at the booth's door, opening it very slightly and waving at him to get his attention.

"Ed?" murmured Al, then grimaced apolitically that he had to interrupt the conversation.

"Just sec..." said Ed into the phone, then placing the receiver in his lap, he covered the mouthpiece so that Roy wouldn't hear just in case Al was going to say something embarrassing. Al chose the worst time to butt in. Roy would have time to think about it now, and might decide that he didn't want him calling.

"Sorry. I just want to remind you that there's not much time left. You better wrap it up," said Al, offering him a quick smile.

"Okay," said Ed, waiting until Al had pulled the booth door back into place again. He lifted the receiver up to his ear. "Ah, I got to go soon. I got, like, five more minutes, so..."

"_Of course... Don't let me keep you; I don't want you hurting yourself rushing to the train."_ said Roy. Ed could swear that he sounded disappointed at the thought that he had to go. Al had mentioned that Roy might love him, but he wasn't sure if he believed that or not. Could this be a hint of that love? Or was it more guilt over the fight and the accident? And still he hadn't gotten his answer about the phone calls.

"But what about me calling? You didn't sound like you wanted me to. Maybe I could write instead? I'm not the best letter writer, but, I mean I'm going to be in bed for a while, so maybe now I would be, you never know. Maybe I'll write to you anyway, you don't have to mail me back or anything, that way, you can still know what I'm up too, without pestering people to check up on me like in the old days."

Ed laughed, more for the fact that Roy's habitual need for finding out information had really annoyed him to no end when they were still looking for the stone. "I can tell you all about how Winry likes to bug the shit outta me. Daily!" continued Ed, almost dreading what she would do to him now that he wasn't going to be going anywhere for a long time. Ed clicked his tongue. Yeah, there was no way she was going to let this opportunity pass her by. "Oh, shit, I'm rambling again—fuck! Sorry," said Ed quickly. Why did he always seem to be doing that lately?

"_Ed,"_ said Roy, sounding perplexed. Well, at least Roy was baffled by his ramblings as well. But he had to wonder...maybe Roy might be upset with him for that.

"Eh? What? I didn't piss you off or anything, did I? I'm sorry, I didn't mean too," said Ed quickly. Fuck knows he didn't need to start pissing Roy off now. "I'm a fuck up no matter what I do, aren't I?" grumbled Ed to himself. Once again, too low for Roy to hear.

"_Edward. Be quiet and listen to me for a moment,"_ ordered Roy. Ed actually squeaked. He squeaked when Roy said that. Damn! _"I said you could call, that means you can call. If you want to write,"_ said Roy, then paused. "Well." He paused again. _"That's fine too."_

"I can? You sure?" asked Ed again. He couldn't believe that Roy had said yes!

"_Am I supposed to say 'no' after a specific number of times that you ask?"_ wondered Roy in a dull voice.

Ed had to laugh, at himself and at what Roy said. "I don't know, maybe? I'm sorry, lets blame that on the drugs, please," said Ed, a smirk working it's way across his face. He was so spastic sometimes.

"_Alright... but you can't use that excuse every time,"_ said Roy, a note of teasing there. It made Ed very happy to hear that. Roy was playing with him. It was cautious, but it was better then nothing. And it was funny too, making him snicker.

"Too bad though. That's a good excuse," said Ed. He looked over his shoulder, looking for Al. He wanted to be able to meet his eyes so he'd know that it was going well. Instead of Al, Ed found Winry stomping her way across the station towards him. He had a moment where he considered bolting out of the booth and making a break for it. But then he remembered that he could hardly even walk let alone run.

"Ah, fuck, I got to go," said Ed into the phone, watching Winry get closer and closer until she was only feet away. "Winry's stalking over towards me and it doesn't look pretty. Do you know?" asked Ed as Winry tired to fold the door open, but Ed planted his foot on it. He was so going to get it! "She's taken to pulling my hair. I hate that, but it's better then the usual, which is a wrench thrown at me—" Winry forced the door open, knocking his foot aside in the process.

"Okay, okay!" shouted Ed, retreating into the corner of the booth. She glared at him, one hand on her hip while the other reached out for his precious hair and he couldn't fend her off, because that would mean letting go of the phone, and he couldn't do that. "No! Don't pull my hair!"

"Ed! We're going to be late, wrap this up!" nagged Winry. Then she did it, she pulled his hair.

"Ack! I said don't pull my hair! Dammit! I got to go, Roy," said Ed, ignoring Winry for Roy. He didn't want to leave right now, but he didn't have a choice. Things were starting to sound rather good! If only he could have five—no, ten more minutes!

"_Have a safe trip..."_ Roy said.

"Yeah...I'll call you after the procedure." Ed faltered. He wasn't quite sure how he wanted to end this call, but didn't have the time to figure it out, so he settled for the mundane. "Bye," he said lowly into the receiver.

"_Bye..."_ said Roy, matching his tone of voice.

Ed pulled the phone away from his ear, handing it to Winry to place it back on its cradle. He stared at the silent phone with longing and confusion. There might yet be hope for them judging from the way Roy had sounded, but until he heard it clearly from Roy's own mouth and not from Al's inferences he wasn't going to truly believe that Roy might still have feelings for him. He hoped, though.

He let Winry help him back into his wheelchair, even allowing her to tuck in the blanket around his legs. The conversation replay itself in his mind. Did he dare hope that he had a chance to work things out, or should he prepare for the worst and assume that he had no chance, that way if anything did happen, he'd be so much more surprised and happy. It did sound like Roy was happy to hear from him...maybe. And it did sound like Roy was sad that he had to get off the phone.

With a sigh, Ed ran his hand through his long bangs. It was too much, and he didn't know how to deal with all this very well, so he was guessing at best. He hardly paid any attention to what was happening around him as he got lifted into the train. Pinako had arranged for a private cabin for the journey—on Ed's tab, of course. The bed was already set up and ready for him. As soon as he was settled on the thin mattress, Pinako jabbed him with his last painkiller for the foreseeable future.

Ed looked across the cabin at his brother. It seemed like maybe Al had been watching him for a while now, and he offered up an encouraging smile for him. He wasn't sure when he'd be able to talk to Al about all this, but as soon as he got the chance, he'd be asking Al for help. He needed it, obviously.

With a slow slide of metal on metal, the train lurched forward once. A high piercing whistle of steam could be heard throughout the train and the station, then they were moving, slowly at first but gaining speed. Three days on the train to get back home. Three days without any relief from the pain, then the operation. Ed sighed again. He missed Roy already.

"Al?" wondered Ed over the noise of the train.

"Yes, Ed?"

"Help me write a letter?" asked Ed, looking across the cabin at his brother with a smile.

--To Be Continued--

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Reviews are love. Don't forget to read/review Zakai's version as well


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: I don't own...obviously.

**Roy's dialog belongs to ZaKai. Be sure to check out Roy's POV for his side of this via my profile XD**

Beware the flash back :D Sorry about the lateness of this update. I'm sure everyone has forgotten about this fic, but if you stop by, please review for both of us.

**Chapter 10**

"You'll do fine, Ed. Just be yourself, but not too much like yourself," Al said from somewhere in their dorm room.

Ed frowned at his reflection. "What does that even _mean_?" asked Ed from the bathroom. He almost wished Al would hurry up and admit that he no longer wanted to be in Central, but be back home...where Winry was. But he wouldn't go until he knew Ed would be okay...whatever that meant. He could take care of himself just fine.

"It means you're hopeless in the best of situations?" offered Al.

"Fuck this! I'm not going," said Ed stubbornly. What made him think that it was okay to _hang out_with Mustang? Stupid bastard telling him all those things. Why the hell was he following him around only to tell him it was okay for two guys to be together? Why would the bastard even think about two guys together? It didn't make any sense.

"Don't be dense, Ed. Just try it," cajoled Al.

He knew it was a lost cause, really. If Al really wanted him to do something, he didn't have a flying fuck's chance in hell to get out of it. Better just to give in now and be done with it. "Fine Al, fine," said Ed, coming out of the bathroom, wrapping the elastic around the end of his braid.

"Are you wearing that?" wondered Al, looking him over with a sigh.

"Why? What's wrong with it?" asked Ed, looking down at his usual dark leather pants and his black tank-top. It was a warm day; there was no need for him to wear his jacket over top of this. Plus, since Roy seemed to like him like _that_it would be better to remind him sooner rather then later that he was like this; an amputee. Damaged goods.

Al shook his head at him, and sighed mightily as if Ed would be the death of him. To that Ed just raised an eyebrow at his brother. He watched as Al pinched his nose, his hair falling into his face. Ed would never get tired of seeing his brother in the flesh. He always found himself just_ staring_.

"I suppose he should at least be used to seeing you like that," said Al magnanimously.

"You're the poster child for kindness, you know that?" said Ed sarcastically as he scooped up his keys from the bedside table.

"Don't come home too soon, brother," called Al as he left the room, closing the door behind him. Ed hunched his shoulders wishing his brother would just shut up and stop drawing attention to him. Already he was receiving looks from the other enlisted men and women who happened to be in the hallways due to his arm, making him second guess his decision to forgo the jacket.

Deciding against heading back to his room, he left the dorms and began to walk towards the colonel's house. He questioned himself more then once on why he was doing this as he made his way through the base. Why had he finally given in and agreed to this 'date' idea of Mustang's? It was probably because of all those weird ideas he kept whispering in his ear whenever he got a chance.

He made short work of the walk to Mustang's house. He looked up at the row of two story attached houses, Mustang's apartment somewhere in the middle. It was really nice for an apartment. Somehow…that really surprised him. He sort of pictured Roy's place as being a dingy, run down hovel…not like _this_.

With a mental shrug and a sigh, Ed climbed up the three steps to the colonel's front door and stared at the knocker. He just couldn't do it. He couldn't knock on the bastard's front door like he wanted to be here. He shoved his hands deep into his pant pockets. Mustang wasn't going to know...it went against all that he was used to when dealing with the colonel. Being polite to the bastard...it didn't work. So instead, he kicked the door twice to announce his arrival.

There was no answer.

Ed stood outside the door, staining to hear what was going on behind it and the longer he stood out there the more annoyed he became. If the colonel was going to invite him out here, why wouldn't he be answering the fucking door?

Clicking his tongue, Ed pivoted on the ball of his foot and stomped down the stairs. As his left foot left the colonel's last step the front door opened. Ed turned back, looking over his shoulder to find the colonel out of uniform. Blinking at the unusual attire—a gray short sleeve shirt, jeans and a red apron—he looked up to see the colonel smiling hugely.

--

"Argh!" The strangled cry worked its way past his clenched teeth and into the sterile operating room. He had to force stillness on his body that only wanted to thrash and get away from the pain. And yet, here he was allowing it to happen and resisting the natural instinct to avoid pain.

"Hang in there, Ed," Winry said, handing a clean scalpel to Pinako. "You're doing fine."

Ed could only pant in response. His whole body was tense as the two women worked on righting the receptor in his arm. They had to have been working on his arm for what felt like days. Every time they inserted another tool into his shoulder, time froze and he had to remind himself to breath and not give into unconsciousness.

--

"Come in," the colonel said, pulling the door open wide enough for him to pass. Unable to make his mind get past the fact that the bastard was out of uniform and how bizarre it looked, Ed climbed the stairs again. The sound of the door closing was almost like getting locked up in a room with Scar and having to fight him without any alchemy. He was doomed.

"Let's go out back," said Mustang, a hand landing on his left shoulder making him tense. "That's where the fire pit is. I was just about to light it up and get the food started."

Being touched, and by the colonel no less, was so foreign that it completely took him off guard. He looked up, sidelong, at Mustang, trying to make his mouth form the words needed that would let Mustang know that he wasn't allowed to touch him but nothing came out. Perturbed by his own inability to express himself, Ed looked through the house to where 'out back' must be, letting Roy push him forward and could only mumble, "Um...okay."

Mustang then laughed at him, adding to his confusion. "Stop acting like I'm leading you to the pit of doom." He paused, Ed waited for what he would do next. "Oh, you haven't been here before, have you? Well, there's not much to see, but if you want a tour I can give you one after we eat."

Ed nodded, not really absorbing what Mustang said, other then that he had spoken. He was still caught up in the fact that Mustang touched him and all that it implied...and he wasn't sure even now, here in Mustang's house, if he was all that okay with it. "Right..." he mumbled; he was the one who had come at his own free will.

Mustang let his hand drop away and moved around him towards a patio door, opening it. "We're right over there," said the colonel, pointing out the door. Ed came forward, curious despite himself. He squeezed himself close to the other side of the window, as far away from Mustang as he could get, and looked out onto a wide manicured lawn seeing a fire pit with a blanket near it.

"Um...do you want me to...ah...help somehow?" wondered Ed, hating how he felt so out of his element.

Mustang stepped out onto the deck, waving for Ed to follow him. "Can you cut tomatoes?" asked Mustang, heading across the grass.

Ed pressed his lips in consideration. Most of the time, whenever he cooked it was easy stuff that came from a can or maybe Al, tired of seeing him eat so poorly, would go out and get something for him. Now that Al could eat too, he had taken over most of the cooking duties, using the dorm's communal kitchen. He hadn't ever cut a tomato before. "I don't know, I've never tried," he said at Mustang's back.

"I'm sure someone as skilled in so many areas won't have any problems," said Mustang. The colonel knelt down in front of the fire pit.

That kinda sounded like an insult, if he could just figure out _what_ was being insulted. Once he figured it out though, he was going to scream his head off at the bastard. But for now... "Okay, but don't get mad at me if I get it wrong, bastard," said Ed, watching as Mustang arranged the firewood in the pit and then stood. His eyes widened as he watched Mustang pull a glove from his jeans and slipped it on. The bastard was going to use alchemy to light the fire. It was both incredibly lazy and fascinating at the same time. He always covertly watched avidly whenever Mustang used his alchemy. It was always intense to see sparks and flame appear out of nowhere.

"I'm sure you'll do fine," said Mustang with a snap.

Ed turned away from the sight. He couldn't let the bastard know that he liked it when he did alchemy—that went against everything he believed—and he didn't want to give Mustang ammo to use against him. Well, if the bastard cared to look he was going to show him that he could be flashy too. Crouching down next to the cutting board, Ed picked up the knife lying there and flipped it into the air, neatly snatching it as it fell towards his left hand.

Ed shot a glance over at the fire pit, but Mustang didn't see because he was still messing around with the fire. It wasn't like he wanted the bastard to see it anyway.

Pulling a fat tomato out of a bowl, Ed placed it on the cutting board. He was aware that Mustang moved around to the other side of the blanket and began to cut an onion. Ed watched secretly at how Mustang held the onion, how he made the knife bite through the layers, making nicely formed slices. When Ed forced the knife through the soft flesh of his tomato, he crushed it.

"Like this?" asked Ed dubiously, showing his efforts to the man across from him. Mustang looked up at him, then down at his cutting board, humming in consideration.

Mustang got up from his position. Ed followed with his eyes, wondering what the man was doing now. The colonel came around behind him, crouching down...and then Mustang's hands covered his own. Ed's brain shorted out, fizzling in his skull and his eyes went wide as he looked down at those pale hands over top of his darker tanned one and his metal hand. The contrast made him blush heavily for some reason. His face felt so hot he was sure he looked very much like this tomato in front of him.

"Tomatoes are softer and more fragile then onions, so you have to be more gentle with them. You have to coax them to do what you want. Like this," said Mustang, his breath whispering past his ear. The timber of Mustang's voice was very, _very_ different up close. Mustang guided his numb hands; one to hold the tomato, the other to slice through the flesh making a nicely formed, round disc. "If you force it, then it will fall apart, but if you are easy with it, then it will do exactly what you want it to. See?"

Ed held very still as Mustang showed him this. One move in any direction may cause him to accidentally touch the bastard and he couldn't have that. "Y-yeah..." squeaked Ed. "Ah—okay." He hoped that was good enough for the bastard and would leave him alone now. He couldn't take much more of this before he started to do some of those 'stupid' things he was known for.

"Good," said Mustang, finally releasing his hands and standing. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Mustang resume his seat opposite him and continue to cut the onion he had abandoned. But Ed was still looking down at his hands. They were shaking slightly. "How's your research coming along?" asked Mustang as if what he had just done was normal.

Dropping the knife with a clatter from his nerveless fingers, Ed stood from the grass, turning towards the house. It was his intention to leave _right now_ and seriously kick Mustang's ass next time he saw him at work, but then Al's casual remark about him not coming back too soon rang in his ears. It would have sounded casual to anyone else, but since he knew what Al was capable of, it was more in the realm of a threat. That meant he had to stay here for a while longer, and that meant he had to talk to the bastard.

"Ah...yeah...it's good...I guess..." Ed mumbled. He had to stop himself from saying anymore because he sounded like an idiot! "Dammit," he cursed under his breath, his fists clenching. There was nothing for it. He needed to move and there was no one he could fight against at the moment, unless you counted the bastard.

Raising his hands to cross in front of his face, Ed brought them down in a tight circle to meet in front of his groin; one hand open to hold the other; a fist. With a shift of his weight, Ed began to move through one of the few patterns teacher had taught him, hoping it would do to ease his emotions for the time being. He got halfway through before he even thought that Mustang might be watching him do all this, so as soon as he finished his current movement, he took a deep breath and hurried back to his seat in the grass, certain that Mustang had watched him.

"So, ah, Al said I'm not allowed to come home. But you're kinda making me tense...just so you know," said Ed. He just hated that he had to admit that but he wanted Mustang to know that he was making him feel cornered. When he felt like that, he usually started hitting things.

The wind shifted slightly, bringing with it the smell of the burgers and corn cobs cooking over the flame. Mustang looked up at him and smirked. "That really help calm you down?"

"What? That?" asked Ed, pointing over his shoulder at the grass behind him, giving Mustang a quick glance. "Ah, yea—that's like..." Ed paused. He was going to explain it, but then he wasn't really sure if Mustang would understand just how much he needed to be able to push his body sometimes. The exercise helped him, especially now in this high stress environment. "Yeah, it does," finished Ed. He didn't want to open up to the bastard.

"Hm..." hummed Roy, slicing off a disc of tomato. Ed watched him pick up a misshapen chunk and pop it in his mouth. He didn't like that look on Mustang's face. Like he was sorting something out...

--

There was a brief respite from the pain, as Pinako switched tools, allowing Ed the chance to gather himself for the next round. Sweat coated his body, plastering his hair to his face and neck. His stomach and left shoulder added their own notes of agony to the torment he was suffering.

Ed blinked his eyes, squeezing out the sweat that dripped from his eyebrow. Breathing deep to calm his body and prepare himself for the next stage of the operation, Ed tried to get his mind away from those memories. But they were popping up in his mind like grasshoppers. Al had encouraged him to hang out with Roy in the beginning when Roy had started to plant all those weird ideas in his mind about two men together.

Just look at where it got him...

"Here we go," said Pinako, the only warning she was going to give. Ed had enough time to turn towards her to see the scalpel being inserted deep into his shoulder. For a few tense moments where nothing happened and then he felt the cold blade bite his flesh.

--

"Maybe you should show me how to do some of that. I'm always looking for new ways to help calm me down when I'm uptight," said Mustang.

Ed couldn't believe what he was hearing! Mustang wanted to _learn_ how to fight! Frowning deeply at the man seated across from him, Ed sized up his commander, wondering just how useful he would be in a real fight and couldn't get past the image of him being utterly useless. There was no way that Mustang would be any good. When they had that battle assessment, Mustang had been good at keeping him away, but as soon as Ed had gotten close he had froze. He had always felt a bit resentful that the match had ended so soon... If Mustang wanted to learn how to fight, Ed would be the one teaching him...

A slow, smirk slid across his face. Oh, this was perfect! He could teach Mustang how to fight, and beat him up without fear of reprisal, since he could claim that it was all part of the lesson! Sweet! "I don't know, you might not be able to handle it," said Ed, hoping he didn't sound too eager to agree to this. "Sitting behind a desk all day long, it looks like you're a bit..." Ed grinned wide. "Soft?" he finished, making it into a question knowing that he was right.

Mustang chuckled at him and went to turn the hamburgers and cobs over. "Perhaps I'm not as young and fit as you, but I have a lot more stamina then you might believe," said Mustang, looking over his shoulder to smirk at him in return.

Ed had a sneaking suspicion that there was a double meaning in there somewhere, but couldn't quite work out what Mustang was alluding to. "Oh? I've never seen it—this stamina you think you have," said Ed to cover his confusion.

That seemed to make Mustang happy, for he grinned even wider. "Well, you know, they say that anyone can learn under the right teacher, but if you don't think you're up for the job..."

"The fuck I ain't!" exclaimed Ed, thoroughly insulted. He could be a really good teacher! He knew, because he'd taught a few people in his travels on any number of things. "I can teach you! I just don't know if you're a good student," said Ed, glaring up at Mustang.

There was a twinkle in Mustang's eyes as he looked over at him with a pleased sort of smug grin on his face. "I guess the only way to know is for you to give it a shot."

Ed snorted at Mustang. "Don't look so smug, bastard. You've yet to see my teaching style! You might sing a different tune after I'm through with you—and when's supper? I'm starving here!" He was rewarded with seeing the bastard's grin slide off his face before he turned back to the fire pit to check on the food. Serves him right for thinking he was going to be easy on the bastard just because he was his boss. As if! Mustang was giving him the chance at a bit of payback, how could he assume that he wouldn't take it?

"How well do you like your hamburgers?" wondered Mustang.

Ed looked up from the blanket at the tone of foreboding in Mustang's voice and laughed. "I don't care. And I'm holding you to your lesson," said Ed. Mustang was only trying to get out of work now that he'd agreed to learning from him. Pussy! Leaning across the blanket, Ed picked out a slice of pickle and popped it into his mouth, enjoying the crisp flavor.

"Will this lesson be before or after the hamburgers of doom?" wondered Mustang. He lowered the plate down so that Ed could see the contents.

Frowning at the plate, Ed poked the charred meat curiously. They didn't look all that bad. They were probably good on the inside. The corn cobs looked horrible, though. "They're still good," said Ed, giving voice to his thoughts. "Just put lots of other stuff on them if you're too 'soft'." Ed smirked over at Mustang. Actually, this wasn't so bad. Being able to learn all sorts of things about Mustang that he could tease him about later was almost worth the stress of hanging around the bastard.

Mustang smirked, mirroring Ed's. "I'm never soft with things that matter," he said. He looked down at the plate in his hand, scowling. Settling on the blanket across from him, Mustang took one of the buns and placed a hamburger on it. "And anyway, I can handle burnt food, I just don't enjoy it."

Ed picked out a hamburger for himself, picking out a few of the condiments that he wanted to add. He looked up at Mustang as he spoke to find him looking at him with a small smirk. "I only like having the best," said Mustang.

Slapping some lettuce on his burger, Ed said, "Translation: you're soft." Ed squirted a large gob of ketchup, then mustard over top of his burger.

--

"UHMM!" Ed slammed his head against the table, knocking it hard, but he didn't feel it. All he could feel was each sweep of the blade that sliced into his flesh, and then the swab soaking up his blood. Repeated again, and again. For eternity.

"Looks like we're ready to realign the receptor," murmured Pinako to Winry. Ed could just catch the meaning behind those words. "Go!"

It was beyond agony. It was as though his whole insides were being moved and pulled upwards. If it wasn't for the pain it would have been a very curious sensation. It pulled him up and up until it became too much. A human body could only endure pain for so long before the brain stepped in and took over. When that happened, Ed passed out, slumping back into the table.

--

"So, you're saying that you're not soft, which means you're used to burnt food..." said Mustang with a chuckle. He paused for a moment, grinning at Ed. "Don't you cook for yourself?" he wondered.

"Sometimes, but Al doesn't like me in the kitchen," said Ed, placing the top bun on his hamburger and smushing everything together. "He doesn't like burnt food either, but I'm used to it. I had to feed myself for six years after all." Ed was very happy that Al had taken up the cooking duties once he got his body back. Everything tasted better to Ed when Al cooked and it allowed Al to feel like he was contributing in someway. Lifting the hamburger, Ed took a large bite hungrily.

"Hm, so you're saying that Alphonse is soft too, because he doesn't like burnt food," said Mustang, very seriously to his plate. He then looked up at Ed. "Does he know you feel this way?" asked Mustang, a smile tugging at his lips.

Working the mouthful around, Ed swallowed before saying, "Oh, yeah! I tell him all the time, but he won't listen." Just thinking about Al being soft; it was as it should be. Al was meant to be soft, not hard and hollow in a metal suit. "He always beats me anyway." Al would always be one helluva fighter. That wouldn't change no matter what. "Besides, Al is allowed to be soft," said Ed pensively before taking another bite of his burger.

"Oh? And I'm not?" inquired Mustang, taking a bite of his own burger with a grimace.

Forcing down his mouthful in order to talk, Ed wiped his hand across his mouth to clean away the dribble of juice that escaped and said, "No, you're not. Al is kind and gentle, but you're a person that wants to get to the top, so you have to be hard. That's just the way it is." Opening his mouth wide, Ed pushed in the last bite of his burger.

As he reached for another burger, Mustang looked towards the house past his shoulder and spoke thoughtfully. "Perhaps... Though it does no good to reach the top if you can't understand those at the bottom... There's a time to be hard and a time to be soft." Looking up at Mustang, Ed met his considering gaze, forgetting about his second helping. "My master taught me that. It's an important concept when trying to work with flame alchemy." Mustang grinned at him while lifting up his hamburger. "With this it doesn't matter. Okay, I admit it. I hate having burnt food, so yes, I'm soft. I love good food and fine wine. I like having a nice apartment and being well dressed...and good other things. I guess that does make me soft in those areas, doesn't it?"

Ed blinked at Mustang. He was being treated normally...? No condensing comments, no short jokes. Just simple, albeit strange, conversation. He didn't get it. What was Mustang trying to prove? He always viewed moments like these with suspicion...and they were happening more often, much to his chagrin. He just didn't know what Mustang was trying to prove. "You're hard to read, you know," confessed Ed.

Mustang smiled at him. "Do you really think so?" he asked.

"Yeah," said Ed with a press of his lips. Ed frowned while he chewed on his bottom lip. Maybe all those things that Mustang had been filling his head with for so long were starting to make sense. Could Mustang really like him like that? Even though he was a guy? No—Ed shook his head. "So! I don't think you're going to finish that," said Ed, pointing to Mustang's plate. "How about I show you some 'good' fighting moves?"

Putting his plate aside, Mustang said, "If you really think you can teach me," as he stood.

"I can teach you, it's just a question of if you can learn. So, I assume you know some basics, like how to punch and stuff?" wondered Ed as he also rose from the ground.

"Maybe," said Mustang. Ed looked over at the man to see his arms folded across his chest and he seemed to be embarrassed. "It depends on what you mean by 'punching and stuff'. If you're asking if I was trained in hand-to-hand combat, then the answer is probably no. I learned how to handle a gun in basic training and as an alchemist I fight long range. I never actually bothered with learning 'proper' hand-to-hand fighting skills."

"Well that makes it a bit harder," said Ed with an annoyed sigh as he walked back toward the house and a clean expanse on the grass. "Alright, come here and copy me." Ed took up his usual fighting stance, but made it a little more upright since Mustang wasn't used to being down close to the ground like he was. He felt a small thrill when Mustang followed his order, matching his stance.

Critically eying Mustang's stance, Ed came up along side of him and with his feet, kicked Mustang's legs further apart. He took up a position beside his commander. "Okay, front hand jab," said Ed, quickly snapping out his front hand. "Rear hand jab, or reverse punch." He pivoted forward and punched with the rear hand.

Mustang watched this blandly. "Can you do that again? Perhaps a little more slowly?" he asked. Ed's jaw dropped open as he looked at Mustang incredulously. How could what he just did be hard?

"Like this, dammit Roy, pay attention for once," growled Ed, grabbing a hold of Mustang's front hand to make him jab. "And the same for the back hand, okay?" asked Ed, once again showing Mustang how to punch.

Out of the corner of his vision, Ed could see Mustang giving him a strange, thoughtful look, before he did as he was told and punched the air. Confused as to why Mustang was looking at him like that, he focused on Mustang's form. It was better then he would have thought Mustang was capable of. There might be hope yet.

Mustang dropped his hands back down to his side. "You know, maybe you're right. Maybe this type of fighting isn't for me," he said.

"What? You're quitting already? You're such a slacker!" accused Ed, rounding on Mustang with an unhappy glare.

With a nod, Mustang said, "I hear that from Hawkeye all the time." He shrugged. "I _can_ do some close range fighting, but it's not like this. More wrestling and eh...well." Mustang paused, looking hesitant. "Just out and out pelting on the other guy...but that was when I was younger. Back when I lived...well, not here."

"Oh? Are you any good?" asked Ed, giving Mustang the once over. Maybe he could be a good wrestler. He was wiry looking. Might be helpful to get out of locks and such.

"Sure thing. Me and the guys once got arrested for...ah, yes. I used to be, but I haven't wrestled or fought like that since Maes and I... Not for a while," finished Mustang, clearing his throat.

Ed frowned up at Mustang. Arrested...? Mustang? Ed blinked at the thought of Mustang behind bars. "Well...I could see if you can still wrestle. I don't know any formal rules for it, like the sport, but for self-defense...I could make you eat dirt," said Ed smugly. He immediately turned and dropped into his usual low fighting stance, waiting on Mustang to do the same.

Mustang considered him. "Why don't we get the food cleaned up first, and do this inside..." suggested Mustang, then he grinned. Ed abandoned his stance. "Wrestling isn't the most dignified for someone my age and I'd rather not do it where my neighbors can see."

Ed pressed his lips at Mustang's retreating back as he knelt in front of the fire, throwing dirt on it. "You're really going to fight me? You're not looking for a way out?" asked Ed.

"Of course not. I'm looking forward to this. I haven't wrestled in years." Mustang looked over his shoulder at him. "Though, I have to warn you, I'm terrible at holding back. Back when Ma...Hughes was dating Gracia, he and I were wrestling and I broke his arm. That was the last time I wrestled and I'll tell you what, I got a scolding from her like you wouldn't believe," said Mustang with a laugh.

Whoa... Mustang was really laughing...like, not forced or an act... He couldn't believe what was happening. Sure, Mustang had been getting 'close' to him, or trying to anyway, but this was the first time that he'd actually seen any kind of unguarded emotions from the man.

"Though Hughes got one too," continued Mustang. "That woman is scary sometimes... Will you grab those?" asked Mustang, pointing to the items on the blanket. Without waiting for his assent, Mustang resumed dousing the fire.

"No shit! You broke his arm for real?" asked Ed, hurrying to clean up the mess. "That's funny!" said Ed with a laugh. Suddenly, it didn't seem so bad that he was with Mustang, hanging out. If it was going to be like this, then why the hell not? "Don't worry about holding back, when I get excited, I tend to forget about my arm and leg, so I'm sure I'll deserve it. You know, I don't think I've ever seen Gracia mad. What was that like?" wondered Ed, laughing once more at the thought of Mustang getting ragged out by Gracia.

Gathering up his own load, Mustang began to head for the house. "It was half like looking into the pits of hell, and half like being scolded by my own mother," he admitted with a chuckle. Ed snickered, quickly piling up items to carry into the house. "By that time, Hughes had already gotten used to her cooking and so I think he had the worse of it since she didn't make anything for him for a week. That was what really made him swear off wrestling with me, not the broken arm."

--

"Ed, open your eyes. Ed...?" Winry's voice called to him from a great distance.

Ed tried to turn his head towards the voice and tried to open his eyes, but his neck didn't move, and his eyelids were heavy. Every inch of his body was thrumming with sensations. He wished he could tell them to give him something to make it go away, but even his mouth wasn't listening to him right now. Nothing was. A faint sigh whispered past his chapped lips.

"Is he alright?" Al's voice. He was near, on the other side of him.

"He's fine. It took a lot out of him though."

There was a comfortable silence for a few moments where the only sounds were his own softly panting breathing and the sound of footsteps. He could almost imagine Winry bustling around the work room, cleaning up after the procedure. And Al. Al would be standing over him, or maybe sitting next to him just like the first time he'd gotten Auto-mail.

--

Picking up the last bowl of onions, Ed hurried after Mustang. "You didn't eat that much, are you still hungry?" wondered Ed, noticing that there was still a lot of untouched food here. "Look, there's still a bit of burger-charcoal left."

"I'm fine. I'll order take out later tonight or eat something that's around here if I get hungry," said Mustang wryly.

"Oh, 'kay. So, where will we wrestle? Do you have room?" wondered Ed as they crossed the small deck and into the house.

Mustang put his armful down on the kitchen counter and pulled off his apron, laying it down beside the plates. "I have the most open space in the living room. It should work, though we might not have as much room as we'd like."

Placing his stuff next to Mustang's, Ed looked up at him. "Okay, whatever," he said with a glint in his eye. "Let's do this! It's been a long time that I wanted to pound you for always teasing me, now I'll get my chance." Ed smiled at Mustang in anticipation. Mustang simply headed for the front room, waving Ed to follow.

Ed trailed behind, smiling enthusiastically. This was going to be so awesome! Finally, he would be showing Mustang who the victory should have gone to on the day of the battle assessment; a clear win for _him_. Without another word, Ed lunged at Roy's unsuspecting back. Something must have given him away, for suddenly Mustang was ducking to the side. He reached out and pushed on Ed's shoulders, sending him further into the room.

As he stumbled past Mustang, Ed reached out and caught his right hand in the fabric of Mustang's shirt; letting Mustang's body act as his break. Before he could come to a complete stop, Mustang gripped the hand in his shirt front, another on his far shoulder. Ed knew what he was going to try, and thought he'd be 'kind' enough to let Mustang think he could trip him as easily as this.

Mustang took him down; Ed pulled his chin down to his chest and splayed his arms and legs as best he could to minimize the shock of the fall. Before Mustang could land on him, or pin him down, Ed worked his feet up against Mustang's belly, fully intending to give as well as he had gotten.

"Too slow, old man!" taunted Ed, sure in his imminent victory. But Mustang surprised him by rolling to the side, pinning one leg under his weight. Mustang elbowed his other leg, trying to force it open, in doing so, he let Ed's trapped leg go. Not wanting to get pinned, Ed used his newly freed leg to push on Mustang's thigh so that he slid across the floor. He rolled to the side, placing one leg on the floor, about to rise for his second attack.

Suddenly, Mustang lunged forward, knocking into Ed and surprising him with the sudden weight. A scuffle broke out as Ed tried to keep his hands out of Mustang's grasp. He twisted this way and that, Mustang always following him. Then, somehow, Ed found himself pinned under Mustang's greater weight, with his hands pressed firmly into the floor above his head. Before he could think about getting his hands free, Mustang pinned his legs as well, hooking his feet over top of Ed's thighs.

Ed jerked in Mustang's hold futilely until he realized, for the moment at least, that he was stuck. Glaring up at the man hovering over him, Ed growled, "This doesn't mean anything! I can still beat you!" To prove it, Ed continued to work at getting his hands free. Mustang panted heavily while watching him for above. Ed glared at the bizarre look he was getting. What the fuck! Why wasn't he fighting anymore?

"I think you already may have..." murmured Mustang quietly. Suddenly Mustang leaned forward, still holding onto him tightly. Ed's eyes went wide as Mustang's lips covered his.

Ed yanked his head away in shock, knocking it hard against the floor in the process. If his mind hadn't frozen at the sheer insanity of the moment, he could only assume that his head would have really hurt. As it was, he hardly felt it. Mustang pulled back to stare at him. Ed saw his throat work nervously adding to the sense of surrealism.

"I'm sorry..." whispered Mustang.

Ed blinked in ever increasing shock to hear him apologize. "What was that?" wondered Ed breathlessly, panting slightly from the fight. There was an uncomfortable feeling working its way around his stomach as he looked up into Mustang's face. That dark hair was hanging down towards his face, leaving Ed a very close up view of Mustang's face, still much too close to his own.

"That was..." began Mustang, still breathing heavily. "That was me being soft again... I'm sorry... You probably didn't like that..."

"I, ah..." Ed faltered. Like it? His eyes were immediately drawn to Mustang's lips, still disconcertingly close to his own, then forced himself to look away. "I, ah...whoa." Was this really happening? A small breathless laugh managed it squeak its way past his lips. "Hard to say really..."

Silence hung between them. Ed kept shooting furtive glances Mustang's way. There was a little knot of anticipation, mixing with anxiety, swimming around in his stomach. It made it hard to know if he should demand that Mustang get the hell off of him, or find out if he really _did_ like that or not. Through it all, Mustang just stared at him.

"Do you want me to do it again so that you can decide?" said Mustang softly.

His attention was immediately drawn back up to Mustang's face. The question, however, caused him to blush furiously at having been caught thinking that very thing. Ed suffered under Mustang's scrutiny for a moment more. Then slowly, the colonel leaned down, pressing their lips together for the second time.

This time, Ed felt how soft Mustang's lips were as they moved over his. All other points where their bodies might be touching were forgotten as the feel of those lips outweighed all others. Lust was suddenly something very prominent in Ed's thoughts. It settled down in his groin, twitching his penis to life. It caused him to inhale through his nose, and then he took the plunge and began kissing Mustang back.

Goosebumps erupted down his arm, travelled down his back and leg as Mustang slowly ran his hand along the sensitive underside of his arm. To his surprise he felt the other hand join the first as both hands wove into his hair at the back of his neck. Then, the most shocking thing happened, Mustang licked his tongue across his lips. It was like pure thrill and desire was poured all over him.

Ed gasped at the sensation and let his eyes close. Suddenly, Mustang's tongue was_ inside_ his mouth, moving wetly along his tongue, his teeth, and the roof of his mouth. Those fingers in his hair pressed and pulled him closer. Moaning against the tongue in his mouth, he began to push back with _his_ tongue and the sensation that resulted arced though him more powerfully then before.

Their tongues slid against each other for a moment more, then Mustang pulled away, immediately placing hot kisses along the side of his neck. Each kiss was accompanied with a quick pinching of the skin between firm lips. As Mustang's lips travelled lower, so too did his hands. Ed lost track of what those hands were doing until they touched his waist.

--

"Brother? Do you want anything? Some water?"

Swallowing several times, Ed struggled to make his mouth move to form words. "Roy..." croaked Ed. Dark eyes and a smug grin was all that he wanted now.

"I'm sorry, brother. I can't bring you Roy. He's still in Central." A dry, warm hand brushed over his forehead to be replaced with a cool wet cloth. Ed sighed. His brother's hand continued to stoke over his hair, sending him back to sleep.

--

"Ah..." gasped Ed, surprised. Flashing through his head at super speed was all the rumors and stories about Mustang and his conquests. A shuddered rippled its way down his body from the feel of those expert lips on his neck. "Ah, Roy..." He didn't want to be just another notch on Mustang's belt. "I, well, I've never... Oh, shit..." The words wouldn't come out.

Those hands at his waist didn't pause one bit. They dragged his shirt up around his chest and Mustang dipped his head down, suddenly licking his nipple. Ed's eyes rolled into his head. It felt so good! "I'll teach you..." murmured Mustang, switching to his other nipple. "Say my name again, Ed..." he said, placing kisses along Ed's stomach, his hands ghosting down his sides.

"No, I won't!" said Ed, realizing that he must have said Mustang's first name. He shuddered at how his body was responding under his touch. "What are you doing to me?" wondered Ed breathlessly. Mustang's lips were seemingly everywhere at once. Unconsciously, Ed's right hand found its way to the back of Mustang's head to encourage more of those touches.

Mustang stopped, breathing hard against his stomach. The silence lasted for a few moments before Mustang said reluctantly, "I can stop... If you don't like it, then just tell me and I'll stop..."

The abrupt stop of those hands, the way Mustang's breath panted against his stomach; Ed opened his eyes, lifted his head to look down his chest. Mustang was looking intently at him. He'd never really paid much attention to just how dark those eyes were before, but now they looked like unfathomable depths. "It-it's not that, but...you..." said Ed, inhaling a large breath to pull him back from the edge a little bit. "You see all those women..." He felt his face heat up even more to say those things aloud.

With a shake of his head, Mustang murmured, "I've never really seen any of them seriously... But, you... I've never wanted any of them like I want you..." Mustang gracefully moved up his body until they were face to face. With a gentle caress, Mustang ran his fingers down the side of his face. "You make me feel alive... I enjoy being with you..." said Mustang faintly. "Don't turn me away..."

Whoa, Mustang was serious about this... He wanted him? That revelation caused his insides to squeeze tight. Could all those things that Mustang had been telling him about for so long be true? Mustang really did like him? Ed let his hand move down Mustang's back. This was really happening.

If this was going to happen, he wasn't just going to let Mustang have his way, he was going to do his own investigation. Suddenly, Ed shifted his weight, flipping Mustang over onto his back. Now, Ed was the one hovering over Mustang. His braid slid over his shoulder, dangling in the space between them. Mustang met his searching gaze quietly; waiting.

Encouraged that he wasn't going to be told to stop, Ed let his gaze wander over the man between his legs; more fully then he ever did before. His eyes traced over his brow, down the cheek, following the corded muscles in the neck. Would it feel as good for Mustang, if _he_ kissed his neck? His attention went lower, and lower still, because he felt a hardness pressing into his inner thigh.

He had always been accustomed to power. He was comfortable using it both for his own advantage and for others...but to know that he had the power to affect someone—Roy Mustang—like this...!

Dragging his eyes upward, Ed once more considered the man under him. So...this could be his...? Reaching out with his left hand, he very lightly trailed the tips of his fingers along the cheekbone. He could feel Roy's—it was hard to think of Mustang as anything other then Mustang—dark eyes watching him intently. Feeling self conscious under that gaze, Ed licked his lips as he turned his attention to Mustang's hair. His hand followed, holding a lock of hair between his fingers. It was so soft, he mused.

His hand next traced the side of Mustang's face, to his jaw then down to his neck. He followed the muscles down to that small hallow—the suprasternal notch—and was rewarded with quickened breathing. It was fascinating that by his touch alone, he was able to affect someone. Faintly, he felt Mustang touch his face. He began to wonder what would happen if he touched Mustang in other places as well, and pushed at the collar of Mustang's shirt with a frown. He wouldn't be getting too far with that in the way.

"What's wrong?" wondered Mustang softly.

He blinked, breaking his focus and looked up at Mustang. Moistening his lips, he marshaled his courage, and softly commanded, "Take it off." He flicked the collar of the t-shirt in illustration.

Mustang propped himself up on one elbow, hooking the back of his shirt with his other hand and pulled. As one arm was freed, he switched elbows, and pulled the shirt free. Throwing the shirt away, Mustang settled back on the floor, his gaze intent on him.

Examining the expanse of flesh revealed to him, Ed couldn't help but notice that Mustang couldn't be as lazy as everyone said. Though pale, there was definite muscle tone here, more then he would have credited Mustang for. Beginning at the neck where he left off, Ed ghosted his hand along the collar bone on Mustang's right, then down along the outside of his pectoral.

The light brown nipple, surrounded with a few black hairs drew his attention. He brushed over the erect nipple, watching intently to catch Mustang's reaction. With a loud breath, Mustang closed his eyes leaving only slits. "What did you feel?" asked Ed quietly. He always asked this question of Al, wanting to hear how he processed the new sensitizations of his body. Al had eagerly explained how he reacted to each touch, shift and press of everything around him.

Opening his eyes again, Mustang considered the question. "I... Pleasure... It felt good..." He smiled slightly. "I don't know if I can explain. I've never been asked that before..."

Ah, he'd forgotten that Mustang didn't know how to play that game. "If you do it..." wondered Ed, reaching for Mustang's hand, willing to show him. Manipulating his hand into a point, Ed used Mustang's finger to touch the man's nipple.

"It's not the same... It's better if it's you..."

Better with him, eh? He could almost say that he liked the sound of that. Relinquishing his hold of Mustang's hand, Ed leaned forward. Hovering over Mustang's face, Ed was suddenly presented with the fact that he really had no idea what to do in this situation. Intellectually he knew, but in practice... "I don't know what to do," admitted Ed faintly. Mustang remained still. "I don't know what to do now. I've never...don't be dumb now, bastard!" growled Ed from the back of his throat.

With a light touch on his arm, Mustang asked, "Do you want me to show you, or tell you?"

"Yes!" said Ed. Damn the man for making him admit to his ignorance.

That earned a light chuckle. "That was an 'either-or' question," said Mustang as he touched Ed's ass. Ed shifted slightly, unsure if he was really ready for anal sex or not. "Let's just take it one step at a time. There's so much to learn and you can't learn it all at once... Why don't you just let me show you a few things this time and next time you can try some of it on me..."

"Okay, show me."

Grinning up at him, Mustang suddenly flipped them back over, putting Ed on the bottom once again. Now he had to suffer Mustang's inspection while having his shirt pushed back up around his armpits. Then Mustang leaned forward to wrap his mouth around Ed's nipple.

Damn, he didn't know that the nipple was a place that would feel this good. Ed squeezed his eyes shut as Mustang's tongue moved over the nub of his nipple. It felt so _good_. He wove his left hand into the hair at the back of Mustang's head, and dimly noted the tug at his belt. Mustang moved to the other nipple, giving a final tug at his belt. The feel of his zipper being pulled down made him grit his teeth and thrust his hips into the air seeking relief.

"Uh, Roy...damn..." panted Ed. This was _so_ much better then what he was able to do to himself. The sensations were ten times more potent then he could ever believe! His pants were tugged down to his knees, and Ed felt his first stab of fear. Would Mustang just jump right in and...and... And oh hell, he could see his erection through his underwear, too. The bastard had better not say anything!

Mustang's released his nipple with a small pop and began to press light kisses down his abdomen. He kept going lower and lower. His momentary fear flew away. The lower Mustang went the more it made Ed think about stories he'd heard about women 'sucking' men off. That one image had been good for many fantasies. Mustang stopped at the top of his underwear. Both of his thumbs hooked over the elastic and pulled down.

And now, Ed was bared for the most notorious womanizer to see in all his glory and all Ed could think of was, was Mustang going to 'suck him off'? He lifted his head from the floor, totally drawn in. His heart thudded hard in his chest.

Shifting slightly, Mustang reached out a hand, barely touching him. He ran his fingertips from base to tip with that feather light touch. "Do you like that?" asked Mustang in his damn sexy voice, watching him.

"Uhh!" The sensations washed over him so hard that his eyes just couldn't seem to stay open any longer. He felt like his dick was on fire. He needed more of those touches. He was going to burst soon! His hips lifted from the floor, silently begging for more as his head fell back. Then suddenly there was a hot wetness sweeping up the underside of his cock. "Ahhh fuuckkk!" exclaimed Ed, letting his body fall back to the floor. He fisted his hands ineffectually off to the sides of his body, unsure of what to do with them.

Next, Mustang blew along his cock. The trail of saliva already left there mixed with the breath—he wouldn't last long under these new sensations. He was licked again and then—oh fuck! Mustang put him in his mouth! Hot and wet and oh, so fucking _good_! He was off the floor almost instantaneously, leaning over Mustang's head, and holding onto the man's shoulders for balance.

Everything was pulled down to his cock. There was only his cock. His eyes rolled cross-eyed when Mustang did some reverse friction with his hand still while sucking on him. That mouth would never be the same to him now!

"S-shit...stop...or..." panted Ed, his right hand weaving into Mustang's hair. He didn't listen because he only increased his actions, bring him even closer. One last time, he could only hold out for so long. Ed pushed at Roy, trying to get him off of him. "Stop! I'm g-gonna..." And that was all he could say. He came. Hard! It was the best, most awesome feeling. Ever!

He flopped back on the floor, completely spent and—fuck! He felt good! He noted Mustang leaving him for a moment before returning to lie beside him on the floor, watching him. As his euphoria vanished he realized that Mustang was _watching him_. He looked up into Mustang's face. The blush quickly spread all over his face, making him feel hot. He tore his gaze away. What had he done? Mustang had just...sucked him...

"I enjoyed that... did you?" said Mustang in that very fine voice, his hand touching his cheek.

He couldn't do it. He couldn't look at Mustang anymore! Ever! But...he had liked that very, very, _very_ much! "Yeah..." Then Ed remembered that very hard erection pressing into his thigh. Mustang couldn't possibly want him to try that... Could he? It seemed way too gross. Even if _he_ had enjoyed it, he didn't think he could actually put his mouth...down there. "What, ah...about you," wondered Ed faintly. There was probably something he could do that didn't involve sucking.

It was at that moment that they were both surprised by the sudden and loud grumble coming from Mustang's stomach. Shocked, Ed looked over at Mustang, his embarrassment forgotten, and chuckled.

Mustang grumbled in the back of his throat, looking quite taken aback. "Perhaps I should order something to be delivered here..." He grinned at him then. "Then maybe later we can do more... wrestling?" Mustang got to his feet, heading to the stairs Ed had seen on his way in. Ed pulled his pants and underwear back into place. "Because I have to say, this is the most enjoyable wrestling I've ever done," called Roy from upstairs.

--

When Ed next woke, it was in his bed in the room that he normally shared with Al whenever he stayed over. The sun was shining brightly though the frost covered windows to land on the floor while soft piano music drifted throughout the house. Through silted eyes, Ed ran his gaze across the room. He was alone for the moment.

The ache of fever had a firm grip on his body making him feel incredibly heavy. With a cautious sigh, Ed let his eyes close. He could still feel the aftereffects of the surgery and the more distant ache of his stomach and other shoulder. His leg wound, though shallow, also complained. He gave a fleeting thought to the state of his arm before he fell back into a healing sleep.

As soon as he was able, he'd asked his brother to help him call Roy...

--To Be Continued--

Don't forget to check for ZaKai's version!


	11. Chapter 11

**Disclaimer**: It owns me, not the other way around.

All of Roy's dialogue belongs to ZaKai, the rest is mine.

Our schedules still don't meet up, so I'll be posting my half first. ZaKai's to follow shortly ;D

**Chapter 11**

An hour after he first awoke, Edward opened his eyes to find Winry sitting in a chair drawn close to his bed. He recognized his arm lying in her lap as she worked intently. A small, soft smile came unbidden to his face as he silently watched her work.

Throughout his life, Winry had been there. Annoying at times and down right brutal with a wrench, she was still a constant in his life. She was forever concerned about his well being in the most volatile way, but for all the terrorizing and yelling she held a special place in his heart.

He'd never, ever, even on his death bed, tell her that.

The moments passed without disruption. Winry working with complete concentration on her task and him languidly watching her sure hands move. It wasn't until she dropped a screw to bounce on the floor, did she notice that he was awake.

"Edward? How long have you been awake?" she wondered.

He could only shift his head slightly and blink tiredly in answer. His whole body felt abused and achy.

"Hm, are you in pain?" she wondered. Winry lifted his auto-mail out of her lap and placed it on the bedside table, carefully making sure that it wouldn't crash to the floor before she turned her attention to him.

Ed thought about that. He felt a lot of things right now, but was it pain per se? Might not be right now, but he could tell that this tingly, floating feeling wouldn't last forever, so he tilted his head slightly in affirmative.

"Okay, I'll go get something for you. We're reducing your dose, though. You'll have a few days to rest up, and then we'll attach your arm."

While Winry spoke, his eyes closed, weary from his ordeal. He barely heard the door open to his room and then he knew no more.

* * *

They had him up and on his feet the next day despite his grumpy, scratchy-voiced complaining. He made one circuit around his bedroom, down the hall to the washroom, where he had a rest using the toilet and then back to bed. That little bit of effort left him winded and exhausted to the point that he hit the pillow in a deep sleep. Four hours later, he was shaken awake and made to walk the same route. Before he was allowed to fall asleep again, he was given a lightly spiced beef broth and a glass of orange juice.

For the rest of the day and into the next he was made to get out of bed, stiff and sore, to walk and move. It was hell. But Ed knew that it was for his benefit, so he tried really hard to curb his forked tongue when all it wanted to do was hiss and flicker at those around him. He kept his mouth shut, walked, ate, and slept as the evil women he called family dictated. By the end of the third day, his walk didn't cause him to fall into a sleep almost immediately. He counted it as progress.

Through it all, his interrupted sleep and forced marching, he thought about Roy. Their first time together kept playing itself out in his minds eye. He began to wonder what Roy would do once he got his letter. Would he write back or just ignore him? With the way things had been going between them he wasn't sure anymore what Roy would do.

And he really wanted to call, even though he was groggery all the time, but he didn't know what Roy might do then. The fact that he'd even agreed to let Ed call was a privilege he wasn't willing to risk. When—if he heard from Roy; that would be the sign that he could ring him up. Until then however, he had walking, sleeping, eating and more walking to deal with.

Five days after his corrective surgery, Ed got his arm back. It felt even worse then the procedure to fix the port. His nerves burned along his entire body as he re-accustomed himself with the arm. Through the debilitating pain he wondered what had happened to his letter and if Roy had gotten it yet. Would Roy answer him? And Al wouldn't let him forget it, either.

"I think you should just call him," said Al. Ed growled low in his throat. "I mean, you need to work on your communication at some point, why not now?"

"'Cause…I'm…not…fuck off," panted Ed through gritted teeth. Why did Al have to start this _now_ of all times? He had been patient. He held his tongue. Why did Al have to jump on his literary frayed nerves at a time like this? While he was stuck in bed and hurting over having his arm back, Al had to badger him with this now? If ever his New Year's resolution was tested… He was irritable and in pain, Al knew that!

"Al…leave me alone," said Ed, barely getting the words out. He turned his face into the pillow already soaked through with sweat; turning away from his brother.

"Roy should have gotten your letter by now—"

"Seriously, Al…leave me alone," pleaded Ed. He really didn't want to have to kill his brother after all the hard work he did to get his body back. He rolled his head back to look at Al sitting on the chair that was permanently drawn up to his bed.

"Alphonse, you know better," Pinako's stern reprimand came from the door to their room. Al reluctantly left his seat and made his way over to Pinako. The murmur of conversation washed over Ed in a buzz of sound and then they were gone. He could feel the approaching fever and dreaded it. He hated getting fevers. He hated being weak. He hated that he was missing Roy so much… He really did miss him so much…

* * *

The letter came late two days later. Being rural meant that the post arrived by carriage late in the evenings. Even racked with fever, Ed was being made to walk around the house. So it was while Ed—with Al at his left elbow for support—was heading into the kitchen that he saw the vivid green post carriage pull up to the house by two large Clydesdales.

Almost immediately, Ed's heart was in his throat. It was insane to hope that Roy had mailed him back, but he couldn't stop himself from wishing _so_ hard. Ed stopped where he was and watched through the window as an older man leapt to the ground nimbly. Winry, who was outside hosing down Den, looked up at the man's call.

Al looked at him curiously then out the window. "Here, sit in the chair," directed Al, herding him to the side.

"He didn't mail me, Al. I know he didn't," mumbled Ed as he shuffled to the chair and slowly eased himself down with a sigh. He pulled the fat, woolen sweater tight against his chest as a wave of shivers began again.

"I'll be right back," said Al as he left through the front door.

Ed leaned to the side, watching through the window as the three of them spoke. After a moment some post was placed into Al's hands. His heart thudded heavily in sick anticipation. Roy didn't mail him, he didn't. He was sure of it. Winry pointed out over the far hillside causing Al and the postman to look in that direction. He wondered what she could be telling them. Al then lifted his hand, the one containing the post and motioned in the same direction as his other hand snaked around Winry's waist.

His eyes were glued to the letters in Al's hand. He tried not to hope, to really hope, that in that small stack of post there might be one for him. Roy wouldn't write back. He wouldn't. Ed was sure of it. Roy had said so many things…but then, on the phone, it didn't sound like he wouldn't…but maybe since he had time to think about he didn't want to be with him.

Al and Winry waved the postman off, exchanged a quick kiss, then Winry went back to cleaning Den and Al started for the house. Ed felt sick to his stomach as he watched Al pick through the scant bits of mail. When Al stepped onto the deck, Ed could no longer see him. Within the next moment, the front door opened. Ed looked up at Al's face for any clue that Roy had mailed him, even though he _knew_ that Roy hadn't.

Pausing on the threshold, Al frowned at one letter held up close to his face as if he didn't trust the address on the front. Ed felt his hopes plummet. If there really had been mail from Roy, Al would be loud and happy and bouncing all over the place. Since he was doing none of that, he knew that he was only being foolish. He knew that Roy wouldn't mail him. It was stupid to get his hopes up like that.

"What is it?" asked Ed, hiding his disappointment. Al looked over at him, then back at the letter.

"It's from the military. Looks rather impressive… Maybe you didn't sign something," said Al as he crossed the front room, holding out the letter to him.

Ed took it in his hands and also studied the front of the envelope. The typed address stated that 'Major Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist' was the recipient of this letter and that 'Central Military Headquarters' was the sender. A slow stomach turn made another circuit through his tummy as he turned the envelope over and began to work the letter open. A single piece of paper was neatly folded up inside.

Pulling the page free, Ed placed the envelope in his lap and opened the letter. He was aware that Al moved behind him to read over his shoulder and shot a quick look up at him before turning his full attention to the official letterhead on the top of the page.

_Rockbell Automail_

_C/O: Major Edward Elric, Fullmetal Alchemist_

_Rizembool East_

_Central Military Headquarters_

_C/O: Roy Mustang, Flame Alchemist_

_Division 352_

_Central City_

Ed's brain momentarily fizzled out at the sight of Roy's name. Then he was thinking hard and fast. If Roy had mailed him like this, on official paper, then he must have changed his mind and didn't want to have him call or write anymore. He knew it might happen, but to actually see evidence of it was…hard.

Forcing himself to finish reading, Ed dropped his eyes to the body of the letter.

_Fullmetal –_

_I am glad to hear that you made it to Rizembool safely. Please don't worry about my well being. I'm fine. You should be worrying about resting and recovering. _

_Yes, your brother makes excellent coffee._

_When will your surgery be performed? Is there anything you need that the military can provide?_

_I will look forward to hearing from you by phone when you're recovered sufficiently enough. The military requests that you recover quickly so that you can return to your regular military duties._

– _Flame _

"Roy's pretty funny when he wants to be," said Al.

Ed blinked at the letter, frowned, and then looked up at Al leaning on the back of his chair. "What do you mean?" he asked. There was nothing within that letter that was funny. It was kinda disheartening. Roy was widening the gap between them to monumental proportions. How the hell did Al get 'funny' out of this?

"He's made it look all business-like so he could mail it to you without paying," said Al with a chuckle.

"What?" Ed looked back down at the letter, rereading it. He supposed that it didn't _necessarily_ sound like Roy was putting distance between them. And Roy did say that he wanted him to call in the last few lines. That couldn't be all bad. "Maybe…" conceded Ed, feeling ungracious towards Al since he figured out Roy faster then he did. And the bastard said Al's coffee really was good.

He'd have to talk to Al about learning how to make it like the bastard like it. There was no way he was going to let Roy remember Al's coffee if he could make something even better.

"Al. I want to call him," Ed suddenly said in to the silence. He glanced over his shoulder at his brother. "Can you make the phone go to my room?"

"Okay," said Al, a large smile on his pleased face. "Let's get you settled first and then I can get to work on the phone."

* * *

It was almost eight o'clock by the time Al finally got a dial tone in the phone next to his bedside table. While Al was working on the phone, Ed worked on his return letter to Roy. He didn't have fancy paper so he used lined paper that he found in his room. At the very bottom of the letter, Ed decided that what he'd say next would be encrypted with a simple letter substitution code, so he wrote the key at the top. Then proceeded to encrypt what he had to say next.

_Do you blame me for being blind and not seeing how stupid I've been? I've been watching Winry and Al. How come we could never talk without talking. I think that's because I suck._

After he finished, it just looked like a mess of letters, but he was sure that Roy would figure it out pretty easily. It wasn't like he chose a hard encryption code. Roy's letter lay next to him on top of the sheets. A slow smile spread across his face as he took the envelope Roy used and after folding his letter, placed it inside. He sealed the letter with alchemy and drew a line through his address, saying 'Return to Sender' in big letters.

The fever was making him tired and chilled again. All he wanted to do was go to sleep, but he couldn't until he talked to Roy first. As soon as Al cleaned up his mess, Ed chased Al out of the room with his eyes, the letter in his lap, and the phone on the bed. Immediately after the door closed, Ed lifted the receiver to his ear and began to dial Roy's number in Central.

As soon as he heard the ringing in his ear, Ed almost hung up. It wasn't that he didn't want to talk to Roy, because he did, it was because he was scared about how, or what he should or shouldn't say. He had given no thought to what he wanted to talk to Roy about. He even wondered if they would have _anything_ to talk about after all that had happened between them.

By the fourth ring, Ed thought that even though it wasn't that late, that maybe Roy was asleep. By the sixth ring he thought that perhaps Roy wasn't at home—that is, until Roy picked up and answered with a tired, _"Mustang."_

"Hey…" said Ed, wincing at how small and weak his voice sounded. "Were you sleeping?" Roy sounded about as wiped as he felt.

"_No, just getting home actually,"_ Roy said, perking up somewhat. _"How are you feeling?"_

"Like hell warmed over. How about you?" wondered Ed, trying to keep things nice and light. There were so many things he wanted to ask, so many things he wanted to talk about…but he was certain that Roy wouldn't appreciate any of it. In his mind eye he could see Roy smirking at him, or perhaps even looking up for a bit of fun between the sheets, making him smile.

"_Just another day in paradise,"_ said Roy sarcastically.

Ed snorted into the phone. Roy showed his odd sense of humor in strange ways sometimes, and this was one of them. "I got your letter—so cheap!" said Ed, smiling wider at the letter in his lap. He unfolded Roy's letter to glance over Roy's obsessively neat signature while over the phone, he could hear Roy settling on the bed with a little squeak that the mattress always did if you moved too quickly.

"_Well you know the State Alchemist motto, Ed: 'For the people.' I was just letting the military be of service." _

"Oh, was that what you were doing?" said Ed sarcastically, raising his eyebrow even though Roy couldn't see it. "So, did my array work or was it a bust?" wondered Ed. He was enjoying this phone call so far. As much as he didn't want to, he began to hope.

"_Bust,"_ said Roy. Ed nodded to himself. He figured as much. He was in a lot of pain when he'd thought up those arrays. _"Sorry,"_ added Roy, sounding for all the world like he wished they had. _"Did the surgery go well?"_

"Hm, oh well," said Ed with a sigh. It would have been neat if the array would have worked, but it didn't really bother him that it didn't. "The surgery was...not something I ever want to repeat. But, I got my arm back, but I can't really move it very well yet. Pinako says that's to be expected given all they had to do. It's up in the air—well, it'll take—" Ed stopped himself. Last time he tried to hide his problems, Roy had gotten mad at him. He wasn't planning on letting that happen ever again. "No, you know what, it's a bit fucked up actually. I'm not sure if it'll be the same...only time will tell."

"_I see,"_ said Roy. There was silence on the line for a long moment. Ed could almost feel the guilt that Roy must be feeling from here. He had to set the man straight— _"Well, they're very good mechanics. I'm sure you'll have a good chance at being in top shape soon."_

"You know, at the end, I've started to think about the beginning. About me, about you. I recognize more how much of a child I've been... How the fuck did you ever stand me? But, I do recognize something else, you feel guilty, even Al told me so. But I don't blame you, Roy, I really don't. So don't take this on yourself."

His attempt at banishing Roy's guilt was met with stillness. He couldn't even begin to figure out what might be going through Roy's head at the moment other then maybe denial that what he said had any weight. He knew how hard it was to listen to others when all you wanted to do was beat yourself up.

"Roy?" asked Ed, waiting to hear Roy's voice. Silence. "You still there?" he wondered, thinking that perhaps the line might have gotten cut, but he was sure he could hear Roy breathing. "Did I freak you out? What? Don't like when I say mature stuff?" Ed gently teased. "Bastard..." he mumbled fondly.

"_Ah... no... that's not it..."_ stammered Roy, sounding thoroughly out of his element.

"Then what? Was I wrong? Did I make an ass out of myself—not that that's anything new, or anything." Ed waited for several more moments.

"_I'm glad you don't blame me,"_ said Roy lowly.

"Why would you even think that I would?"

Roy sighed massively, his breath making the speaker in the phone buzz with noise. _"Because... I was driving. It was my fault we were arguing... I should have been paying more attention to the road. I should have tried harder to find someone to drive. I knew that I wasn't..."_

"Yeah..." agreed Ed, nodding his head slightly and staring through the dark window. He could recognize all the things that he used to do with regards to losing Al's body. The blame, the self hatred; the daily torture that would somehow make things right again. "I know about making mistakes and blaming yourself, but _you_ didn't _want_ the crash to happen, so you don't—can't—take that on yourself, you'll go crazy...like I almost did before you found me all those years ago... That changed my life you know..."

He couldn't begin to wonder what his life would have been like without Roy coming to Pinako's house the day after their 'accident'. Wherever he and Al would have ended up, Ed was sure that it wouldn't have been a good place to be.

"_You should know... it wasn't a selfless act,"_ Roy finally said, his voice tense and tight. _"I got a great mark on my record for finding such a talented alchemist. I'm happy that my selfishness could change your life, but you were the one that really got yourself into the military. You proved yourself. You could have done it all without me..."_

"Yeah, I know..." That is, if Ed would have even have thought about joining the military…he doubted that that would have occurred to him if Roy hadn't shown up. "But if you hadn't of come along...I would have become so depressed I'm sure I would have just given up."

Ed was suddenly interrupted by a large yawn that stretched his jaw to the breaking point and made his eyes water. That was it, he had reached his stopping point for today. Much too soon, but if he continued like this, he would be sure to fall asleep. "Fuck, it's past my bedtime... What's today?" he wondered. He was already thinking about calling tomorrow. If it was the weekend he could call during the day. If it was still somewhere in the week, he'd have to wait until the evening.

"_Wednesday,"_ said Roy instantly.

"Ah, right, I can't tell anymore. Can I call you again? Maybe tomorrow, if my damn fever will let up," asked Ed, shifting his body downward on the bed so that it creaked in complaint. As soon as he hung up he was going to fall asleep.

"_Sure,"_ agreed Roy softly.

"Okay, I'll write soon too and try not to be so messy this time. I have drugs now," boasted Ed, although they weren't near as strong as what he had in the hospital and it was more like medicine for his fever then actual pain killers. He needed to get _reacquainted_ with his nerves without the interference of drugs. Once he had attunded himself with his arm, he was going on some heavy narcotic, anit-rejection drugs to help with this body's healing process.

"_Alright. I hope you recover soon..."_ said Roy, sounding for all the world like he was going to just wallow in guilt as soon as he got off the phone.

"What?" asked Ed, suspicious. "Stop that! I'll have to smack you if you keep that up..." warned Ed. He wouldn't let Roy fall down the same guilt-path that he had walked if he could help it.

"_Good night, Ed,"_ said Roy instead of answering him.

Ed snorted. Of course, Roy would never just say what was on his mind. But he didn't have the energy to sort Roy out. "Yeah, night Roy." He stayed on the phone a few moments more after the connection ended from Roy's side. "Miss you," he whispered as he replaced the receiver.

* * *

The next morning found Ed being awoken as Winry came to his room with his breakfast on a tray. Barely awake, Ed glared at her suspiciously. This would be the first time since getting his auto-mail ports as a child that she had brought him anything.

"What do you want?" growled Ed with his sleep-roughened voice. He uncurled his body and cautiously stretched his toes in one direction and his fingertips in the other.

Winry stopped mid-step, halfway to his bed, making the china tinkle together lightly. "What makes you think I want anything?" snapped Winry, frowning at him over a mug of something warm.

Ed eased himself into a sitting position. Mornings always left him stiff and slow to get moving. All his injuries hurt the most in the morning too. Ed threw her the most insipid look he could. "You're joking, right? 'What makes me think you want anything'?" he repeated. "How about the fact that you've brought me breakfast when I could have used it like a week ago."

He watched Winry struggle to put aside whatever it was she wanted to say to that until she smiled as sweetly as she could. Ed narrowed his eyes, thoroughly not impressed.

"I heard from Al that you called Mr. Mustang last night," said Winry, finally approaching his bed, placing the tray on the covers near Ed's hip. Ed quickly looked over the contents of the tray; toast, tea, some red jam and a big, fucking huge, glass of milk. She took the seat next to his bed, brushing her coveralls of some imaginary dirt. Taking a large breath, she looked up into his eyes and waited.

Ed looked into Winry's over eager eyes and raised an eyebrow questioningly. He had no idea what the hell she might be after, but didn't appreciate the underlying thought. With a shrug of his shoulder, Ed reached out for the tea cup. Food didn't appeal to him right at the moment; his fever still had a firm grip on his body. But for now, Winry was faster the he was, as she slapped his hand smartly away.

"Dammit—what!" snapped Ed, pulling his hand back with a glare.

"So…" prompted Winry, smiling now.

"'So' what? What do you _want_ you auto-mail freak!"

"Tell me what happened," said Winry with a happy bounce on the chair. "You know, what did you say to one another?"

"Stuff. Can I eat now?" Ed reached out for the tea again. He actually got his fingers around the handle before he was slapped away again. "Stuff, stuff, we said stuff, geez Winry! If you're not going to let me have any of this—move, so I can go downstairs." Beneath the covers, Ed shifted his leg, knocking the tray slightly.

"No, no, you can't!" Winry, leaned forward out of her chair and pushed him back by his chest. "I just want to know if you need help," she explained.

"Help? I don't want help. Can I go now?" growled Ed, brushing her hands off of him. Ed had to spread his legs for balance as Winry fell forward slightly.

It was really Winry's fault. He was injured, he couldn't be held accountable for what had happened.

The loud, shattering sound of china smashing on the floor, spilling the contents of his breakfast everywhere, made the struggling occupants of the bed freeze in horror. Then Winry's eyes got all huge and evil like they did just before she started throwing tools around.

It was screaming and ranting and Ed winded up getting his head knocked on the headboard a few times. All Ed could do was curl up and cover his head. Al must not be putting out because Winry was being evil right now. But then that didn't seem right. If Al wasn't putting out, that means there must be something wrong with him. When he asked Al that after his brother had pried Winry off of him, Winry holding the phone from his bedside table in one hand, and the empty milk bottle in the other, Al declared him concussed and made him rest quietly.

Winry took the phone in retaliation for not telling him anything and for breaking the china.

It wasn't _his_ fault.

He sulked the rest of the day in his room, peeved that he wouldn't be able to call Roy tonight.

* * *

The following week went by slowly. Ed began to sneak around the house in the dead of night since he spent the days in his room to avoid Winry. Each time he passed by the phone in the front room, he debated with himself endlessly on whether he should call Roy even if it did wake him, but in the end he always decided that he wouldn't be that selfish.

On one particularly warm night, Ed decided that it was time he go talk to mom. Pulling down Al's jacket from the hook by the door, Ed opened the door silently. The crickets were singing and the night was dark without the moon. But he didn't need light to find his way to the cemetery.

The walk was the most strenuous thing he'd done since the accident. The usually fifteen minute walk turned into a forty minute shuffle. But he didn't care. Soon enough the cemetery came into view.

"Hey, mom," Ed said into the darkness, the crickets halting their calls at the sound of his voice. "Miss you."

Slowly, using his mother's headstone as support, Ed lowered himself down to the grass, pulling the jacket around him. What faint lights he could see from distant farmsteads did little to lend any illumination to his position. But he was fine with that.

"Mom? I've been seeing someone. I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner, but with everything else, I've been busy in Central. I bet Al's told you though." He fell silent, pulling the jacket even tighter around his body. Now that he wasn't moving, the chill in the air was starting to affect him strongly.

Ed sighed. He couldn't stay much longer or else he'd risk his health. He sure as hell didn't want to rack up any more time in bed then he was already forced to do. With another sigh, Ed pushed on the headstone to stand on wobbly legs. It might have been a bad idea to come out here alone…

"I really love him, mom. I think you'd like him a lot. Once I'm all better, I'll come and see you again." Ed patted the headstone in farewell, then started for home. It was time to try and make nice with Winry in order to get the phone back.

* * *

Another week went by before Ed got a reply from Roy by mail. He eagerly tore through the envelope addressed to himself and missing postage. There was a huge grin on his face from the post office's official stamp declaring 'insufficient postage' on the front. He pulled out the letter and began to read.

_Ed –_

_Using the military's stationary was not cheap. This is cheap. (By the way, great idea on putting your letter in and doing 'return to sender'. I'll have to remember that one.)_

Ed had to agree with Roy there. This was pretty cheap. He wasn't sure if he could think of anything to top this.

_I don't think you ever did tell me that was a good day, but I assumed by the far away look you had after we were done... wrestling… that you'd had a pretty good time. I'm glad you told me, though._

_You're not missing a lot here in Central. Everything is as dull and boring as normal—normal being relative to when you're not here. I've healed up enough that tonight is the last night I'll be on pain medication. The doctor seems to think that the knee will be fine, though it will always be a little on the weak side, so I'm not to over do things. _

_As for your code, one must stop talking long enough to 'talk without talking'. And yes, you do suck, but I enjoy every minute of it. I didn't know Al and Winry were the types to let people watch them._

_When are you coming home? _

_- Roy_

_P.S. Don't tell Hawkeye I'm drinking with my pain killers tonight or she'll kill me_.

Ed stared at the last line in complete disbelief. After all that had happened, Roy was drinking. Again?

"Fuck," he hissed under his breath. He knew that Roy should be getting home soon, since it was Friday and all. Hobbling through the house, Ed found his confiscated phone and took it back with him to his bedroom. Winry wasn't around to stop him and he had to talk with Roy now. If he got in trouble later, then so be it. Al was sitting at their shared desk pouring over some new book, but he wanted to be alone for this call. "Al! Scram," barked Ed, using the phone to point to the door.

Al turned in his seat and raised an eyebrow, shrugged and took his book with him out into the hall, closing the door behind him. It took only moments to fix the phone, get settled on the bed and dial Roy's number. He picked up the letter as the phone began to ring, reading it over again. Not only had Roy been drinking he made a perverted crack about what he'd said in his last letter.

"_Mustang,"_ said Roy simply.

"Humph! You had to pick out the one word in all that and make it perverted! And what the hell are you fucking thinking of—drinking!" demanded Ed, not bothering with pleasantries this time around. He glared at the far wall, wishing that Roy could _see_ his anger right now.

"_Ed? Well, good evening to you too,"_ said Roy dryly, the smile evident in his voice.

"Tch...yeah, yeah...how's the bastard tonight? Miss me?" wondered Ed cheekily, trying to force his anger aside. The more he heard Roy's voice the less he wanted to spend his energy on being angry and starting a fight.

"_I always miss you..."_ muttered Roy. He supposed that Roy hadn't meant for him to hear, but he had. His anger was completely gone now. He wondered if that was on purpose, but then, Roy didn't sound like he was trying to lead him around by the nose. _"You must have gotten my letter..."_ wondered Roy, sounding mortified.

"Yes, I got your letter," said Ed, rolling his eyes. His anger replaced with annoyance. And Roy called _him_ irresponsible. "What goes through your head sometimes? Mixing pain killers with liquor? You're insane. I'll have to punish you," growled Ed, lacing his voice with his intent to cause bodily harm…and then his voice cracked right at the end; ruining it. Stupid fever was still affecting him slightly. Ed sagged into the pillows, lying on his back. Figures…

Roy coughed. Ed was fully prepared to have to deal with Roy's teasing. _"I won't lie... I actually can't remember everything I put in the letter, but from what I do remember, I think I'd rather not know what all I said..."_ said Roy humorously. Ed pressed his lips into a thin line. The man needed a babysitter in the worse way.

"_Anyway, I wasn't drinking a lot. When I got out of the hospital I drank a lot more with a higher dose and I lived through it, but you know the lieutenant, she... talked me out of it... That night was just... sort of a fluke."_ At least Roy had the grace to sound embarrassed about it all.

"Okay, it better be!" said Ed with as much disapproval as he could summon. But then maybe Roy was only doing that because he hadn't called in a while… "Sorry I haven't been able to call...er...Winry...is such a bitch sometimes"

"_I'm sure she has your best interest at heart..."_ said Roy, but Ed could tell he didn't believe one word that he just said.

"No, she doesn't! I swear her fucking goal in life is to make me as miserable as she can as fast as she can. It like a fucking art form for her!"

"_And I'm sure you're a perfect angel?"_ quipped Roy.

Ed just sat on his bed in some sort of stunned bubble. In his mind he could see Roy sitting across from him behind his desk with that _fucking_ annoying smirk of his tugging at his lips. With only a few words Roy had pushed all his buttons as once. He hated it. But… Closing his mouth with a click of his teeth, Ed said in the flattest most inexpressive voice, "Very fucking funny, bastard. How very fucking original and droll you are today. I'm laughing myself silly."

"_When are you returning to Central?"_ asked Roy. Bastard wasn't even aware that he had gotten Ed all riled up. He could hear Winry's screechy voice outside his door, yelling for Alphonse.

"That's up to the bitch..." mumbled Ed into the phone.

"I can hear you, Edward!" hollered Winry through the door.

Ed rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Tch, she _stole_ the phone from me. She _knows_ I hate milk. Why did she give it to me? It's not my fault it...fell on the floor..." groused Ed, leaning back against the headboard. He hadn't meant for his leg to kick the tray to the floor. She totally freaked out on him for no reason.

"_Well, Ed, you can choose how you react to your situation. You can keep thinking about how horrible your situation is and act like a shithead which will only make the situation more miserable or you can tell yourself that even though it's frustrating you're going to make the best of it and choose to act pleasant. Which will make your stay there easier to handle,"_ said Roy, as if he'd been saying this all along…which was just strange.

"Huh…" grunted Ed, blinking at the covers on his bed as he tried to sort that out. "Can I speak to Roy please; I think I don't have the right house..."

The line was quite for only a moment. _"Sorry..."_ Roy said, sounding uneasy. _"How are you feeling?"_

"Fine, except for certain irritants," said Ed, thinking of Winry's many mood swings the past few days. "I think if this goes on too long, I'll run away." That was a promising thought. Ed was already thinking about logistics of the get-away. What'd he need, when would be the best time to go.

"_I have a feeling you wouldn't get too far,"_ said Roy, interrupting his planning.

"Says you! I happen to be doing very well. I've even walked up to see mom..." Ed didn't want to mention, though, that even _he_ knew how stupid that was. But he wasn't going to let Roy get a chance to say so. "And no one knew I had even left," he let pride for his accomplishment come through his voice.

Silence.

Frowning, Ed began to wonder if he hadn't done as good enough job of hiding his own foolishness from Roy. Maybe he had picked up on his stupidness and was about to rag him out any minute now.

"_Ed..._" said Roy. Ed waited uneasily. "_I'm... I'm sorry for being such an asshole..."_

It took a moment to understand what Roy said. It was so different from what he was expecting that he momentarily forgot to respond. "What brought that on? Did I make it sound like you were being one?" asked Ed uncertainly.

Roy sighed into the phone. _"No... I just wanted—needed—to say it because... well, I miss you... and I've thought a lot about us lately... about how you wanted to stay friends even though... we're not really 'us' anymore... I think I'd like that..."_ said Roy hesitatingly.

It was like Ed didn't dare to hope. His mind rang with those words; 'I miss you', 'thinking about us lately', and 'we're not really "us" anymore'. Ed ran his eyes around the room, dazedly. It was almost like, finally, Roy was starting to see that being apart was _wrong_. Unconsciously, his left hand tightened around the receiver as a vice seemed to squeeze just as hard around his chest.

"_And since we both know what an ass I am, I just thought I'd apologize up front about it before we go any further."_

"Roy..." began Ed, then faltered. He sighed. What could he do but accept Roy's apology. "I accept. And even if you said 'no' I'd still call or write or when I get back, be waiting on your doorstep. I...I know you don't want to hear it, but I don't want this to be over. I miss you so much it hurts sometimes," said Ed softly. Right now he'd almost do the unthinkable again just to have Roy in the room with him. Damn, it was over four months ago that Roy had last held him. Thinking about it now, how it felt when Roy had his arms around him, holding him close. That was what he secretly wanted.

"I dreamed that you were with me the day I left the hospital. I would have sworn to anything that you were with me in the night. I could feel your warmth, your arm. I don't want that to stay only a dream. It...can't." Ed frowned at himself. It sounded so…pathetic, but he couldn't help it. He needed Roy like he needed food or air. It was—it just _was_! He could hardly explain it to himself, let alone try to explain it to Roy or anyone else.

Roy sighed once more, loud enough that the speaker buzzed slightly. _"I never want to hurt you again... I thought... I thought I was in control; thought that I'd never do something like that to you..."_ confessed Roy, his voice breaking. Ed widened his eyes as large as they could go at the sound of it.

"_But I wasn't in control. I never was... I know now that I was just putting off the inevitable. I..."_ Ed swallowed hard when he heard Roy's voice dropped alarmingly. _"Care for you with all my heart... but... I'm afra—I don't want to hurt you again... I couldn't bear it..."_ finished Roy.

"A-are you crying?" wondered Ed softly. He suddenly wished that Roy was with him right now, so that he could see what Roy was feeling.

"_No..."_ Roy whispered after a long moment of silence.

"Geez, Roy..." Ed looked up at the ceiling, trying and failing, to get his emotions under control. This whole conversation had his emotions going one way, only to take a dramatic swing the other way in the next instant. "Are you saying you lo—like me too? Not like friends, but more then friends?" asked Ed, trying to figure out _exactly_ what was being said.

"_I..."_ stammered Roy breathlessly, a tremor in his voice. "_I... I have to go... I'm sorry..."_

Ed sat there stupidly listening to the dial tone in his ear. Trapping the phone against his shoulder, Ed reached out and depressed the hook, ending the call from his side. Why did Roy…just leave all of a sudden? What did it mean? What was he missing? Why couldn't he just know what Roy was thinking? Why did it have to be so hard to get information from him?

Ed dealt in facts; numbers or equations. These emotions and feelings were hard to know what to do with. Most of the time he just did the first thing that came to him, be it striking someone or yelling profanities when he was pissed off. But this, this was hard! He had to think now, since he didn't _want_ to always react. But it was hard and Roy wasn't making it any easier. Just when he thought he had some sort of idea about Roy, some new variable popped into the equation and messed up the end result.

As he was thinking all this, his fingers were already working to dial Roy's number. He needed answers and the only way he was going to get any was by talking to Roy. The first phone call was so much better, so much easier to understand what was happening. The phone began to ring in his ear, so he transferred the receiver to his left hand and waited.

And waited.

After almost twenty rings, Ed stopped counting. The sound became one long buzz in his head. The longer Roy didn't pick up the more agitated he became. How could Roy just _leave_ like that? After something like five minutes of the mind numbing sound, Ed placed the receiver on the cradle. Roy didn't want to talk to him. But he _needed_ to talk to Roy…so, how to get him on the phone…

Hawkeye's face came to mind, but he'd rather not have to pull that card if he could help it. He needed someone to go over to Roy's house to make him answer the phone. Ed groaned aloud. He was dense sometimes.

Picking up the phone again, Ed dialed another number hurriedly. This time it was answered relatively quickly.

"_Hello, Gleeson residence,"_ a youthful voice said.

"Hey, is this Isaac?" asked Ed, knowing that it was.

"_Uh-huh! That's me!"_ the boy said.

"Can I speak to your mom real quick," Ed said before the boy could launch into one of his rambling stories. The phone was exchanged without incident and then Mrs. Gleeson was greeting him. Without preamble, Ed said, "I need a huge favor, please. I need you to go next door and tell Mustang to answer his phone within the next five minutes. Can you do that? Oh, and tell him if he doesn't I'll tell Hawkeye. Please," begged Ed.

"_Of course, Ed,"_ Mrs. Gleeson said. There was a question in her voice, but she didn't ask and Ed didn't offer. With a mumbled thanks, Ed hung up. Now he had to wait. He gave, what he figured, was enough time to walk between the houses before he dialed Roy's place again.

It was several more moments of ringing until Roy picked up the phone. _"Insistent brat..."_ growled Roy crossly.

"You can't just leave like that! Roy! I mean, you have to tell me what you meant by that. Please!" Ed implored Roy. He needed answers, not these half formed ideas, or comments that Roy always did.

"_Dammit, Ed,"_ cursed Roy in aggravation. _"What do you want me to say? Do you want me to beg you to come home to me because I can't bear being without your touch? Do you want me to tell you that I dream of you at night and see you in various rooms of my apartment when I'm awake? Do you want me to tell you that I'm in love with you? That I need you more than food or water or air; more than life itself?"_

"Yes..." said Ed in a breathless rush. Roy did care for him… He really did.

"_Then..."_ said Roy after a long pause. _"You've already heard it..."_ Roy said with a disturbing, defeated tone to his voice.

"Shit," hissed Ed, frowning hard. That wasn't what he thought it should be like. "I'm taking the train tomorrow. I need to see you!" said Ed determined. Whenever he thought about what love should look like he saw Al and Winry. Roy didn't sound happy about it at all.

"_No..."_ said Roy softly. "_You're not well enough. I don't want you to chance hurting yourself."_

"Yeah, but, you sound like someone just died. If you...love someone...like..." Ed paused. He knew he had to say it back, so he should just do it already! "Fucking hell—like I fucking love you!" shouted Ed. He could only say it fast, before his mind caught up to what was happening. "It shouldn't be like that! It should be happy and shit, like Al and Winry! I need to see you. It'll be months yet before they'll _let_ me leave, so I'll just sneak out like before. By the time they figure it out, I'll be well on my way. I can stay with you, and we can work this out. We can start new, take it slow."

"_I said 'no'!"_ snapped Roy, The Commander. _"You will 'not' leave Rizembool! You have to recover—"_

"Roy, I need to see you," said Ed again. He wasn't going to let Roy get off this phone until he understood that he was going to be coming to Central whether he liked it or not. "I'm fine, I can make it. I'm better—"

"_Ed!"_ snapped Roy. Ed closed his mouth, waiting. _"I... I'll come to you..."_ said Roy softly_. "I told you, I couldn't bear it if I hurt you again, and if you got hurt coming to see me, it would be the same..."_

"You will?" asked Ed, not really believing that Roy was actually going to do this.

"_Yes..."_ replied Roy, sounding doubtful and slightly lost. There was a pause to breathe. _"Yes, I will,"_ said Roy, with conviction this time. Ed smiled uncertainly. "_I'll... I'll leave tonight."_

"You will?" wondered Ed, still not wholly convinced that Roy was telling him the truth here.

"_Yes,"_ Roy said in a rush. _"I..._" There was a hesitant pause. "_Do you... I... You... How do you..." _stammered Roy. Ed blinked to hear how agitated Roy was. _"About me...? Do you...?"_

Ed closed his eyes and shook his head in puzzlement. It _sounded_ like Roy wanted to know how he felt about him. "Er... Do I love you back?" he wondered, but didn't give Roy a chance to answer. "I must admit that I'm confused about love, but I know I need you even though you piss me off, and push my buttons, but I need you, so yeah, I do. Will I get to see you on Sunday? For real? What about work? You'll get in trouble—but I can't say as I care as long as I get to see you. Get here fast," finished Ed in a rush.

There was a silence on the line, then Roy said, _"I won't be able to stay long. I have to be back by Wednesday, but... talk to your brother. Tell him I'm coming, and tell him I want to take you with me when I leave._" Roy stumbled to a stop once more. Ed opened his mouth to say something, but then Roy continued. _"That is... if you want to come back with me..."_ said Roy, hesitantly.

"What...?" Ed wasn't sure if he should trust his hearing, because he was sure that Roy had just asked him to _live_ with him! "Yes," said Ed quickly, before Roy could take it back. "I want to go with you!" Ed lifted the receiver away from his mouth. "Al! Get yer butt up here!" he yelled at the closed door. He turned his attention back to the phone. "You sure it's okay? I mean—to stay with you? I get to see you everyday?"

"_Yeah..."_ agreed Roy kindly. _"If you're willing to take the chance... I want to promise I'll never get angry again like I did that morning... but..."_ Ed held his breath. _"But I can promise that I'll try very hard..."_

"Come fast, Roy," said Ed, dismissing the anger issue for a later time. "I'll be waiting."

"_Watch for me,"_ Roy said, sounding the happiest Ed had heard in a long time.

"Right!" agreed Ed, determined that it would work out.

"What are you yelling for?" wondered Al, opening the door to the bedroom and frowning at him. Before Ed could answer he heard the phone go dead. He replaced the receiver and smiled up at his brother.

--To Be Continued—

Please review! And don't forget to watch for ZaKai's version that will be posted shortly.


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